About three years ago I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). It hits more women than men, but when it hits men, it tends to hit harder. It's certainly given me some challenges.
Hearing that I had an incurable disease, and being suddenly almost unable to talk, write, or walk, and being told that someday I may NOT be able to do those things, was quite a blow. It didn't help, either, that the sensations ranged from numbness, to pain, but mostly feelings that words cannot even describe. The doctor's tests hurt too - the spinal tap and such. For weeks I was on steroids to help calm the exaberation, which brought on even more symptoms, almost as unpleasant as what they were meant to help with.
BUT, GOD HAD JUST PREPARED ME FOR SUCH NEWS! He had only recently given me a glimpse of His true sovereignty and how to "Pray by God's Rules" as Ray says. I didn't really "get it" then, but I got enough that I was able to trust God and go with His flow.
My depression and disbelief lasted about 3 days. God had arranged for me to have this disease. I did not know why, but I was almost excited to see what would come of it! A new ministry perhaps? I prayed for Him to work on and in me, rather than Him to work on the disease.
Please don't think that I'm proud or arrogant about my "superior spirituality." It's just that God helped me so much when this happened, it was amazing, and His grace continues to get me through regular exaberations of the disease. Understanding His sovereignty and purpose because of Bible-Truths.com so much better now than then really helps too. I CAN'T imagine living with this any other way. I shudder even to try.
I have to imagine that others with even worse conditions than I have, such as Ray and some I know on this forum, experience the same thing.
Indeed, as Ray's said about disease and sickness, God uses it to keep us humble. My disease comes and goes, but not all the way. Each time, it leaves me a little more permanently disabled than before. Being a 39 year old man with a walker is certainly humbling. But, I still have some good days/weeks too, where I can even put aside my cane for awhile. Now, these are blessings, where I never saw "blessings" in such mundane activities before.
At the time I was diagnosed, I was still in my last and final church - a "Full Gospel" one that seemed to follow every wind of doctrine except for true ones. I was a nobody - no longer a pastor or an elder. God had already pulled me most of the way out of Mystery Babylon by then. These guys didn't get it at all, and neither did Christian friends and family. All they wanted to pray for was healing. BUT I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO TAKE IT AWAY. Or rather, I didn't want Him to take it away except when He was ready. This was a really big point of contention. I'd tell them to not pray for me that way, and they'd essentially look at me fondly, pat my head, and do it anyway.
I still face this with my friends and family. They activate a prayer chain when my job is in jeopardy, or my MS flairs up, or whatever. They want God to change what He's doing, but it seems SO inappropriate to me. All I feel like praying anymore is thanking God for what I have, for God to work His Will in me and others, to give me more understanding, and just to chat.
I don't know if this helps anyone, and I'm not really asking any questions. I think I'm just in my "honeymoon" phase on these forums, getting to talk about things I've been unable to talk about for so long. Thank you for that opportunity.
Steve
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Topic: Suffering and Prayer - to Judith and others (Read 4376 times)