Thanks all, a lot of good insight here.
Marques,
Just you thinking about this and wanting to change is a sign that Christ is working in you towards repentance. Those that Christ is not working in have no time to think whether or not they are lusting after money...they're too busy lusting after money.
That really helped me. That's what I needed to hear, so thanks for the edification, what a lift that was.
Wow, so much to talk about...
Maybe I should further clarify what I mean by "feeling spiritual." It's more like, "close to God." I dont mean puffed up or in an arogant way. It's that "peacefulness" when praying, or when you're just spending time with God and a wave of "everything is ok between you and your God" comes over you. (Not that He's done with me, but I know He loves me) At times, that peacefulness is what is missing...
I know that judgement begins with the house of God. That means me, He's working in me to make me more Christ-like, burning out the carnal, one thing at a time. Like when the holy spirit nudged me about how I was also lusting after "more money," so I could meet my bills. I was reminded "not to worry about anything," but I realized I was doing just that. Trying hard to figure out what else "I" could do to come up with more cash, etc. It was consuming me. That had to stop.
Since I started reading and re-rereading Ray's teachings, God is on my mind, almost constantly. I have such a burning desire to learn more, to grow in Him. There are times though, when that burning desire is what is missing. That's when I get worried that I'm 'thorny ground.' Sometimes I find myself crying out to God, "Don't stop working on me!" Kinda scarry. I want more than anything to please Him, to be found "acceptable."
Aqr, thanks too for your thoughts. I too have had the thought that there is no God. Just having that thought scares me,,,, even admitting that I've had that thought is hard to do. I think, "Where did THAT come from." After seeing your post I felt better, maybe I'm not the only one after all.
Patrick, thanks for posting what Ray had to say.
And the rest of you, I dont have time to say thanks to each of you individually so please consider yourself thanked,
Its nice to know I'm growing, changing, and that He put that desire in me. What a God we serve!
Thanks again, all.
Joe