Few more
:
"Every time he tries to make a move, something screws up. Like on their first date, they were on the couch, but she was sitting on his wrong side."
"Wrong side?"
"Yes, she was on his right side. He can't make a move with his left hand. Can't go left."
"He can't go left?"
"No. I'm leftie, can't go right. What about women? Do they go left or right?"
"No, we just play defense."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Implant""Well, my swimming pool problems are solved. I just found myself miles and miles of open lanes."
"What is that smell?"
"That's East River."
"You're swimming in the East River? The most heavily trafficked, overly contaminated waterway on the eastern seaboard?"
"Technically, Norfolk has more gross tonnage."
"How could you swim in that water?"
"I saw a couple other guys out there."
"Swimming?"
"Well... floating. They weren't moving much, but they were out there."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Nap""Beautiful women... Ya know, they get away with murder. You never see one of them lift anything over three pounds. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and nobody can stop them."
"She's like a beautiful Godzilla."
"And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese!"
- George and Jerry, in "The Calzone""It's not you, it's me.... You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."
"Alright, George, it's you."
"You're damn right it's me."
"Look, I was just trying to...."
"I know what you were trying to do. Nobody does it better than me."
"Well I'm sure you do it very well."
"Yes, well, unfortunately you'll never get the chance to find out."
- George and Gwen, breaking up, in "The Lip Reader""Hey Elaine, have you noticed your boyfriend has developed an annoying little habit?"
"The squinting?"
"No."
"The staring?"
"No. He keeps asking me to give him a high-five."
"I thought all guys do that."
"Slapping hands is the lowest form of primate ritual."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Dealership"Marques