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[lovepeace]

I don't know if this is the right place to go to for what has been bothering me lately, but i will give it a try.

For the past couple weeks i have been questioning  some things.  Mainly what i want and don't want in my life.
School can be complicating and definetly stressful.  It is not easy to keep up with everything, but I am keeping up pretty well.
But it is not easy. 

Every Thursday I go out with my best friend and we have a blast! 
I cannot remember the last time I have had so much fun just going out and playing some pool.
When I go out I have so much fun, but during these nights out I run into people who apparently pretend to be my friend etc.
Then, behind my back, go and tell others that I lie, cheat, am a bad person, I am just drama, I am not worth being friends with.  The list goes on and on.  It can be really hurtful, but I do my best not to let it get to me because I know these people have nothing better to do then talk badly about me.  Or maybe they are jealous of things I have and they don't.
I enjoy going out with friends and having a good time, but my best friend has been depressed lately as well.
It is like she is a different person and it is all because of a boy.  A guy that is truly not worth her time.
I do my best to comfort her and tell her how I feel about her situation and give her the best advice.
She loves the advice I give her, but it seems that she keeps falling half way up the stairs.
I catch her when she falls but I don't think any guy is worth being depressed over and not act your age in a sense.
She is only 20 years old, a year younger then me, and she is acting like she is in her 30's or 40's.
It can be aggravating and annoying sometimes.
Then when we are out she asks me why I am with my boyfriend.
I never have to really think about why.  My response is always, "because i love him."
She always say,"That's it?"
Well, what else is there? 
All the little details such as he makes me laugh etc. is included in the word love.
She is not a fan of my response and I don't think she ever will be.

Now, ever since she has been giving me a hard time about my boyfriend she has got me thinking of my life.
About what I want out of life.  Sometimes I just think I am getting nowhere.
I go to school 4 days a week and take 4 classes and I study very hard.
But what am I going to with it? I have such a long time until I graduate.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and I am happy being with him.
I don't question our relationship in any way.
Just wondering what relationships are all about.
Why do people get in a relationship with one another and then it ends?
Or why do they stay together?
In one of my favorite quotes

"I don't want to kiss a lot of frogs to find my prince."

Why do people kiss a lot of frogs?
What is the point?
Especially when the relationship only lasts for 3 months or less.
Some people say that it is because you learn something from them, they make you the person you are today...ya I can see how thats true 100%.

I believe that people do not have free will and that a person cannot help who they love and/or fall in love with.
I cannot help but love my boyfriend for who he is and what he does for me not only physically but emotionally.
I guess I just do not understand why God puts certain people together.
My boyfriend and I are total opposites.
He likes relaxing nights in and I love exciting/adventurous nights out.
He has changed my life in many ways, good ways.
So why is it him?  I am very glad it is him of course.  I love him with all my heart.
And I know he loves me more then anything.

I guess all this is about me and my problems with why certain people are with other certain people.
I have a guess that maybe it is because we don't have free will, which means we don't have a choice on who we fall in love with.
And maybe thats the answer to my entire post, but I would like some other opinions or what you think about love, and maybe what the point of love is.
I love being in love with my boyfriend, but why is love so strong?

Someone once told me that:

"Love is stronger then gravity. Some would say the strongest force on earth."

I believe that quote is one of the most honest quotes I have ever heard.
So I thought I'd share it with you.

Well...if you have anything to say then I would love to hear it.

-Chanelle 

[Ninny]

Hey there Chanelle!
It sounds like your best friend gets better from you than she gives! You are her friend, maybe you shouldn't keep on picking her up! Being someone's friend doesn't always mean running to catch her each time she stumbles, how will she learn to pick herself up if you aren't there? Sometimes people need to "lean on their own lunch" as the saying goes! She needs to find her own strength in other words!  You will find yourself stuck with a helpless friend if you don't watch out.

She should be happy that you have found love. It just shows immaturity on her part. It takes a lot of living to get down the road to maturity. It seems to me that maybe you are "growing up", but your friend is not!
What I mean is, you are thinking towards your future by asking yourself questions like, "What is all this leading to? What am I working toward? What do I want from life? " These other "friends" are not really friends at all, they are just acquaintances that don't care about you. There comes a time when you have to weed out some of the things in your life. It's like Spring Cleaning! It may mean picking a new set of friends! It's nice to have friends, good ones that you can count on, but remember only one friend "sticketh closer than a brother" and that's Jesus! So the beginning of your answer should be to look for your friend Jesus. He understands everything that you don't!

Now I know that this may not be the help you're seeking, but you need someone you trust to help you sort it all out. Someone who is just willing to listen and give you advice when you ask. Like your Grandmother or your mom or a trusted aunt. Or anyone you know who will not betray your trust.

I wish I had some tidbits of wisdom to give you, but this is all I have!
Don't hurry your life too much. Take time to savor each moment because life is short and one day this moment will be gone! I'll be praying that you get the answers you need and I hope that you and your sweet boyfriend will always be happy!
With Hope!
Kathy

[judith collier]

Chanelle, I'll take a stab on this. Usually we are attracted(when we are young) to an opposite. That should tell you something but what----actually, it is something in the other person that we do not have in our life yet. When you acquire this trait and develop it you will find you are attracted to someone else. All this is why we should NEVER MARRY until we are complete in our personality and know ourselves thoroughly and know who our God is. Your girlfriend needs help, a lot of help. You are not her savior. Emotional dependence is immature. You will change so much in the next 5 yrs. you won't even recognize yourself. Do not give up your schooling, you will be glad someday. Seek for truth always. Judy

[daywalker]

Hello Chanelle,

It seems like you know the answers to most your questions already. One thing about 'opposites attracting' is that they 'balance each other out'. It's how the entire universe works: Up--Down, Right--Left, Hot--Cold, Good--Evil, etc, etc, etc. In all cases both are needed in order for the other to exist.

My wife and I are about as opposite as you can get. It makes it really hard when we want do things like watching a movie, cause I'm an action/sci-fi thriller/sports guy, but she's a romantic/drama/comedy girl. She's the type that needs to have everything on schedule [all ducks in a row...]; but I usually just 'go with the flow', more laid-back. When someone does or says something that offends her, she swings back, and goes for the KO; but I tend to just 'turn the other cheek' [and if they smack my other cheek, I just smile and walk away]. But I'll admit that my wife is exceptionally smarter than I [..please don't tell her I said that, Lol].


"I have a guess that maybe it is because we don't have free will, which means we don't have a choice on who we fall in love with."

This isn't necessarily true. Yes, there are many things, beyond our control. that influence us into making our choices, like falling in love, but don't think like you have no control over the matter. Not having Free Will doesn't make us puppets. It just means that there's a reason for the choices you make; you don't 'just make them'.

Nothing ever happens in spite of what you do, but because of what you do. That's important to understand. This fact will clear up most of the confusion with human free will.

Anyways, in relations to your friend, my advice is to continue in the same way as you are already doing. Be there for her, help her when she asks. That's the best thing you can do, is to love her, and show her love. There are not very many people alive today, who are truly capable of loving unconditionally, and never giving up on someone else. If you are one of these people, then it's a blessing from God that should be freely shared with those around you. Especially, in times like these, people need someone they know they can rely on; to comfort them, and not judge them.

Matthew 7:12:
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.

I'll close with a statement from Christ, which, when read in context, may not stand out, but to me it's one of the most emphatic and powerful statements He ever made:

Matthew 26:52:
Then said Jesus unto him [Peter], Put up again your sword into his place: for all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword.


May God continue to fill you with love and peace [pun intended] ,

- Christopher.