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[Longhorn]

Im breaching trust of NASA and the security of the entire universe by making this post.  Old Longhorn and my best laying hen (can't reveal her name at present) are aboard the Endeaver Space shuttle about to blast off, T- minus 50 minutes and counting.  Get back to yall when I have clearence.  They are closing the hatch as I secretly type this message.... Some guy in a NASA white jumpsuite just said something about it has to be 2 psi above ambient for secure seal, or something like that.   Get back to yall when we are out of orbit.

Longhorn

p.s.  I will self destruct this message in 3..2..1

[Beloved]

Hey there Mr stowaway....They are going to put you to work, ...don't you know this is not a sight seeeing trip.....there adding a room on to the space station.

Is that all you brought along ......was a chicken...is it alive and you are expecting eggs or is she aleady cooked?

I hope you made a pit stop before entering that thing...plug up your ears the take off is going to be rough.

beloved

 

[Richard D]

Longhorn.

I ‘m wondering if you brought a bottle of BQ sauce with you. If the chicken don’t lay any eggs well…………..you’re a farmer I’m sure you’ll know what to do…….LOL 

                                                 Richard.

[musicman]

Wouldn't do me any good.  I'm waiting for a space flight to take me several thousand light years away from this place.  I can't take it any more.

[Fester]

Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift-off

This is Ground Control to Major Longhorn
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare

“This is Major Longhorn to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do

Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much (she knows!)
Ground Control to Major Longhorn
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Longhorn?
Can you hear me, Major Longhorn?
Can you hear me, Major Longhorn?
Can you hear....

“ am I floating round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do.?

[Longhorn]

Good News Fester

Mission Specialist ( can't reveal or recall his name) just informed me and my chicken ( can't reveal her name) that if we survive this mission, both me and my chicken might actually be younger when (if) we return to earth due to the effect of general relativity of objects in motion.  Ye haw,  we havent completed our mission yet and already my joints feel better. Get back to yall when we dock with the mother ship....  something about a room addition.

Longhorn    Aka......  BT.Com

[aqrinc]

What a space cadet  eerrr Specialist . longhorn i hope you took a pooper scooper  pack for y'alls chicken drop
duty. That ship will be a mess  unless the chicken suit works well in freefall. 

                                                        
                                                        

                                                                                            em rof tiaw

[Beloved]

LongHorn if your hear me.....

NASA astronaut Chris Ferguson commands the seven-member crew, which includes Pilot Eric Boe, Mission Specialists Donald Pettit, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, Steve Bowen, Shane Kimbrough and Sandra Magnus..

The giant orange tank that provided fuel for Endeavour's climb into space is now empty and is jettisoning from the shuttle.
LongHorn  tap three times on the pipes  to let us know that you were not in that part of the ship... if we do not hear form you ....we will inform the critters at your place

As the tank falls away and descends toward Earth, the tank's on-board cameras record the process. About two minutes into flight, the solid rocket boosters propelling Endeavour higher into space have successfully separated and gracefully fallen away. Each booster has a parachute packed in its frustum that will automatically deploy after entering Earth's atmosphere to slow the descent into the ocean. Endeavour has safely attained orbit and NASA mission managers have given the

In Endeavour's payload bay, the Multi-Purpose Logistics Module Leonardo is packed full of about 14,500 pounds of equipment and supplies, making it one of the heaviest modules in shuttle history. (How much do you weigh Longhorn???)

Also included in the payload, are additional sleeping quarters, a second toilet, an exercise device and other household-type equipment.  Your in Luck LongHorn ....Look what God provided for your trip.

The prime objective of the 15-day mission is to prepare the International Space Station to accommodate six members for long-duration stays.
Get your workpants on...

Heads up Long horn, just off the press

 NASA Launch Director Mike Leinbach remarked how pleased he is to celebrate Endeavour's launch, although a minor issue arose during the last few minutes of the countdown. A door in the White Room was found to be unpinned, (they found some chicken foot prints but do not want the world to know) but after discussion with the launch team confirming that it would not affect the safety of the shuttle, the countdown resumed

Good Luck Captain Longhorn and your SpaceChick  ....May the Schwatz be with you

Beloved

[Ninny]

  You are so weird! You and your chicken have fun up there!
Kathy

[Longhorn]

Im in the shuttle potty, have to change my diaper. Iv'e never gone 19,000 mph before.  I think now is a good time to read my flight manual.  Get back to yall later.  Chicken is ok, trying to adjust to weightlessness.  Flight commander seems amussed by a floating New Hampshire Red.

Longhorn.... Aka BT.com

P.S.   Lula, my next door neighbor is trying to take care of the farm while Im serving my country......Good Luck with all that.

[Ninny]

Wow! Longhorn for the first time I am finding that I am at a loss for words, maybe I have a fever! Who would ever have thought that you would make such a sacrifice for your country! Not knowing how your best laying hen would fare on the trip. You could lose her! 

How long are you going to be gone? I hope you packed plenty of diapers! Be careful changing the diapers in zero gravity- it makes me almost glad that I couldn't be there with you!

Happy landings
Kathy

[Beloved]

Kathy, they are not called diapers in outerspace they are

MAG   (maximun absorption garments)

Loghorn did you bring ISDU and your wrist mirror

ISDU is  Nasa talk for   In Suit Drink Bag  You carry your beer with you, sip on it whenever it suits you...he he .

Boy them scientists have thought of everything (the In and Out of space living)

The wrist mirror is so you can keep an eye on the chicken and your own control buttons on your chest.

Here is a picture of space suit with details

http://www.nasa.gov/audience/foreducators/spacesuits/home/clickable_suit.html

Have you gone Ludicorous Speed yet

Beloved

[Ninny]

Oh yes I can see why the MAGs are much better!
Longhorn, are you getting this stuff? Beloved should have been your trainer, dude! She has all the info you need. You don't even need to open that flight manual she has given you all the instructions you will ever  need!

Also, I think George has been arrested for sneaking around the launch pad!

We are all losing our minds, but it beats watching politics on TV!!
Kathy

[Beloved]

POLY-TICKS...phewey  yuky 

Not good for man or dogs, all of washington just bloodsucking arthropods

Just take all of those signs down and remove all those stupid bumper stickers...enough already

No Poly-ticks allowed in outerspace

beloved

[aqrinc]

Nope security got me but they saw the gomers that were chasing longhorn and now are busy trying to catch
the yellow stuff following the capsule in farspace. This is where a Tardis or instantaneous mass interspatial
transporter is far superior to chemical boost systems. Whoops here they come again, i am outta here.                                                         pleh

What a space cadet  eerrr Specialist . longhorn i hope you took a pooper scooper  pack for y'alls chicken drop
duty. That ship will be a mess  unless the chicken suit works well in freefall. 

                                                      
                                                        

                                                                                           em rof tiaw

[Ninny]

Yee Haw!!! I'm going to outerspace, too!!! There ain't no guv'ment  in outerspace! Ok wait George! I'm coming with you! I was going to bust you out of jail,  I'm glad you got away! Don't leave me!!!!!!
Kathy

[Samson]

Good News Fester

Mission Specialist ( can't reveal or recall his name) just informed me and my chicken ( can't reveal her name) that if we survive this mission, both me and my chicken might actually be younger when (if) we return to earth due to the effect of general relativity of objects in motion.  Ye haw,  we havent completed our mission yet and already my joints feel better. Get back to yall when we dock with the mother ship....  something about a room addition.

Longhorn    Aka......  BT.Com

Hey Longhorn,

                    FORGET THE CHICKEN, Are there any Planets out there that sustain life as we know.
                    Oh, excuse me, Major Longhorn. Are there people out there, that don't act like the
                    ones down here.

                    On second thought, I guess we will all have to make the best of it; 

                    Hey Fester, thanks for the Song, that was very clever of you and enjoyable,  .

                                   Oh, by the way Major Longhorn, when do we leave, hopefully before the
                                   first snow. I'm volunteering to be the ship's cook.
                                   Every crew needs a good chef, for the travel.

                                              All Aboard and exit stage left & hurry, Samson.

[Ninny]

Ha!  I figured he's got a still out there on the farm, and he's hidin' from the Revenuers. Who would ever look for him in space? 
"G-men, T-men, Revenuers, too lookin' for the place where he made his brew." ?  Wheww, White Lightnin' 
Ha! gotcha Longhhorn!    By the way are you back? 
Yer friend down here on Earth
Kathy

[ez2u]

LOnghorn  i just read your post and i am wondering  why you would write such stuff?  and i am wondering why anyone would respond to such bazaar conversation.  are you having some mental pressures  can we help you do you need to go to a doctor? 

[Ricky]

Unbelievable, you all should go back and read what you have said, I am not to sure I would take advice from any of you on what the bible says or means. Sound s like it might be just another comic book. I could never make up this kind of fantansy stuff, I don't see the point, none of it is funny, thank God there is only certain people here I read of on scripture. And I am not afraid to say this. Off topic discussions should not be the title of this kind of nonsense. I have a better one.
  Ricky