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A Few From Jerry......

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hillsbororiver:
Some Quotes From Jerry Seinfeld:

Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

I have a friend who’s collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He’s down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I’m sure they’d give him a raise.

To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later."

mharrell08:

--- Quote from: hillsbororiver on December 02, 2008, 06:03:06 AM ---Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

--- End quote ---

Too funny...this one made me laugh out loud.  :D

I love Seinfeld...that show always has me cracking up.

George: Vandalay Industries!!!! Say Vandalay Industries!!!!! (George then falls on the floor in his briefs...)
Jerry: And you want to be my latex salesmen?


Marques

hillsbororiver:

--- Quote from: mharrell08 on December 02, 2008, 06:17:57 AM ---
George: Vandalay Industries!!!! Say Vandalay Industries!!!!! (George then falls on the floor in his briefs...)
Jerry: And you want to be my latex salesmen?

Marques


--- End quote ---

Hi Marques,

One of my all time favorite shows, the scene you mentioned above is also one of my very favorites. Kramer answering the phone screws up George's cover and George hearing this runs out of the bathroom in his boxer shorts, pants down to his knees tripping to the floor just as Jerry walks back into his apartment, eyeing the scene he smiles and asks George; "And you want to be my latex salesmen?"

Priceless  ;D

Anyone who has not seen this probably thinks we are nuts!

Peace,

Joe 

Akira329:
I like the episode when thier all on trial and all the people who's lives they've ruined are there.
That was funny!

Antaiwan

OBrenda:
Don't forget the Soup Nazi!

 ;D ;D
Brenda

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