I can relate with your problems. It is hard to appreciate that what is happening is God’s Will when your life seems to be falling apart.
One year ago I found myself totally out of money ( I was unemployed for quite some time and could not understand my state). I literally was down to a few hundred dollars. My lease was ending and I had no place to go. I had no family to help me out. I also had a few medical problems and no medical insurance.
I too had just had my eyes opened to God’s truth. Because of his revelation, I realized that had to put my profession on God’s altar and accept the fact that I would accept what God was going to provide even if that meant the worse scenario. It was extremely stressful.
Every day I was exhausted trying to find a job. I had applied to so many positions where I was more than qualified and did not get any of them. Every night I had to deal with immense fear. Then I talked with a friend and he told me God has no Plan
B and to stop trying on my own and TRUST Him only.
This was very hard because as a physician I was used to taking control and had been providing for myself all of my life (or at least I had thought I was).
When Katrina hit I was in the process of packing and feeling very overwhelmed but I decided to volunteer my services. During that time a job presented it self when I was not looking for it. It wasn’t anything special but it certainly was a
great blessing. God provide many other little blessings.
Now I am seeing that possessions, titles and fame are all meaningless. I am now getting rid of all of the excesses and downsizing my life. I want to be ready for God when He shows me the next step.
The one thing about being down at the bottom is that there is little that can be taken from you. I do not want to give any financial advice because I do not know your situation. I am not sure of what your specific needs are right now. One thing that is very different in your situation is having two children to support. Having two children makes your plight even more difficult but at their ages they will want to help you.
My favorite scripture after the fact is:
(
Psa 68:19 KJV+) Blessed1288 be the Lord,136 who daily3117, 3117 loadeth6006 us with benefits, even the God410 of our salvation.3444 Selah.5542Now I see that God loads us daily with things
meant for our salvation. The loads are not always the “benefits� that the carnal christians tend to always rely on. Selah means “ think about this� (it is the reason for the pause in the singing)
Take this time to immerse yourself in His Word. He does have things to show you.
(
Pro 25:2 CLV) It is the glory of Elohim to conceal a matter, And the glory of kings to investigate a matter."I pray : Light my candle while I read, to keep my heart from going blind. Enlarge my vision to behold the wonders has wrought from old.
For me the Bible has become more and more crystal clear than I ever imagined.
Beloved