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[lferretj]

Well I thought I'd share what happened last night and ask if any have advice to give.  Well under my own selfish pride I thought that I could continue to go to my Bible Study and nothing would change even with the new knowledge I have now.  Anyway I went and it started off good, the lesson was on obedience to God and all was well until we got off on the topic of Hell. Now I don't know if I did the right thing or not but I kept my mouth shut cause I didn't feel the Lord was telling me it was the time to share my new found insights.  However it broke my heart to hear that my friends daughter had been reading the Bible to the neighbor girl.  The neighbor proffesed a belief in Jesus but was scared that her parents were going to Hell and didn't know what to do about it, keep in mind she's only in the second grade.  I really didn't know what to say and some others were mockingly making fun of the parents going to Hell.  All I know now is that I don't think I can go back which saddens me.  I really like these people, and they do seem genuine just misinformed like I used to be. Anyway my question is how to you gracefully stop going.  I guess I'm wondering if I should just say I'm not going anymore or tell them a little more about why I don't feel comfortable in that group anymore.  I know it's silly but I don't want to lose their friendship, I don't have a lot of friends, well they are my only friends local.  Please just pray it all works out for good by God's will. Thanks
lferretj

[deftarchangel]

That's a tough spot.  Though I'm hardly one to pass on any advice, I can only envision what I would do were I in your shoes.  I think I'd probably tell my friends that I was looking to take an indefinite break from the Bible studies to do my own research and Biblical studies.  If they were to start asking questions, I guess I would have no choice but to answer them as honestly as I can, and let the Lord guide me on how much to reveal, and when. 

Unfortunately, part of the process of learning truths is that it sometimes alienates you from those that are very close to you (ie. family, friends, etc.), and can sometimes make you feel segregated from the rest of the world.  I myself just moved here to a new city, and I haven't made any real friends or contacts, or had a chance to fellowship with anyone.  All I can do is continue to study on my own, using resources from the net.  Had I been just a 'regular' Christian, I could have gone to one of the myriad of massive churches that are within walking distance to where I live, and become part of a larger community.  But as it stands right now, I don't feel drawn to any of them in the slightest, and that unfortunately means that I have to continue to walk on my own.

Even having said that, a pen-pal that I made in Toronto is coming by tomorrow to spend the day with me.  She's very much still caught up in the ways of mainstream Christianity, and I seriously wonder if she's going to start questioning me about my beliefs.  I too am hesitant to alienate her, since she's been the only real friend that I've had the opportunity to hang around with since moving here.  But I will let the Lord guide me on that one, and whatever happens....happens. 

On the positive side, perhaps this may provide an opportunity for some of your friends to learn these truths just as you did.  I don't doubt that a lot of Christians still aren't 100 % comfortable with the idea of an eternal hell and God sending His creation there, but that perhaps they just haven't been made aware of an alternative answer to that doctrine, or they're just a bit timid to speak up for fear of being made fun of or looking foolish.  Again, it's all in the Lord's hands as to what His plan is for you and your friends.

Incidentally, did you try finding like-minded believers in your area using the Bible-Truths forum?  There seems to be believers from all parts of the world, and you may be able to find and develop new friendships that will encourage and strengthen you as you walk along this path of truth (why didn’t I think of doing that for myself???   ……..Sigh!  ).

Anyways, as you said, the Lord will work everything out for the greater good.  You'll just have to trust Him with it (easier said than done, I know).  I’ll be sure to keep your situation in my prayers.

Kind regards,

Rob

[Ninny]

Hey there lferretj!
Losing friends because you leave a church isn't the end of the world! I am very sociable and outgoing,but when I left the church I had been in I lost some friends I had had for 25 years! They come around for me in times of need, but as far as being close now, we are not when before we took care of each other and even had church in our homes together! God takes you places and teaches you things! All I can say is hang in there and don't get discouraged, God uses all of our experiences to get through to us! He's still working, no telling what will be in the next few years, we may have to learn to be alone and without friends and family, so we may be in practice! Besides, the best way to cleanse yourself of the old junk is to fast a little, right? Maybe that involves more than food!
Hope you do find some friends and fellowship here!
Kathy

[lferretj]

Thank you for your encouragment it's just what I needed. I do have some good news though!  What do you know my boss is a fellow believer, i vented all my frustrations and couldn't believe it.  I knew God put me in this job for a reason and I believe now it was so He could reveal more of his understanding to me.  I'm taken aback by the path he put me on, to provide a job when I needed it almost two years ago, give me a gracious boss, lead me to bible-truths, and now I find out my boss is on the same page.  How amazing is our God!
   I'd like to write a testimony to the grace and guiding power of our God.  I grew up in a Christian home, went to church and grew up.  My home was very spiritually oppresive, however, and I didn't feel the need to search on my own.  Then God led me to the most wonderful man who would become my future husband.  I was close to graduating from College and as I rode the bus many times I sat next to a lady who happened to be the wife of my future boss.  She encouraged me to apply for a seasonal position at a Hatchery.  I did and got the job.  It just so happpened that my future husband worked at the same Hatchery.  While we dated, my seasonal position expired and I needed a new job.  I went to a real estate investing seminar and out of the blue my now current boss offered me a job.  He hired me on the spot and this job led me to bible-truths and I'm forever grateful.  Who da thunk that looking back on my life that the Spirit would have ever led me here, now writing you as encouragement.  I just want to encourage people to let the Spirit guide you and follow His lead, it has taken me places I never thought I would be.
     Thanks
       lferretj

[smeacham]

God's taken me through many churches over the years, until He finally took me for Himself.  I have been in maybe a dozen churches (total guess, I didn't even bother to count) in the last 25 years.

I truly miss only one of the pastors, who I believe got some of these truths way before I did, but wasn't able to really express them because of the Calvary Chapel leadership.

As for friends I had in those churches, I've kept friends with maybe half a dozen family units and individuals.  They accept that God is doing stuff in me that they may not understand, but they're ok with that.  These six a fraction of those that I would have called friends at the time, but you know what?  They're the ones that both cared and didn't judge unjustly.  What more can I ask for?

I hope that you are as blessed.