I have a tale, a frightening one,
twill make you scream and pee,
I hesitate to mention this horror,
About the Behemoth and Me.
Twas a dark night at the bar,
Was waiting for my blind date,
Had a few beers, a koolaid too,
Was anxious to find a new mate.
When in the door walked a giant beast,
It's site was horrendously morbid,
But when I smelled its stench I doubled over,
And puked my koolaid towards it.
I tried to run but bumped a biker,
The inebriated man said what's up?,
I said sorry dude, got places to be,
That thing over there wants to play bump.
The biker said too bad and swung on me,
And knocked me towards a table,
I said buddy, take it easy, I don't fight,
Especially now, I'm not able.
He said alright man, sorry for my reaction,
and turned to walk away,
That was when I took a chair,
and blindly heaved it his way.
Then the entire bar jumped on me,
And started pounding me into the floor,
The situation was becoming hopless,
I tried to get to the door.
It was at this point that the beastly thing,
Began throwing them drunks around,
She broke bottles and tables, she really got rough,
The drunks were tossed into a mound.
I got up slowly, she showed her missing teeth,
I finally said hey, how are ya?,
She said you owe me boy, we hittin the town,
At least with me they can't mug ya.
I grimmaced in pain at the blinding site,
And said what da hell, let's flee,
It's a bitter sweet story about violence and submission,
That's the tale of The Behemoth and Me.