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Sin and Guilt

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judith collier:
Horseman, wasn't that the sweetest word you ever heard? mercy! It was to me and thanks Eileen. I think that young picture of Eileen helped me too. I used to be sweet, at first, years ago but don't see much of it anymore in me. I love younger people, well, actually I love all ages but am especially drawn to younger or older or smarter or anything that isn't somewhat like me. My peers sometimes are about as tough on me as I am on them. That isn't especially the case here though. I FEEL like an old battered warrior and I am . I guess sometimes I think God doesn't love old warriors as much as he does the young. Horseman, at first when we are in love we have such sweet passion and we breathe it like life. As we get older it turns to committment and a verb and doesn't FEEL like we love as strongly as when we first met our TRUE LOVE. But I don't think we love God any less just differently. "Put me in remembrance of MY word". So I say, remember lord when I first loved you, how I would have rather died than offend you, how You were my everything, my joy, my desire, my Alpha and Omega, my heart of hearts. Then I say, You called me, You loved me, You said you would never leave me. judy

Marlene:
Hello, After, coming in here I have found out that even Babylon was his plan for me. I had to go through the sin and the failure to overcome. Trying on my own power and never having victory. Also, I lacked trust in him. I failed him really bad right before coming in here. I had a sin in my life that I thought was impossible for him to forgive me for. But, I had another sin that was way worse then the one I thought he could not forgive me for. How could I ever trust him and not see his purpose and plan for me. How, most of all could I ever overcome my trying to do it myself when I did not see him as all loving. Through, that one sin I hated the most in my life, he made me wish I was dead to get away from my memories and yet he changed it to my hate of Hell.

This brought me into Rays website. I was so thirsty for GOD'S  water that I read Rays articles for two days. I really did not sleep too much. Then, it all  began to hit me. My Lord Loves Me he loves the Whole World. He is the Saviour of the World. He will have his way and I have nothing to offer. I was let out of the Hell of my mind. I worshiped him like I have never in my life. I just keep my focus on this. The devil has tried to steal it away. But, God is teaching me to know the difference between Him and the devil. He has used his word just as he said, to help me know whose voice it is. God helps me to overcome those thoughts. I am just learning this. This is the stage I am at. I am learning to overcome.

God has put into my mind Matthew Chapter 4 as an example to equip me of the wiles of the devil. I want to learn the difference between my Fathers voice and my own or the devils.  If it is my own God presents it to me as sin. If, it is the devil it creates fear . The devil was always coming to Jesus to try and get him to sin. But, Jesus knew his fathers will. He knew him inside and out. That is a hard place to get. You have to have the Fathers Spirit for that. The devil h as spent years with us showing us things of the world. Wanting,us not to forgive others. Wanting, greed , fame, fortune what ever. We are our own worst enemy. It dies because when the Father consumes it with his fire we will be perfected. It is a process. Now, I find it helps me to remember, I am not perfect and my Father is. Its not about me. I have nothing to give. But, My God is able to deliver me when and how he wants. Jesus knew his Father.

Judy, that beast has to die. Killing that beast is what God does to us. It is a process and not easy. It likes to claim its throne. We have to overcome ourself. That Beast is a big thing. But, our God is Greater.

Even, after you know that God is the Savior of the World the devil likes to try and make you fall. He likes you to think God can't change you. Thats, how God teaches us trust in him. He brings us to where we cannot trust ourself for anything.  We will be able to know if the beast is talking or if the spirit is of the devil. It is a life time of overcoming. The devil was after Jesus at every turn in Matt. Chapter 4 But, because Jesus knew the difference between his Fathers voice and the devil he was able to over come. So, we have to overcome till the end like Jesus. The great thing to remember it is not our ability but the Fathers. We will have victory if it is the Fathers will. That, is why we should get one on one with God. So, we can learn to know which voice is talking to us. The Beast , the devil .  Something other then the Spirit of God.

I have been thinking alot about Matt. Chapter 4  alot. Also, remember while the disciplies slept God turned to his Father in prayer. This helped him to overcome. You have to spend time alone with him. In one post in here we have to put on the full armour. George, pointed that out to me. If, one part is missing we will be found sleeping. That armour is all one, and without one part we might be caught sleeping.

I just wanted to let you know , that now I see my entire life as all a process just like Ray talks of. I see his patience, longsuffering and that Good News Gospel of Love, which has won me over. His Love set me free. It will be same for all humanity when he presents it to them. I have no idea what I will do. Will, I overcome till the end. Will he choose me. No, idea, but I do believe he is able to accomplish all his will. He is the Saviour of the World.

Now, I know what they mean pray without ceasing cause it really all depends on him. Best prayer we could ever pray. Lord, keep me no matter what you have to do. I said, that many years ago to God. I told my last pastor that several years ago. He said, "Well that was a bold stament.Now, I know that the Lord had me to say that. He has done some pretty powerful things in my life and has chastened me real good before coming in here.  Well, it was each time as severe as it should have been. He corrects in the way that changes us. He will be faithful to continue to do it. I just pray in fear and trembling. Cause that Beast loves to arise. When we learn what the Spirit of God consist of. We will know what the Spirit is and Gods Spirit will guide us . God is creating us in his Image. It is all one process. Hard but not impossible for our God who wills ALL MEN BE SAVED. I know , the Lord has opened my eyes to that Chapter 4 in Matt. I had read it many years. But, never thought about it with open eyes and ears. That, is a powerful Chapter indeed.
 

In His Love,
Marlene

judith collier:
Marlene, I will go read it. I am ready for deliverance . This is one tough battle. I am actually physically weakened at times. I do need to know the different voices. Well, not (voices, voices) but in the spiritual state. Usually I do pretty well but not too good lately. And it ISN"T about me. Judy

jg:
This topic is exactly what is going on with me.  At times I feel alone, without God.  All the trouble keeps coming and coming and sometimes it's just so overwhelming that I actually find myself angry at God.  (Hope I didnt shock you there, just telling the truth) 

I find myself saying things like, "Where is God in all this?"  "Where is the end of it all?" 

After my tyrade, I come groveling back to God asking forgiveness for being so selfish and feel so ashamed.

It just never seems to end. I'm not talking about trivial problems here either.  A family member doing drugs, another who is facing 10 to 40 years in prison.  I just get so tired of trouble if you know what I mean. I'm so tired of dealing with it. I never know what might happen from moment to moment. 

I know I've got to learn to leave it all up to God to take care of it all but as of this moment in my walk I'm not there yet.  I get so angry, I see no love in my heart for either of them at times, yet on the other hand when it counts the most, I feel such compassion for their situations.....what a rollercoaster ride! 

I find myself sinning when I feel that anger, saying things I'm ashamed of.  The anger itself is sin.  I know I'm to put away anger, but I can't "just do it." 

Slowly, ever sooooooooo slowly, I'm learing that I can't do this on my own at all..
The only thing I can hang onto is knowing He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me.

I pray for my wife, as this is all harder on her than it is on me,,I'm just the step-dad. Yet the crud keeps happening. She gets drug through the mud over and over again until her nerves are totally shot. And I end up hating what they do to her.

So, yeah, God is dealing with me.  I just hope I learn it soon,,,,real soon...

Deborah-Leigh:
It is difficult to look into our souls to see if we have begun changing in ways that would be pleasing to God. It is easier to develop skills in quoting Scriptures and BT.

Only God can make us change and only He can come to us to initiate such changes as looking inwards not outwards to evaluate our real condition spiritually.

I had to first THINK that I  KNEW the Scriptures before God began to show me that I actually knew nothing. That is the beginning of change as God shows us our weakness and wretched nakedness not to insult us but to CHANGE us.

Sharing my understanding with back up from BT and Scriputes has been a very important exercise for me. The exercise in Spiritual discernment has nurtured me and helped wean me off Babylonian seductive false teachings. It has been a valuable gift from God that I believe has, is and will continue to be an important preparation process for Change.

We can do nothing without Him. At first He causes us to think we have the power to obey. He causes us to experience the futility of knowing right from wrong and being unfit, incapable, unable and destitute of following Him. Regardless of our understanding of Him” we know nothing about Him until He begins to change us. Then, as happened to Ray, He starts to tell you One on one what the Truth is. Asking Him what the Truth is can never be sufficient if merely a curiosity or intellectual exchange. Like Pontius asked Him…What is Truth? Did he get the answer. No. Even His Apostles got no answers until they were Converted. Then the process of Change began.

There are two groups. Those who see Him more and more and those who are making merchandise of Him for self aggrandisement.
As Ray expounds, that God has two areas and eras of judgement.

I too am learning to appreciate HIS Word and His Message more. I can see that through Ray I may not have CHANGED as such but my DIRECTION HAS which is a most significant and life changing gift from God.

Thanks to each one of you for your comments. 

Arc

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