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Author Topic: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"  (Read 3178 times)

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Jody Edwards

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Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« on: November 21, 2008, 02:05:54 PM »

My wife and I have been engaged in a discussion on how to apply Paul's admonition to not become "unequally yoked".  Our discussion is centered around "close friendships" and "home school groups".

1)  My wife maintains a close friendship with a "carnal believer" girlfriend that she had before we were called out of the harlot church system 3 years ago.  She was a friend of hers in a little bible study group back then.  When we decided to leave the harlot church system, my wife withdrew from the bible study but still maintains a close friendship with that one lady.  Can anyone advise us to whether that relationship is appropriate?

2)  A couple of years ago, we started home schooling our 3 boys.  There were two home school groups in the area that we had a choice of joining.  One was "Christian" and one was "non-Christian".  We new the Christian group's belief were no different than the harlot church that we left so we decided to join the non-Christian group.  There are many group activities each week with that home school group and we usually participate in them.  As a result, we have become friends with some of the families in the group who are unbelievers, my wife more so than me.  Can anyone advise us on this relationship as to whether or not it is appropriate?

I am feeling convicted on both counts above but my wife is not.  I would appreciate any advice as to what we should do.  My wife is willing to submit to my decision but since it would affect her life in such a large way, I want to make sure that the course of action that I take is scriptural.  Any scriptural insight that anyone can give me in these matters will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Jody Edwards
     
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chuckt

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2008, 02:21:50 PM »

My wife and I have been engaged in a discussion on how to apply Paul's admonition to not become "unequally yoked".  Our discussion is centered around "close friendships" and "home school groups".

1)  My wife maintains a close friendship with a "carnal believer" girlfriend that she had before we were called out of the harlot church system 3 years ago.  She was a friend of hers in a little bible study group back then.  When we decided to leave the harlot church system, my wife withdrew from the bible study but still maintains a close friendship with that one lady.  Can anyone advise us to whether that relationship is appropriate?

2)  A couple of years ago, we started home schooling our 3 boys.  There were two home school groups in the area that we had a choice of joining.  One was "Christian" and one was "non-Christian".  We new the Christian group's belief were no different than the harlot church that we left so we decided to join the non-Christian group.  There are many group activities each week with that home school group and we usually participate in them.  As a result, we have become friends with some of the families in the group who are unbelievers, my wife more so than me.  Can anyone advise us on this relationship as to whether or not it is appropriate?

I am feeling convicted on both counts above but my wife is not.  I would appreciate any advice as to what we should do.  My wife is willing to submit to my decision but since it would affect her life in such a large way, I want to make sure that the course of action that I take is scriptural.  Any scriptural insight that anyone can give me in these matters will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Jody Edwards
     


here is an article from ray:

http://bible-truths.com/yoked.htm

and as for unbelievers and the like:

1Cr 5:9 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:


 1Cr 5:10 Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world

its the ones calling themselves christians that boast of sin and have no shame you need to stay away from  :'(


The unbeleiving world needs your light to shine  ;)

were would Jesus Go??

God bless
chuckt

« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 02:23:54 PM by chuckt »
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mharrell08

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2008, 02:37:11 PM »

My wife and I have been engaged in a discussion on how to apply Paul's admonition to not become "unequally yoked".  Our discussion is centered around "close friendships" and "home school groups".

1)  My wife maintains a close friendship with a "carnal believer" girlfriend that she had before we were called out of the harlot church system 3 years ago.  She was a friend of hers in a little bible study group back then.  When we decided to leave the harlot church system, my wife withdrew from the bible study but still maintains a close friendship with that one lady.  Can anyone advise us to whether that relationship is appropriate?

2)  A couple of years ago, we started home schooling our 3 boys.  There were two home school groups in the area that we had a choice of joining.  One was "Christian" and one was "non-Christian".  We new the Christian group's belief were no different than the harlot church that we left so we decided to join the non-Christian group.  There are many group activities each week with that home school group and we usually participate in them.  As a result, we have become friends with some of the families in the group who are unbelievers, my wife more so than me.  Can anyone advise us on this relationship as to whether or not it is appropriate?

I am feeling convicted on both counts above but my wife is not.  I would appreciate any advice as to what we should do.  My wife is willing to submit to my decision but since it would affect her life in such a large way, I want to make sure that the course of action that I take is scriptural.  Any scriptural insight that anyone can give me in these matters will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Jody Edwards


Hello Jody,

As Paul states in the scriptures, conversing with unbelievers is expected in this world. So what is it about both relationships that you find inappropriate?


Marques
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Beloved

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #3 on: November 21, 2008, 02:48:54 PM »

This is from the Analytical literal translation

(1Co 5:11)  But now, I wrote to you* not to be associating with anyone being named a brother if he is a sexual sinner or covetous or an idolater or a slanderer [or, an abusive person] or a drunkard or a swindler, not even to eat with such a person.

(1Co 5:12)  For what [is it] to me to also judge the ones outside? You* judge the ones within, do you* not?

(1Co 5:13)  But God judges the ones outside. "And you* will expel the evil [one] from among yourselves." [Deut 17:7; 19:19; 22:21,24; 24:7]

You may have a "Clinton"  problem...what exactly do you mean by "associate"

...if it is normal social human activities (cooking cleaning no religious classes etc) then I see no problem....but to let them into "your religious house", either by praying or discussing your beliefs....that is wrong.....Christ said ....come out and that means stay out...no looking back.....

Jesus and the apostles interacted with the world...Paul went to all of the capitol/major cities, the cross roads where people congrated...he went there to teach...those that were drawn to Christ ...he shared spiritual food with...the others only physical food.

it does not sound like spiritual food will be found in either camp...and the few are scattered...so a ray would say...just 'do what is right'...represent Christ to all

beloved
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OBrenda

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #4 on: November 21, 2008, 03:13:54 PM »

Hi Jody,

Speaking as my understanding, when the scriptures speak about being "Yoked" it means to be bonded together for a time for a task, job, or mission like plowing a field.

When the field has been plowed & worked, off comes the yoke and as far as I know it doesn't say anything about hanging out at the barn eating some hay with a bunch of the the other animals.

Keeping in mind some exceptions ...I'm not about to throw my pearls to the swine, or argue and debate with the donkey!

So I tend to lean torwards believing Julie having the maturity to deal with her friendship with the woman to the harlot church on that level, (hanging out & eating Hay) so long as it remains respectful to where Julie is with her beliefs.  They could not put themselves in a position to "Plow God's Field" together, because they are not like minded.

Home schooling, a bit more tricky but same wisdom, I'd probably feel better with non Christian groups and would be clear about the boundaries. We are to Live in the World, but we are not of he world.  We are to be a light, and not cover it up with a bowl (isolate).

I know when I'm in a group of people (or one) that is contrary to my spirit.  They attack, demean, degrade and throw sarcastic remarks at my character and beliefs.  They are not my friends, (but sometimes family) and I pray for them and avoid them as God allows me.  As you mentioned, even you and your wife don't see exactly the same, even more so is our walk with others.

Sounds like you enjoy this group, I imagine if they are home schooling they care deeply for their kids education?  What is your concern & what any more harm can they be than the usual strife that even we have with each other here?

Hope this helps, I look forward to what others may share,

Your Sister,
Brenda
« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 03:16:30 PM by OBrenda »
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Craig

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #5 on: November 21, 2008, 03:24:20 PM »

You've been shown a glimpse of God's wonderful truths, you've been dragged out of babylon and freed from the chains of its law and bondage.  Why put yourself back under bondage? 

Of course be friends we all need friends.  If they are still in church show them a sermon, they've already heard plenty.  If they are not believers, be a light.

Craig
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Ninny

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #6 on: November 21, 2008, 04:16:51 PM »

Good advice Craig!
My sons used to sing a song when they were little kids:
"Do you know O Christian, you're a sermon in shoes? etc. Jesus calls upon you to spread the Gospel news so live it and give it, and know it and show it, a sermon in shoes!

That tells us what we should be to those around us! We can have friendships that don't have to be intimate, you don't have to be "best friends" and  it's just  hogwash to think you have to sit around and argue about Church or religion  :P no you live out the light that is in you, God is in the business of doing everything else! Oh well that's just my opinion. Many people live their lives just fine without my opinions! ;)
Kathy :D
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Jody Edwards

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #7 on: November 21, 2008, 04:51:27 PM »

This is Jody.  Thanks for all the input.  I understand what everyone is saying and I agree to some extent.  My conviction that I am feeling is coming mainly from these two scriptures:

2Cor 6:14-18  Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?  What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?  What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.  Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."

James 4:4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.

Since righteousness does not have anything in common with wickedness and light cannot fellowship with darkness and we are not to have friendship with the world and we are to come out from them (unbelievers) and be separate, then how can I have a personal relationship with an unbeliever and remain true to these scriptures?  Are these scriptures only speaking of being separate from the an unbelievers' works but not separate from them?  I agree that we all have occassions in which we associate with unbelievers (i.e. go to dinner when invited, be in a class together, work together, etc.) but these will not become ongoing personal relationships for me since I do not have anything in common with them.  My ongoing personal relationships are with my brothers & sisters in Christ.  This is really not of my own choosing as much as it is because I have nothing in common with them in which to develop a personal relationship.  For me, going beyond a casual relationship with an unbeliever will not happen since we are fundmentally different.  Now if the unbeliever is interested in my faith, I would spend all day with them in discussions about it.  From there, if he is receptive, a personal relationship can begin to develop.  

So from what I said above, is membership in an unbelieving home school group appropriate?  What fellowship does light have with darkness?  Am I being "separate" or am I being "yoked together" by being in this group?  
Thanks,
Jody      

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Richard D

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #8 on: November 21, 2008, 06:51:54 PM »

Hello Jody.

The scriptures you have listed appear to be self-evident in their meaning. But where on earth does everyone believe the truth that you could flee to?

This is just my opinion but you say both home school groups seem to be the same as you said (We new the Christian group's belief were no different than the harlot church)

The public schools I believe will not have anything to do with Christianity in most states if not all.

We already know that many are called but few are chosen and that most of humanity will respond to God after the white thrown judgment.

I would say your better off staying with an unbelieving home school group because here your children wonít be indoctrinated with a false belief system and would not learn any doctrine from this home school group.

Now you are free to teach your children Godís truths without them having to sort between what you teach them and what they would learn from a religious home school group.

One cannot run from the world in which we live in, we may be in the world but not apart of the world, meaning I donít agree with the social, economic and political beliefs systems of this world but non believers are all around me and how about all those whom say they believe in God but not rightly.

Having said these things my advise to you my friend is keep your wife happy and teach your own children Godís truth because our children are our responsibility and not anotherís. .

This is just my opinion, and is what I would do. God has all things under control.
I hope this is of help to you my friend.  :)



                                          In Godís Love. Richard.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2008, 06:54:02 PM by Richard D »
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Kat

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #9 on: November 22, 2008, 12:23:40 AM »


Hi Jody,

I home schooled my girls and I know that those groups can be a big help.  I think those weekly activities are really good, because you have the group learning experiences they offer.  I'm thinking if this is your children's only outside source of 'supervised' worldly contact, then it is worth it for the good they get out of it.  Just maybe cut out the contact outside the meetings.  But here is an email you may want to consider.

http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,1175.0.html -----

 Ray Ė Thank you for clarifying many points regarding the scriptures.  Can a person be a Christian and still join a Masonic Lodge for social and charitable purposes?  Thanks.  I look forward to your reply.

     
    Dear Robert:
    I don't think so. You could say the same thing about being a member of a church or almost any other organization. If you are in it, your heart will be in it, and you will have at least one foot in the world, whereas God tells us to come out of this world.

    God be with you,

    Ray


Here is an excerpt from the Bible study transcript on 'Love.'  This too might be of some help with your situation.

http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3719.0.html ---------

He said you love God (same Greek word agape/agapao), agape your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and might. 

Agapao your neighbor as yourself... whoops what happened there?  What happened there, that's different?

Let's assume you have nice neighbors, I have nice neighbors.  When we moved here our neighbors brought us a big bowl of cookies and we share cups of sugar with our next door neighbor over here, Tammy. 

But you could have a neighbor who is a wife beating, drug dealing, God hating, you know, monster for a neighbor.  Now, does God want you or tell you, that you have to love that wife beating, drug dealing monster, with all your heart, with all your mind and soul, does He tell us that?  NO!  But I can see some self-righteous preacher giving a sermon saying, 'well yes you have to do this.'  No you don't.

'Well, how are you suppose to love your neighbor?'  As yourself!  You put yourself in the equation.

'Oh well, I wish my neighbor would give me a million dollars.'  Well then you have to give your neighbor a million dollars...  You got to love them as yourself.  But I don't expect my neighbor to give me million dollars or even ten dollars.  And for that reason I'm not going over this afternoon and give him ten dollars.  Can't you see that.

But I might want to go over there and borrow his ladder, because I don't have a long ladder.  Just like he comes over here and borrows some of my electrical drill stuff.  That's good, it's good we do that.  But if you don't know what your talking about, you can get stupid with this.

Now then, do you run into contradictions in 2 Corinthians?

2Cor 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
v. 15  What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?
v. 16  What agreement has the temple of God with idols?"

People always use this as referring to a wedding.  "Don't be unequally yoked" together with somebody who doesn't believe in God.  Well, that would fit.  But that's not what it's talking about.  That's just one application of it, don't be unequally yoked together with people like this.

Well, my next door neighbor, is not a wife beating, drug dealing, you know, monster.  So I can be yoked together with him, right.  No!  He doesn't believe these truths.

My neighbor told me one day, if he caught, a particular race of people, stealing something... how he would dismantle their body with a baseball bat.  Now I thought whoa, this man could get to be a little rough, you know, if he just caught someone in his backyard.  That's not me.  I don't think like that.  I'm not going to be yoked to that.  So we don't go out together.  No, we don't go out to bars together or out to dinner together.  You know, I don't get into his crowd.  I have no intention of going out with him, why?  Don't be unequally yoked together! 
---------------------------------------------------------

mercy, peace and love
Kat

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Linny

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Re: Need help on applying "unequally yoked"
« Reply #10 on: November 22, 2008, 01:01:31 AM »

Hi Jody,

I agree with Craig. Why be in bondage?

We homeschool and belong to a Christian homeschool group. Why? Because although these people have not had their eyes opened to the full truth of the gospel, they love Jesus as best as He has allowed them to and my children are hanging around with kids who love Jesus and are good, kind, loving, well behaved kids.

They learn the truth from me and recognize the lies when they hear them. I suspect that one day, they will be called to share with some of their friends.

When they hit JR and SR high, they choose the classes they take so they won't take any religious classes there.

I haven't lost any of my friends. I do not discuss my new beliefs with them (unless asked a question) and I do not worship with them. I enjoy their company and I love them. I have more in common with them than with a nonbeliever in how I raise my kids, treat my husband, live my life, etc.

If God should tell me to speak to them, I will. If they should ask me a question, I will answer.

I do not want to be a recluse. I love what I am learning and I am trying to learn it well enough to share it with confidence when I am called to do so. If I lose a friendship after that, I know it will be God's will. But God will call those who are already believers (like we were) and those who are not, to the truth. I imagine I will be called to speak truth to people from both groups so in order to do so, I have to be "friendly" to all people.

My question to you is, when choosing a Coop, you chose a non-Christian one over the Christian one.
If you are trying to be equally yoked, why would the non-Christian one be closer to your beliefs?
No judgement, I am just curious. We chose ours before we learned these truths and its mission statement does not go against our beliefs at all so I saw no need, so far, to leave it. That may change some day, I will be open to that if need be.

This is just how we have dealt with all this new information.  ;D

Lin


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