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[Dave in Tenn]

I came in to the forum today mostly to make a seperate post, but it might be better to just slip it in here.

Bear with me, I'm in a public place and can't 'show' the emotion I feel.

I came to B-T rejoicing in all the wonderful and startling truths I'd encountered and been given faith to believe, and I've seen the Lord work in my life to clean me up from the INSIDE.  I've determined NOT to get caught up in a new round of 'religious' or 'spiritual' experiences to prop me up.  Been there, done that--over and over and over again.  I've learned (though, believe me, I needed little proof) that I am the Beast.  I've learned that the carnal mind is deep-seated enmity with God.  I've learned that God is Soverign God, and that I--at the very most--am NOT.

It's best to just admit that and not hold to any claim of righteousness, even as I've found myself so blessed as to know these things hidden from the world and the Churches.  Isn't that scriptural?  What good does it do to clean the outside of the cup if the inside is filthy?  What does the flesh profit?

I've 'backslidden' many times since coming to believe the Gospel.  But to my mind, I haven't failed in any new way because THAT is 'normal' for me, not a "spiritual" life.  And my sins are not small, by any means. 

Anyway, what I wanted to share was that God is continuing to bring me to repentance (as he has promised according to His nature)...sometimes with tenderness, and sometimes with harsher judgement.  And, true to MY real nature, I have found myself most of the time HATING that process, fearing it, mourning for Egypt, as it were.  I don't want to be completely clean.  I like to sin, and even when I don't, I find it comforting to hold onto.  I've been fighting it and continue to, though He is winning.

I don't know if my 'acquiesence' is Faith, apathy, or ignorance, but I know that I am on a journey that is NOT like my religious and Spiritual past.  There is no hiding from God, no cloak of respectability I can wear, no 'righteousness' I can turn to.  I am not yet a child of God...to a great degree I remain an enemy of God, and there's no point in puny me denying that. 

I don't know if that resonates with any (all) of you, especially my 'elders' in this faith, but that's my testimony to date.  It's been about a year since I came to B-T first.  I have such a long way to go.  But all I've learned about God in that time makes me believe that His patience is greater than mine and His love more sure.  I want to be able to say, "Though He slay me, yet will I serve Him",  because I've come to believe that both will happen.

[aqrinc]

Dave,

I hear and see right there with you brother, we are worms, just like the Scriptures likens us. But the Great news is; GOD Has Already made allowances for this condition. HE Sees us In Jesus Christ as made worthy, GOD'S Perspective IS where we are supposed to rest; in Our Lord And Saviour Jesus Christ, The Righteous.

Job 17:14 (KJV)
I have said to corruption, Thou art my father: to the worm, Thou art my mother, and my sister.

Isa 41:14 (KJV)
Fear not, thou worm Jacob, and ye men of Israel; I will help thee, saith the LORD, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

Eze 34:16 (KJV)
I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that which was sick: but I will destroy the fat and the strong; I will feed them with judgment.

Mat 18:11 (KJV)
For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

Rom 11: 32-36 (GNB)
32  For God has made all people prisoners of disobedience, so that he might show mercy to them all.
33  How great are God's riches! How deep are his wisdom and knowledge! Who can explain his decisions? Who can understand his ways?
34  As the scripture says, "Who knows the mind of the Lord? Who is able to give him advice?
35  Who has ever given him anything, so that he had to pay it back?"
36  For all things were created by him, and all things exist through him and for him. To God be the glory forever! (for The Eons) Amen.

george .

[mharrell08]

I came in to the forum today mostly to make a seperate post, but it might be better to just slip it in here.

Dave, I thought this post deserved it's own thread so it would not be lost in the shuffle...I'm pretty sure your words resonate with us all as they are true and represent what it is to follow the narrow path.


Thanks Dave,

Marques

[Ninny]

You know what, Dave? Until you are where you are God can't take you any further! We all have to see in ourselves the things we hate the most! Remember when Paul said he did that which he didn't want to do? If we all aren't there or haven't been there at some point, then we all have more road ahead of us than behind! The good thing is that God knows all about us there is nothing that shocks or surprises Him!! Your mother would faint to learn some of the things that God knows about you! That's what's so great about God! He knows everything there is to know about us and still loves us enough to send Jesus to rescue our worthless behinds!! It's just great that God knows what to save and what to destroy! That's what life is all about! Learning WHAT we are when everyone tells us "Oh you just have to know who you are in this life!".
Once God reveals to us WHAT we are then we will find out IN HIM, WHO we are!! (I think that takes a little while!) But God has us!! We are right there with you, buddy!
Kathy

[Terry]

Dave well said, why can't i explain things that way and all the replys thus far were great, i'm starting to see something now.
God Bless
Terry

[Ocean]

Dave, as a new BT-convert, i can only pray that through ALL your trials and temptations that you will look to God only for strength and wisdom. I know He listens but doesn't always given immediate feedback....but in/through my tears (therapeutic too), He's given a peace that i cannot explain.

Hang in there.

Warm Blessings,
Ocean

[Roy Coates]

I feel you brother, nicely said. I pray for you and all in their time of need. Thanks for sharing I too am nothing with out God.

[cjwood]

dave,
after reading your post i could almost just put my name as the one who started the thread. i have been having similar emotions myself lately. i want you to know though that everytime i read something you post on the forum in reply to other threads, your words always resonate in my heart, and you can make me laugh out loud when i least expect it. you have not been shown the Truths unwittingly. you are full aware that our Father has a specific plan and purpose for your live dave in tn. you speak the truth when you say that there is no hiding from God, and no cloak of respectiblity we can wear. i have been telling my Father in my prayers at night for the last few days that it is a truth that there is nothing hidden from Him. what is completely awesome is that He knew the words you would type in your thread before you sat down to do it. nothing is hidden from Him. stand strong in your faith dave because He has given it to you by way of His gift of grace. we are all worms in the dust, but through His Spirit we will one day be beautiful as our Risen Savior is Beautiful in His spiritual body. He is our Brother and He is not ashamed of us because we are His beloved. remember that.

claudia

[Astrapho]

He knows everything there is to know about us and still loves us enough to send Jesus to rescue our worthless behinds!!

LOL yes, perfectly said!

Heyyep, we all have still got such a long way to go... But Jesus still loves us, even though we sin so much that we hate ourselves, and well, that's something to take comfort in. What an awesome God we have. 

[walt123]

Thanks Dave

I too can always use a reminder of myself as well,and I use these Scripture
Romans 7:14-25 to help me focus.

14 For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin.

15 For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I.

16 If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good.

17 Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.

19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.

20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.

21 I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.

22 For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:

23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.

24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.


Walt.

[Rene]

Hi Dave,

Your words resonate with me as well, and I respect the sincerity of your comments. 

René

[Marlene]

This reminds me of the song Amazing Grace how great the sound that saved a wretch like me. The word wretch is not the word that it said originally. The word was worm. I think, they should have left it that way. It just never ceases to amaze me that before coming in here I took the Bible to mean physically. But, like the rest of you I started to see somethings different while in Babylon.

Every day God shows me what I am. Its a painful process , but a very important one.

I have nothing to be proud of. That, is how God keeps us humble. 

In HIs Love,
Marlene

[meee]

  I am not yet a child of God...to a great degree I remain an enemy of God, and there's no point in puny me denying that. 

I don't know if that resonates with any (all) of you, especially my 'elders' in this faith, but that's my testimony to date.  It's been about a year since I came to B-T first.  I have such a long way to go.  But all I've learned about God in that time makes me believe that His patience is greater than mine and His love more sure.  I want to be able to say, "Though He slay me, yet will I serve Him",  because I've come to believe that both will happen.

          Amen Dave, well said, yes it does resonates with me too.
          Enduring to the end, with you brother.
          meee