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self-control

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jennie:
Hey Ya'll,
I am coming for help from those far wiser and stronger than I am. I am struggling against saying something to someone who, with their words. hurt my family. I have always struggled with "payback" and thought I was controlling it okay but today... not so much. I am sick inside from fighting against my natural inclinations. I could say something that would blow this person's world apart . The info. I have , I have had for 5 years now and I thought I had moved past it but now I see that I haven't. I am feeling like a huge disappointment to God because I haven't beaten this thing yet. Any words of wisdom on this one? I am ashamed to even confess this dark place in my myself to you good people. Thanks, Jennie

Jackie Lee:
I sure understand, sometimes things build up for a long period then it is hard to control our tongues.
I thought I would explode constantly hearing my mother tell me I was too skinny too pale.
I was infuriated after hearing this daily, I thought I would say something I would regret....So I prayed hard, this thought came to my mind.
The thought was, I don't talk about others weight or skin color so from now on this subject is off limits.
I told my sister and mother this and I was so glad I didn't explode.
They accepted my answer with respect and now don't say nothing.
So my thoughts would be pray hard before you say something you will regret later.
You will be glad you did. :)

jennie:
You have the same weight problem as me! I can't gain any!
Anyway back to the subject... I will pray and think hard on this. I don't want to hurt this person's spouse or children with the info. I have. They are too precious for that and it's not their faults. Please pray for me that the part of me that James speaks of doesn't take control.

Jackie Lee:
Hi Jennie I will pray,  I would not want to be responsible for hurting anyone.
When you pray earnestly over things such as this God always comes through.

Marlene:
Hi Jennie, I have suffered 17 years with a neighbor, who has done all kinds of things to me .  I believe the hardest time is  when it comes unexpectally. That, is the key to me. I don't know how long this has been going on that she has been hurting you and your family. But, when they surprise you and catch you off your guard is hard. The Lord has been teaching me patience with this person for 17 years. She is again trying to get back into my life.I will speak to her and treat her nice. But, there are some things I have to limit. Not, giving her answers to questions that are none of her business is how I am handling it now.

I love her, but she is what she is for now. In order to keep peace and I believe that is what God wants I am trying to set limits. I don't know your situation with this person. Like Jackie, pray. I took three days the time before last to talk to her. I waited till I knew I had control.

I looked up these verses Chapter 12 verse 18 If it be possible, as  much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Verse 19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. The time before this last episode I told her if we could not live in peace we should stay away from each other. She said, she was sorry , so I forgave her.
 
The last time she took one of her funny moods and asked for every gift she ever gave my Husband and Me over the years back. We gave them to her. We never asked for anything back. She never called for almost two weeks. She found out she has some cancer in her neck and told my husband and I felt bad for her. I called her and she told me she is sorry. But, I still know it will happen again if we do not keep our distance. Yes, it is hard to handle. God gives us time and is not upset with you. But,  the fact you feel bad about wanting to shows you take this serious.

I care about my family. I will  never let her feel she can become that close again, but I will treat her well.

But, God also knows there are some personalities we could never get along with. I will keep my distance for peace. I owe it to my family and myself. Not, sure what realationship this person has with you. But, God is teaching you patience. He will help you. Like Jackie says prayer is best. I know, for me the shock is the hardest time. I praise God that he has enabled me to deal with this person.

In His Love,
Marlene

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