This is a very timely topic for me with what is being discussed on the General Discussion Board - "Love your Enemies".
My family has had their own experiences with mental illness. My father disserted my family when I was 10 years old. He just up and left one day and took everything, monetarily, we had. He was located by my mom, by chance, when she was going through some old postcards that he had sent her from a fishing trip he had taken years and years prior. My aunt and uncle were dispatched to go get him and bring him back. Then began the terror...the man that returned was not my dad, he was a stranger, a lunatic, he didn't even look like himself anymore. That first night was one of the most horrific of my life, all sense of security had gone out the window. And for a 10 year old child it was tramatic. He spent one night at home before my mom and grandparents had him committed for observation. I don't really remember how long he was in the hospital, but I remember going there so my mom could meet with the doctors. He was diagnosed; metal breakdown, manic depression, alcoholic. And after his stay in the hospital, he did not come home to us. But he did continue to terrorize us and make our lives very difficult. At one point, when I was on a weekend visit to my grandparents, my mom had come to pick us up and my grandmother, knowing that she was coming called me father and had him come over. He showed up drunk and threatend to kill my sister and I so my mother couldn't have us. I remember being pushed out a back bedroom window in order to save our lives. I am just thankful that my sister was too young to remember all the pain and anguish he put our family through. Although she did not come out unscathed.
My grandparents always supported my father, and had little time for my mother and their grandchildren. My father was allowed to continue on with his lifestyle and life with little concern for how it would effect other people. He was financially supported by his parents and was able to collect disability payments from the government because he was eventually declared permanently disabled due to his alcoholism. He is today a 67 year old man that still drinks everyday, that is nothing that resembles the man that was once my father. He is possibly the most selfish individual I have ever met in my life. He has never once searched out help for his addictions other then to get more medication. He has always been babied by people, and in fact one of the montras for my mom, anytime I expressed anger has always been "Your father is sick", you need to have a relationship with him, "your father is sick", he is not responsible for his actions, you get the idea. There was never any justification for how the rest of us were fairing, if our feelings mattered, it was all about him. I haven't had a relationship with him since I was 12, but my sister and brother continue to have contact with him today.
All of us have been effected by his actions, my mom, brother, sister and I, and some of us has choosen to do something about it. About a year and a half ago, I hit a wall. It seemed like my life was on a roll... I was successful at my job, I had many things that I enjoy doing, and I have a family and friends that love me...everything seemed to be moving in the right direction. But in an instant, BAM! DEPRESSION struck me life someone had clocked me in the jaw and then came back and did it again. It seemed strange that everything had been going so well, but I had to look for some help. I starting to seeing a therapist (not my 1st time, but probably the most helpful) I won't go into all the gorry details, but it was many months of seeing someone weekly, going on anti-depressants to get through some bad times and coming to grips with what had happened to me as a child and how it had effected my life good and bad.
I realized that many people suffer from depression in their lives, not just me. That it is not a stigma and shouldn't be feared and hidden, as it was in my family. It shouldn't treated like there is an elephant in the room, but brought out into the open and addressed.
My father didn't have that luxury, no one ever got in his face and told him he had to get help. Instead he was coddled by his parents, and it did him no good. He did stop drinking for a short period of time when he was diagnosed and treated last year with Prostate Cancer, but it didn't stick. My grandparents left him with a very sizable amount of money when they both passed away 2-3 years ago, so he is set to continue on his path. It may be too late for him, only God will know the answer to that one. But if you can help someone now who you recognize needs help, please do.
Praying for understanding, forgiveness, and love~
NB
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Topic: Helping others who will not help themselves (Read 15205 times)