Help with 1Cor.7:13

[hammerandnails]

I have a question about the unbelieving husband and the believing wife.
My husband is not a believer.
Oh, he believes that is a God, and that is the extend of his beliefs.
We were separated for 4 years, and I decided that I would never marry or have a relationship
ever again. I dedicated my life to the Lord. But MY plan did not work out, as usual.
The Lord had other plans for me which included me returning to my husband broken and humiliated.
Since my return, I am being purged, burned, pruned and what ever else God is doing, and it hurts.
I am going through a lot of changes. Up today, down tomorrow, and some days I am brain dead!!!! 
My question is on 1Cor.7:13,14
      "And the woman which has a husband that believes not, and if he be pleased to
       dwell with her, let her not leave him. (v.13)
       For the unbelieving husband is sanctified (set apart) by the wife, and the
       unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean;
       but now are they holy." (v.14)

Anybody can explain this to me?
How I am sanctifying my husband?
How is he set apart?
Anybody can relate to this?
Any words of edification?

Thank you.
Blessings
Ariel
       

[Samson]

Hello Ariel,

                I don't personally like to tell what people should or shouldn't do regarding 1Cor chapter 7
                and Marital Separation, Divorce, etc. However, here is an E-mail to Ray that has some
                relevance regarding Marital Difficulties.


                Also read the Article from the front page of this Site Entitled: Unevenly Yoked, Well read this
                e-mail below, I couldn't find anything else of a similiar nature from Ray.


                 
                http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2618.0.html


                 
                                      Hope this Helps, after being a former JW for twenty years,
                                      Marrriage Separation and Re-Entry is a stressfull past for me.


                                           Kind Regards, Samson.

[Akira329]

How I am sanctifying my husband?
As CHrist is sanctified he is sancitifying you through his word and his word is truth.
You will do the same with your husband, speak the truth and live in his word.
Joh 17:17  Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
Joh 17:18  As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world.
Joh 17:19  And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth.
Love him as Christ loves the church.
Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1Co 7:12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
1Co 7:13  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1Co 7:14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1Co 7:15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
1Co 7:16  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
1Co 7:17  But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
1Co 7:18  Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
1Co 7:19  Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
1Co 7:20  Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
1Co 7:21  Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
1Co 7:22  For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
1Co 7:23  Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
1Co 7:24  Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God

Endure

Antaiwan

[cjwood]

hi ariel,
i can relate. however, my husband is an agnostic. he doesn't believe that there is any proof that there is one supreme God. actually, he is the one who caused me to really start questioning how my God could be a God of love and give a new commandment through Jesus Christ that we are to love our enemies, BUT, He was going torment unbelievers in a physical fire for eternity. it wasn't long after that when God led me to the bible-truths website. i have been married for 16 1/2 yrs. we do not have any children, however, i do have one daughter from my previous marriage. (she is now 29 yrs old). my husband and i did not date for long before we got married. i asked him about whether he believed in God, before we got married and all he really said was that he used to go to church every summer with his grandmother when he and his family were visiting the u.s. my husband grew up in london. anyway, i kind of dropped it after that i guess because i was "assuming" by his answer that since he attended church with his grandmother that he had at least a beginners knowledge of God. i was so wrong. in the last 4 yrs the unequally yoking of a believer (me) to an unbeliever (him) has taken its' toll. especially the las 2 yrs. he had an online affair which i walked in on the day after christmas in '06. i was devastated. then in '07 i just purposely put my focus on my daughter's wedding at the end of '07 (it was in san miguel, mexico). i felt like i was on a roller coaster, up one day and down the next. my husband told me that he wanted a divorce but that he wanted to pay off all debts first. he works in the oildfield industry and works in the international arena (currently works offshore in nigeria). then he decided we should go ahead and try counseling. i have not worked since '02 when i got laid off from my company when they downsized. my husband said that i didn't need to work because he was earning a good salary. in 1997 i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. in early 2000 i got breast cancer (very early stage). in late summer 2000 we moved into a new home. then, in 2002 i got laid off. in 2004 my father died unexpectedly, and my health issues became more predominant. i started going to a pain clinic and per multiple mri's found that i had cervical and lumbar problems due to past injuries. i have nerve damage in my left leg. i started suffering depression due to my health issues and due to my husband being gone every other month, and due to my daddy's death and my momma's subsequent heartache and feeling of loneliness and depression (they had been married 60 yrs.). when i found out about my husband's online affair at the end of '06, he confessed that he had been unhappy since 2004. bottom line, after i was led to the bt website and started learning how absolutely awesome our God and His Son are, i felt i needed to do some serious thinking about my marriage which was pretty much a farce. i would go back and forth between being so angry at my husband and wanting to get as far away from him as possible, and then facing the reality that due to health problems i most likely could not support myself or work full-time to keep my health insurance. then i told myself that i could not stay in my marriage just because of money and health insurance, because i knew that my Father would meet my needs if He indeed was calling me out of my marriage. after i went to the bt nashville conference the past september, i came home convinced that i needed to go through with the divorce. when i talked to my husband about this, it was obvious that he was concerned that he could very possibly loose me and our marriage. in the past few weeks he called me from nigeria to say that he didn't want a divorce and that he missed me and didn't want to loose me. so, there i was, a living example of the scripture you referenced. a believing wife with an unbelieving spouse who wanted to stay in the marriage. he acknowledged that he had made a serious mistake with the online affair, and that he has work to do regarding his issues with lust and pornography. so, i would lay awake at night, AGAIN, and cry out to God asking Him to show me what path i should take. actually, it was after i started going to God and crying out to Him that my husband called me from nigeria to say he didn't want to divorce. so here i am. it has been almost 2 yrs since the online affair and we are still married. i am actually getting excited about seeing him when he comes home this thursday from nigeria. BUT, i still wonder HOW can our marriage work out with the unequally yoking issue. the bt link that samson posted as a reply to you was a very good one for me to read. i had never read that particular email response by ray. i have read the unequally yoked to an unbeliever paper that ray wrote. i have studied and restudied it a few times now. like ray responded to the email question in the link, i know that God is showing me that i am to be the best wife i can be each and every day. i also know that i am to continue studying the scriptures daily and to not use my husband as an excuse not to study ray's teachings and the scriptures. after i found out about my husband's affair i had put my studying of the scriptures aside because i didn't want to "turn my husband off." BUT, he never asked me to stop studying the scriptures on to stop going to the bt website. God has shown me that i am to keep my eyes on my Saviour and His truths, but that i have a duty to my husband even if he is an unbeliever. i have shared the truth about there not being a literal hell where unbelievers would perish with my husband and he has listened, but, i know for a truth that i cannot lead my husband to God. that is between God and my husband. i can only be the best example of a loving wife and loving child of God that i can be. my husband has made it clear that he wants to stay together and i have made it clear that trust and honesty and respect are very big issues in our marriage. so, i take it one day at a time. i actually realized that after 2006 i had stopped praying to God for my husband. now i pray without ceasing that God will tenderize my husband's hardened heart towards God and His Son, and that God would show mercy and grace to my husband and draw him to Himself. for my husband's sake though, NOT for mine. what better thing could i do but to pray that God would reveal Himself to my husband. what better thing than that could happen to him!!!??? but then again, if it never happens before i or my husband pass away, then i know at least that my husband will repent and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord after my husband goes through the great white throne judgement. so, i too used to wonder about 1 cor. 7:13. but i guess i believed that since there was the issue that the unbelieving husband would be sanctified by the believing wife, or else the children would be unclean, meant that since my husband and i didn't have any children, then the scripture didn't apply to our situation. but i know that i need to do more indepth study of that particular scripture. ariel, i would exhort you to read the link that samson provided and continue to give your heart to God and studying of the scriptures, using ray's teachings as a guide, but not to harbor resentment towards your husband because of his lack of desire to pursue a personal relationship with God. if you truly love your husband, pray for him and pray for your marriage. if i haven't learned anything else, i have learned that God loves you more than you can even begin to imagine, and He knows your needs and desires of your heart. He is the best daddy, daddy that any girl could want. He will show you his path for you. believe it.

i will keep you and your husband in my prayers.

love in Jesus Christ,
claudia

[Falconn003]

This article says alot about marriages.........

Unequally Yoked

Marriage and Unbelievers

http://bible-truths.com/yoked.htm

Rodger

[hammerandnails]

Dear Sampson,
I thank you so for your words, and the link to Ray's advise.
It helped a lot.

Dear Antaiwan,
After being a churchite for a while, and after much suffering and anguish,I had purposed in my heart that I will
be authentic AT ALL COST!!
With this in mind, I will tell you that your post had brought something to my recollection. I remember a time when I had
hit people over the head with the bible.
Furthermore, NOW I can relate to how Job must have felt when his friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, came to mourn
with him and to comfort him.
BUT, I verily thank you, because I knew that at some point I've got to experience the taste of my own medicine.
Truly the will of my God be done.
In all fairness, they {Job's friends} could not relate or even began to phantom {even if seen with the eyes},
what Job was going through.
And I, my beloved brother, did not expand what exactly is going on.
So, I don't blame you one bit, and I forgive you for the bump on my head.
However, if we are truly chosen, and bear the mark of God, we should be able to speak to our brothers
and sisters in love and with no reservation. And let the one who think it stands, take heed lest
he falls. I desperately pray that we can speak without hiding behind a new mask called the Elect!!!
So, I love you brother in the presence of Christ my Saviour!!

Dear Claudia,
Your testimony was a breath of fresh air to my spirit.
I wept sore, as I do even now as I write these words, and my heart goes out to you.
I can relate to your pain, and I thank my God for igniting a spark in your husband heart.
May His name be blessed and glorified!!!!
I will plead for you and your husband and lift you before our God, that me may extend His mercy toward you!!!!!

Since you have shared so much, I feel compelled to share as well, for you and I pray for the benefit of whomsoever may read.
I will do my best to keep it short.

For the purpose of understanding of the whole picture, I must take you back, only for a moment to my childhood.
I am from Romania, and I was born in Bucharest, on Jan.7, 1964.
In my childhood I was abused sexually by my uncle from as far as I can remember until
I was 15yo. I was beaten severely by my mother {that is the form of discipline in that neck of the woods}, with chains,
boards, furniture, glass, thrown outside in the middle of winter to sleep with the dogs { about seven of them}nights in a row.
All this was done on the altar of education. She will make somebody out of me!!!
A C will start a war until the neighbors that heard my screams will come and rescue me.
I would wake up at five Am almost every day, winter or summer, no matter to buy fresh bread, milk and cigarettes.
My play time consists of cleaning, laundry, sweeping, cooking, washing windows, floors, dishes, and taking care of my brother and sister
[I am the oldest}.
I was raped at 16 as I returning home {after I ran away} by this man who posed as a Taxy driver.
He took me in the woods, and on the way he described to me how he is that he will kill me after.
After he make me perform despicable acts while he was driving, I was able to free myself
and jump out of the car at a speed of 60 miles an hour.
After that, I don't remember anything exept that I saw a house with a dim light hanging from the roof.
Now I know who saved me.
After that I got married to escape the hell that I was in and jumped into another hell.
But that is another story.
I want to say that I NEVER, NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF A VICTIM. I NEVER BLAMED ANYBODY FOR WHAT
I SUFFERED OR WHAT I DID!!!!
Fast track to 1986. I came to America!!
I divorced my husband [it feels like] as soon as I touched the ground of this country.
I was alone with a 4 mo. old living on welfare [in Romania I was rich, I mean really rich].
I never complained, no, not even for a moment!!!!
I went to college and became an RN in 1994.
I was an RN in Romania as well.
I moved to Florida and worked as an RN.
I become very successful very fast and I was promoted until I was no more promotion to be given me
for the level of education that I possessed.
With that came the self aggrandizement, pride, drinking, partying, all all the material possesions that I
can possibly want. I bought 2 houses and I drove the most expensive Lexus there was.
My husband [which I've met and moved in with him in 1988], was an illegal and he could not work, since he had 3 deportation orders.
We eventually got married.
I 1996, I started to use and abuse drugs from work. It started small, with a pill and escalated to injecting the most powerful drugs
that existed on the face of the earth.
In 1997 I got pregnant with my 10 year old, and my first thought was to abort him.
By then I had 21 abortions under my belt.!!!!!!!!!!!
Shocked???
I am speaking the truth as Christ is my witness!!!!
When I went for the abortion, the doctor told me that he cannot perform the abortion because I was 4.5 mo. pregnant
and he had to place me in the hospital and dilate me for 24 hours, then he can perform the procedure.
That will cost 1000$ which I did not have. I attempted to borrow the money, but nobody that I asked had any.
So, I decided along with my husband to keep the baby.
When I went to the first prenatal visit, I told the nurse practitioner that the baby is moving.
She ever so lovingly laughed at me and said: It is impossible, dear, you are barely 2 mo pregnant!!!!
See here the hand of God?
I stopped taking  drugs for the duration of my pregnancy, but soon enough they returned with a vengeance!!
I stole drugs from the hospital, from patients!!
I was like a kid in the candy store. My husband found out and he treathen-ed me that if I dint stop
he will report me to the hospital. So I detoxed by myself in my mom and dad's house.
I did not sleep for 5 days straight. I vomited my guts out, but I did it but it did not last.
I wanted so bad to stop, but it didn't. My husband throwed me out of the house and I lived in motels with my stash!!
I was still working as a nurse. Nobody knew. I never endangered the life of any patient, but I stole their
drugs.
At that point I was injecting in one dose enough to kill 10 horses. And I did this several times a day.
When people talk about one overdose, I laugh. I overdosed dosens of times, conservatively speaking.
There was no vein on my body that I did not poked, even in my fingers and toes, including my breasts.
I had gashing gaps on my body that got infected, including in the soles of my feet.
Even now I have a hard time walking because of the caluses that formed.
To make the story short, finally came the divine intervention!!
One night as I called my husband to talk to my son, he made this statement as my son was crying for me:
"You hear him, hear him good because you will never hear him again!"
In that moment I woke up!!!!
I couldn't walk, I crowled to the bathroom and discarded all my drugs in the toilet. Even to the day I cannot understand how the toilet did not overflow, because they were little bottles.
I came back home to my mom which lived in my guest house at the time, and collapsed on the bed exhausted.
2 hours later they called 911 because I was vomiting blood. I have not eaten in three mo. and had two ulcers of the size of Alaska.
I detoxed in the hospital in 6 days.
Now, let me tell you about how the Lord worked in my life as I see it now:
And as Christ is my witness I speak the truth:
In 1995, as I was driving home from work, I had a vision.
I believe it was the Lord, altough I cannot be sure 100%. In front of my car, this man dressed in sack cloth
appear in front of my car, and was extending something to me that he had in his hands.
It was a gift, but I could not discern what it was.
I don't know how long it lasted, but I don't even remember even driving home the rest of the way!!
I just "woke up" in front of my house, with the car perked.
Few days later, I accepted the Lord Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Saviour.
In my bedroom. Alone.[no other physical presence] No church, no music, no preacher, only a presence that brought me to my knees.
Just to mention that 3 days before I was listening to TBN and they were inviting people to come to Christ.
I did not do it then, but when the presence came 3 days later. I was like He brought it to my memory, and I did it.
Fast track, in 2006, after I had fallen away from the church, alone in my kitchen, time stood still and I stood on the sand of the sea!!!!
I heard a voice behind me, and I turned to see the voice!!!!
That's why when I read Ray's teachings, in that moment I knew!!!
The "voice" [you understand that it was not a physical voice], said this:
"Are you ready now??"[more like a statement and a question in the same time],
"This is your time, are you ready now??"
There was no time. Only Him.
Again," are you read?"
At that moment I KNEW I WAS READY!!!!I COUNTED THE COST, PRODIGAL SON COMING HOME IN THE SAME TIME!!!!
I CROSSED THE POINT OF NO RETURN!!!!
An hour before that happened, I was blaspheming and cursing God. I said so many f words, that the English dictionary
can't contain!!!!See the pattern???
For the following 6 mo. I read the bible not stop!!!
When I say non stop, I mean I could not stop!!!
In the kitchen, in the bathroom, nights and nights with no sleep, every waking moment.
On June 16, 2006 at 08:55 Am, as I was driving to work, something engulfed my car and I could not drive anymore!!!!
I was on the turnpike, and my only thought was that I was gonna crush. But I didn't.
No words, no voice, just an overwhelming presence that made me shake like a leaf. It was like I've leaped out of my body but I wasn't.
I pulled over, I don't know how, and payed the toll, I don't know how, and pulled over. I was not able to move
for 2 hours.I was baptized into the body and His death!!!!
But I did not know it at the time.
That day I was in ecstasy!!!
A year later, in 2007, i had offered my body a living sacrifice to the Lord.
On 5.21.2008 the fire fell.
On that day, as I was getting ready to go to work, I cried out loud:
"Let it be known to every devil in hell and to satan himself, that I serve the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I will bow my knee
to no other God, Him and Him only will I serve and be faithfull even if I die!!"
Eight hours later, I got fired.
Three days later, he, [my boss of 5 years], called me and said that he will kill me if I try to take his clients.
He, [my boss], will sue me until I have nothing left.
I filed a police report but the prosecution is still going on.
Five days later, on 5.26 my dad had a stroke and my mom a heart attack IN THE SAME DAY!!!!
He is paralyzed on the left side [never been sick one day in his life], and was at the point of death.
Doctors gave him 0 chances of survival, but he made it and so did mom.
I spent 2 mo. in hospitals and nursing homes, praising God with tears running down my face.
On 6.21.08, I had to move from my apt. were I lived with my 10 year old, guess where, to my husband that I left
4 years earlier with my nose up thinking that I will necer need him, I'll make it with the help of God.
I walked in with my head down, and praising God.
Since then, I am in Gehenna!!!
My husband thinks that there is God, then him under God and then the rest of humanity.
He [my husband], knows all things, can do all things and he is never wrong!!!!
Not only that he is never wrong, but everybody is stupid. He scorns me every day, "where is your God now??"
then he answers: " Oh, I know, he is on my side!!"
As for me, I feel empty. I can hardly walk most days. I physically feel like someone is scourging me with a cat of nine tails.
I cry myself to sleep most of the nights, begging God to give me a moment of peace. Only a moment.
I had a car accident about 10 days ago, it was not my fault, someone hit me in the passanger door as he was pulling out of a parking.
He has good insurance, but now the insurance co. is saying that it was not me who drove the car, it was my husband. How did they came up with that I don't know?
I cannot find a job despite my experience in teaching, and my degree.
My car is to be repossessed on the 17 of this month [my husband will not pay for my car payment].
I can not think straight, people must repeat things to me several times to understand them.
I look at my poor child, and I cannot even be a decent mother to him.
Things that I want to do I do not, and the wrong things that is what I do.
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT I DESIRE THE MOST THAN TO GIVE GOD GLORY AND HONOR
I WILL GIVE UP MY LIFE IN A MOMENT WITH NO SECOND THOUGHT IF HE ASK OF ME, I LOVE HIM AND HIS LOVE IS CONSUMING ME!!!!
My senses are all gone. I can barely see, my vision is poor, my strength is gone.
All my friends that I did not see in a long time, came to see me that they might glory in my tribulation.
I am everybody's scorn all day long.
My husband thinks I am good for nothing, and he let me know that 100 times a day.
Just when I think there are no more tears, they come again.

Now, the reason that I asked how is my husband sanctified is for me to know
and have a little hope as I ENDURE all these things.
I am in darkness, even that I study the God's word daily, several hours with tears running down my face,
it is painfull for me even to read.
I don't want God to save him for me, but for him. I want him to know and to feel the goodness of God in the land of the living!!!
I want sooooooo bad for him to understand the sacrifice and the price that He payed to ransome us!!!!
I WANT HIM TO KNOW!
I know scripture!!!
I need mercy!!!!!

[daywalker]

I have a question about the unbelieving husband and the believing wife.
My husband is not a believer.
Oh, he believes that is a God, and that is the extend of his beliefs.
We were separated for 4 years, and I decided that I would never marry or have a relationship
ever again. I dedicated my life to the Lord. But MY plan did not work out, as usual.
The Lord had other plans for me which included me returning to my husband broken and humiliated.
Since my return, I am being purged, burned, pruned and what ever else God is doing, and it hurts.
I am going through a lot of changes. Up today, down tomorrow, and some days I am brain dead!!!! 
My question is on 1Cor.7:13,14
      "And the woman which has a husband that believes not, and if he be pleased to
       dwell with her, let her not leave him. (v.13)
       For the unbelieving husband is sanctified (set apart) by the wife, and the
       unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean;
       but now are they holy." (v.14)

Anybody can explain this to me?
How I am sanctifying my husband?
How is he set apart?
Anybody can relate to this?
Any words of edification?

Thank you.
Blessings
Ariel
       

Hello Ariel,

I may not have a precise answer for you, but a few passages of Scripture instantly popped into my head, which I think may help...

"Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing you shall heap coals of FIRE on his head"
- Romans 12:20

*I'm not implying that your husband is literally your enemy; I believe this Scripture can be applied to everyone in our lives*

"But who may abide the day of His coming? And who shall stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner's FIRE, and like fullers' soap. And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness."
- Malachi 3:2

We know that symbolically GOD uses FIRE to purify our hearts, and our mind. GOD also uses his chosen to "spread His fire", if you will. "He makes his angels winds, his servants flames of fire." - Hebrews 1:7 (Also Psalm 104:4)

I believe that may be what the message is in 1 Cor 7:13-14, at least partially...

Remember: "For as He (Jesus) is, so ARE WE in this World." - I John 4:17

Hope that helps,

Christopher.

[hammerandnails]

I beg for your forgiveness,
in my haste, I did not say that I love you all,
and I thank you humbly for your words.
Blessings,
Ariel

[hammerandnails]

Dear Christopher,
Yes, it helped.
I am trying very hard to be a humble wife.
Since I don't have a job, I keep my house tidy, always food on the table when he comes
from work.
Whatever he ask of me I do to the best of my ability.
I used to be a control freak, but no longer.
I put my head down and agree with whatever he says, even if I know is wrong.
He likes to contradict a lot, and he will bring home pages of printed "bible contradictions"
for me to explain.
He labors to make me miserable.
Don't get me wrong, I respect my husband, he is a honest man.
He never cheated on me, he works hard at home and at work,
he is an outstanding member of society.
By all human standards, he is great!!
I appreciate him, and I try hard to honor him.
But is very hard when he thinks that everybody is stupid, including myself,
and laughs at everybody's problems.
One night, our neighbor came to our door to begged us to call 911 because someone had tried
to break into her house, and her phone was dead.
He slammed the door on her face because how dare her to wake him up.
I pray for him every day!!
But how long Lord? How long??

Love you all
Ariel

[walt123]

Hi Ariel

After reading your story ,I am sorry you had to go through that,I pray that GOD will help
you to see what you will need to do next,mean time surround your self with people that
will love you and give you hope for better times.
Also doing the right things hurts ,but no has the right to mistreat another.
I say this because i knew someone who had similar things happen in her life.

prayers for you ,Ariel


walt

[hammerandnails]

Thanks, Walt for your kind words.
I know that yesterday I was winning, and had some anger too.
But I learned that all the dirt has to come out somehow.
Walt, I wish that I had the luxury of having loving people around me.
When you stand for Christ you stand ALONE!!!
That is my heaviest burden. He alone had eliminated everybody out of my life.
One by one they left. There in not ONE who understands.
I am NOT sorry for what I had to endure.
I made a statement a while ago, that if all this suffering was necessary for me to
be touched by God, so be it!!!!!!! If I have to go through it again just to know Him, I'LL DO IT!!! I still stand by that statement!!!!
He is worth it!!!
It is required of me that I must pay a price for worshiping the King.

In 1Chr.21:22-25:
       " Then David said to Or'nan, Grant me the place of this THRESHINGFLOOR,
         that I may build an ALTAR therein to the Lord: YOU SHALL GRANT IT ME FOR THE
         FULL PRICE: that the plague may be stayed from the people.

         "And Or'nan said to David, Take it to you, and let my lord the king do that which is good
          IN HIS EYES: lo, I give you the oxen also for the BURNED OFFERINGS, and the
          THRESHING INSTRUMENTS for wood, and the wheat for the meat offerings:
          I GIVE IT ALL."

         " And king David said to Or'nan, Nay; BUT I WILL VERILY BUY IT FOR THE FULL PRICE:
           FOR I WILL NOT TAKE THAT WHICH IS YOURS FOR THE LORD, nor offer burned offerings
           without a COST."

         "And David gave to Or'nan for the place SIX HUNDRED shekels of GOLD by weight"

What you see in the very next verse that David built an altar and THE FIRE OF THE LORD FELL ON THE OFFERING!!!!

That's how I know that He accepted my sacrifice because the fire fell!!

I shared my story in part for the edification and comfort of those that are in need of it.
And probably in the process, I made a fool out of myself.
But if we are truly brothers, we will bear eachother folly, for the sake of Christ.

I am grateful to you all
Grace and peace
Ariel

[Marlene]

Ariel, My heart goes out to you. I am fairly new here, but I believe what Ray teaches and feel I was let out of prison.

You have been through so much. Now, I am sure he only gives us what we can handle. I have been through much, but nothing like you have. I have many health problems, but with the grace of God I endure. Dear, you humble me. You have not made a fool of yourself. I dated a young man when I was young who was addicted to drugs. I could not stay with him. I did not know how to deal with that. Besides, he basically took my love and jumped all over it. I have been blessed with a husband of 29 years who has helped me to heal.

I found out two years ago that , the Lord turned the man I dated years ago life around. He came from a good family. He was never abused. But, I know he started to travel all over USA to help people who fall into drug addiction and tell them about the Lord. He was in Babylons teachings then, but right before he died he had changed his believes, but not about God. I have no way of knowing if he found the truth, but God gives me a feeling he did. For all the pain he gave me I am glad God had us meet. The last time we spoke which had been around 31 years He did say he was sorry and he hoped to someday love like me. I knew then He did not know how to love. I know now he found someone who loved him unconditionally.

I wish I could give you advice about your husband. All, I can say keep him in prayer. You are very humble and dont want to be a hypocrite now and that is where I am at. We are no better then anyone. God knows and chooses our paths and what it takes to bring us to him. Praise His Holy Name I will keep you in my prayers.

In His Love,
Marlene

[hammerandnails]

Marlene,
you are such a beautiful person!!
Thank you for your kindness and understanding!

Is so comforting to know that you have someone to share your troubles
with, and relates with what you are going through.

Thank you again to you and to everyone.
Remember, we don't become overcomers by overcoming a flat tire.
We are more than conquerors in Christ Jesus!!!!

Grace and peace,
Ariel

[daywalker]

Dear Christopher,
Yes, it helped.
I am trying very hard to be a humble wife.
Since I don't have a job, I keep my house tidy, always food on the table when he comes
from work.
Whatever he ask of me I do to the best of my ability.
I used to be a control freak, but no longer.
I put my head down and agree with whatever he says, even if I know is wrong.
He likes to contradict a lot, and he will bring home pages of printed "bible contradictions"
for me to explain.
He labors to make me miserable.
Don't get me wrong, I respect my husband, he is a honest man.
He never cheated on me, he works hard at home and at work,
he is an outstanding member of society.
By all human standards, he is great!!
I appreciate him, and I try hard to honor him.
But is very hard when he thinks that everybody is stupid, including myself,
and laughs at everybody's problems.
One night, our neighbor came to our door to begged us to call 911 because someone had tried
to break into her house, and her phone was dead.
He slammed the door on her face because how dare her to wake him up.
I pray for him every day!!
But how long Lord? How long??

Love you all
Ariel

Hello again, Ariel

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, and you are in my prayers.

Though I can't say I understand everything you're going through, I can relate to how you're feeling.

I know, for myself, over the past several months since I first discovered Ray's teachings, I have gone through a ton of changes in my personality, character, and many other aspects of my being. I am seeing things very differently. Like when someone does or says something wrong to another person, I can feel it, and it hurts me. When I do or say wrong things, it eats me up inside.

I believe that GOD is slowly showing us how to see that world through His eyes, and it can be extremely painful, even confusing. I find myself asking GOD all the time, when? When will it all end? When will He end the pain and suffering? Is it really all necessary? Seeing the world through GOD'S eyes is beyond human understanding and comprehension, and I believe that's why we react the way we do.

I have shared quite a bit of what I've been learning with my wife, and although she basically agrees, I can tell that she doesn't yet "get it". She likes to say things like "well that wasn't very Christian", or "Would Ray approve of that?" As if I put myself on a pedestal .. She gets the "no free will" thing logically, but she doesn't fully comprehend.

I am far from perfect, I'll be the first to admit that. But the one thing that feel that I've always been good at is not treating others like they are inferior, and not judging people for the way they act. I've always tried to live by Jesus' words "why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, when you have a log in your own eye..." and my friends & family appreciate that. They know they can tell me anything, without the fear of me tearing them down, or condemning them in any way, or looking at them like they're evil or something. So when my wife says things like "Well that wasn't very Christian", it hurts because she knows I don't even pretend to be better than anyone else.

GOD uses other people in our lives to mold us into the person He wants us to be. Likewise, He uses us in other people's lives. The hardest thing to do, is to just trust in what He is doing. But this is what we must do ... as Paul said "Don't worry about anything".


I pray that GOD will comfort you, and grant you more wisdom to understand what He is doing in your life.

Your friend and brother,

Christopher.

[hammerandnails]

Dear Christopher,

Thank you so much for sharing.
That's exactly how I feel when he makes the " that's not christian" remarks.

I too am faaaaaar from perfect. I have moments when God showed me that he is actually better than me!!

You know what helped me the most from your posts?
The scripture that you gave me "...how He is so are we in this world."

That spoke directly to my spirit.
I think that that was exactly what I was looking for!!

Thank you again for taking the time to post.
Thank you for praying for me.
I will do the same.
Boy, I got to find a note book to write down all the names of people that I got to pray for!!
I hate to say that I will pray for you and I wont, like I used to do in Babylon.
Trust me brother, I've changed.
When I say I pray, I'll pray!! I FEAR HIM AS MUCH AS I LOVE HIM!!!

Many blessings to you and your wife.
Thanks to everybody who posted, and thank you for edification.

May the LORD bless you richly,
Ariel

[daywalker]

"You know what helped me the most from your posts?
The scripture that you gave me "...how He is so are we in this world."

That spoke directly to my spirit.
I think that that was exactly what I was looking for!!"

Hey Ariel,

Glad to hear that verse helped you, it helps me too. 

- Christopher

[indianabob]

Dear Friend Ariel,

I have read all the notes and agree with the helpful remarks and with your sincere appreciation for them.

I am a guy and I think that I have gone through some of the same things except not regarding my wife, since she has a very forgiving and patient attitude.  I was more the guy who would turn off the porch light and avoid the kids who came to our door asking for candy on Halloween and embarass my wife because of my attitude.  I was the guy who wanted to pay the first tenth of my pay check to the church even though we couldn't afford it.

So anyway, I was the problem child (immature and selfish)  However, one thing I have learned since drawing closer to the true understanding of God's plan is that we do not need to confront anyone about our faith.  We are of course eager to share what God has to offer, but we DO NOT have to show it; God knows our heart and that is enough.

This is especially true of our family and relatives.  We now have the pearl of great price that assures us that God has just as much love for our family as He does for each of us.  So, although it is probably too late now in your family to take back things you may have tried to teach your family (for their own good) it is not too late to work on being balanced in your family relationships.  In other words take lots of time to help your children with their homework and time to listen to your sister in law concerning her needs and gripes and even gossip that she thinks she just has to share with you and even when she seeks agreement and you don't want to agree because it is wrong to spread gossip.  (in my case I just wait till later that day and go to God with it)

Now this is quite difficult to do in a close knit family, because they know so much about us that they can bring up again and again.  My main point here and please believe that I am not judging you on any level, just offering my own experience with the hope that it might help a little; my main point is that you do not have to correct or inform or do anything to keep your family from making mistakes other than to be a loving, patient example.

Being an example can be made even harder, when others already think that we are just acting superior when we stop yelling or stop swearing out loud or become punctual when we never were before.  It can be a real struggle to convince them that we are really interested in their opinions and needs and their work etc etc., but that is what I am suggesting.  Relax and let everyone around us be themselves, no matter how they may misbehave.  We probably should try to remember that God is working on us alone and not on them as far as we know.  With that in mind we can focus on just being the nicest person we know how to be and let everyone else relax too.

Ariel, please know that I realize that these comments may not fit your situation. So use what you can and cast the rest away.

Love and hugs from an old goof.  Indiana bob

[hammerandnails]

Dear Bob,
Thank you so much for your reply.
And, sincerely, it help a lot.
I am the type of person that I have to take control with everything.
I believed that the destiny of the whole world is dependent on me.
Even if God is doing something, I, somehow have to peak to see what he is doing.
But He is smarter than me [daha!] and hid himself real good from me.
Just to teach me not to peak and let go.

             "You have wearied in the greatness of your way; yet said you not, There is no hope..." Isa.57:10

This stems from my childhood. I had a lot of responsibility even then.
I was responsible for the house to be clean, my brothers and sisters to be cared for, grocery shopping,
cooking, wood chopping, make coffee in the morning, and it all started when I was 7.
That was beside my homework etc.

Now, I am becoming more relaxed by the day. Like you said, my responsibility is my family, to spend time with them,
not sharing Christ with them every moment.

You hit the nail in the head!!

Good advise from an old goof!!
Thank you so
In Christ,
Ariel

[aqrinc]

Hi Old Goof  and Ariel,

I hope you allow me to use the information you both put out here. Interesting what you see when reading others posts.
Here are some Scriptures that address how we should handle these situations.

Isaiah 61:1:
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD has anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he has
sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are
bound;

Matthew 11:29:
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and all of you shall find rest unto your souls.

Galatians 6:1:
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, all of you which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness;
considering yourself, lest you also be tempted.

Colossians 3:12:
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;

I Peter 3:4:
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit,
which is in the sight of God of great price.

george.

[hammerandnails]

Dear George,

Few things are more precious that the right word or the right scriptures at the right time!!!!

Thank you so much

In His Love,
Ariel