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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Samson on October 01, 2008, 10:02:24 AM
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Good Morning,
My Dad sent me this Joke, it should give you all a chuckle.
A store that sells new Husbands has opened in New York City, where a Woman may go to choose a Husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
YOU MAY VISIT THIS STORE ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building !
So, a Woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
FLOOR 1- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
FLOOR 2- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS AND LOVE KIDS.
That's nice, she thinks, but I want more.
So she continues upward.
The third floor sign reads:
FLOOR 3- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, AND ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING.
Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
FLOOR 4- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GOOD LOOKING AND HELP WITH HOUSEWORK.
Oh, mercy me! she exclaims, I can hardly stand it !
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
FLOOR 5- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS, HELP WITH HOUSEWORK, AND HAVE A STRONG ROMANTIC STREAK.
she is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
FLOOR 6- YOU ARE VISITOR 31,456,012 TO THIS FLOOR. THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR. THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLELY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE HUSBAND STORE.
Remember, it's only a joke; ;D ;) ::), Samson.
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Over 30 years ago Ray told me about a man who spent years looking for the perfect woman and he finally found her. But he did not marry her. Know why? She was looking for the perfect man.
Dennis
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LOL :D
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Really Really Funny... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Comon Samson...this is not a joke...this must be a true story :D
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Hi Brenda,
I think it's funny but my Boss er Wife >:( has the skillet out taking warm-up swings.
LOL, Geo. ???
Really Really Funny... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Hi Brenda,
I think it's funny but my Boss er Wife >:( has the skillet out taking warm swings.
LOL, Geo. ???
Really Really Funny... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I know I may get myself in hot water here, but what the hey.....
I think this was very funny, but it was written by a man.
Why do I say this?
Because the least important aspect of a man {from a woman} is his appearance!
That should have been floor one. I can look at a handsome man, and after listening to him for two minutes forget it. ::) You gotta have more going for you than good looks. Most Women have different eyes, and they respect things in men, that men don't respect in each other. If we find in a Man, virtues we can Respect & Admire, we actually see him as drop dead gorgeous!
You guy's really do think we are hard to please, while there is some truth to that, mostly it's that you don't understand what we want.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D (someone to move the furniture around) lol
Peace To My Brothers
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Ha Ha Brenda,
I say, IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS A W--O--M--A--N OR WHAT SHE WANTS, HEAR YE HEAR YE, IS THERE SUCH A ONE(Not Jesus either ladies) & it certainly ain't one of those HOMINIDS, either. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.
OH OH OH BRENDA, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW, EXIT STAGE LEFT AND HURRY.
Only in love, Samson.
P.S. Brenda, Hosp ital direct # for Pam: 610-250-8564, go for it.
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Brenda, did you hit the nail on the head or what!! ::)
Dianne
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I wouldn't be able to find a wife in such a place. Because the second I walk in, I'd notice, hey, every lady in here can't stay out of a shopping center. Why can't I find a gal who despises being in these places. They would say, hey wait, on the third floor you can find a wife that will clean, cook, let you watch sports. .. . whereas I would cut the sailsman off and say. yeah right, once she gets a hold of my credit card, she'll be right back here.
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I wouldn't be able to find a wife in such a place. Because the second I walk in, I'd notice, hey, every lady in here can't stay out of a shopping center. Why can't I find a gal who despises being in these places. They would say, hey wait, on the third floor you can find a wife that will clean, cook, let you watch sports. .. . whereas I would cut the sailsman off and say. yeah right, once she gets a hold of my credit card, she'll be right back here.
Ah Hummmm...Where you looking for a Mommy or a Wife?? ???
Were do you think the Beer, Chips, T.V. Set, Dinner, Cleaning Supplies, Pot & Pans, and Lazy Boy Chair came from...?
Honestly Girls, these guy's think everything grows in trees....Let's bring them some fruit to eat.... ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Just so you all know, i make all the big :-\ decisions in my home. We have been married for 34+ years and never had a problem, LOL :o, as long as i said yes. Guys the big secret (Yes Dearest) works 99 percent of the time ???. The other 1 percent just beg :P; oh btw last time we had a big decision was 34+ years ago. Oh and take out the trash and keep the seat down, In a nutshell the secrets of a happily 8) married man.
Geo. :) ;D :D
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Ha Ha Brenda,
I say, IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS A W--O--M--A--N OR WHAT SHE WANTS, HEAR YE HEAR YE, IS THERE SUCH A ONE(Not Jesus either ladies) & it certainly ain't one of those HOMINIDS, either. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.
OH OH OH BRENDA, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW, EXIT STAGE LEFT AND HURRY.
Only in love, Samson.
P.S. Brenda, Hosp ital direct # for Pam: 610-250-8564, go for it.
In my experience, it's generally pretty difficult to know what a woman wants, when they don't really even seem to know either.
If anyone wants me, I'll be in my underground bunker!
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Ha Ha Brenda,
I say, IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS A W--O--M--A--N OR WHAT SHE WANTS, HEAR YE HEAR YE, IS THERE SUCH A ONE(Not Jesus either ladies) & it certainly ain't one of those HOMINIDS, either. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.
OH OH OH BRENDA, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW, EXIT STAGE LEFT AND HURRY.
Only in love, Samson.
P.S. Brenda, Hosp ital direct # for Pam: 610-250-8564, go for it.
In my experience, it's generally pretty difficult to know what a woman wants, when they don't really even seem to know either.
If anyone wants me, I'll be in my underground bunker!
Well Said Martinez,
Also, touche, did I spell that correctly. Admittedly, I have a good wife that seems to appreciate the differences between The Martians and The Venetians. She's a gem, sometimes I'm a jerk, but I suppose there's hope for us Guys. We have a pretty good role model, Our Lord Jesus Christ, add to that prayer and someday we will get it together, it's Gods Will. ;)
Any room in that bunker; ;D Samson.
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To quote Tom Netherton (Of the Lawrence Welk Show)
"It's better to have loved and lost, than to be married and bossed."
Ches
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To quote Tom Netherton (Of the Lawrence Welk Show)
"It's better to have loved and lost, than to be married and bossed."
Ches
Hey Ches,
Thats pretty funny, but I have an EX- Mother-in-law that does a good job of trying to boss people around, even me.
Samson. ::) ::) ::)
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Now, we all see why God wants to destroy our carnal minds…….. LOL. :)
In His Love. Richard
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Diane,
These guy's are having way to much fun with Samson. Let's go shopping while there being so cute....
;D We're gonna start on a new wardrobe for Pam... ;)
Yes we are hopelessly silly blowing of steam during "Recess"....when the bell rings no more fun! :P
Hey I think Richard took my twinkees ;)
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Samson
Hey Ches,
Thats pretty funny, but I have an EX- Mother-in-law that does a good job of trying to boss people around, even me.
Samson.
I have this quote from the preacher in "Blazing Saddles": "Son, you're on your own. ;)
Ches
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And i have this quote from my Best half:
You do that, you had better learn how to sleep with one eye open.
Geo.
Samson
Hey Ches,
Thats pretty funny, but I have an EX- Mother-in-law that does a good job of trying to boss people around, even me.
Samson.
I have this quote from the preacher in "Blazing Saddles": "Son, you're on your own. ;)
Ches
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Funny joke but why leave out the end? They way I heard it it ends like this:
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
;)
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I know it's a joke, I smiled when I read it. But this is how I see the conflict.
It's a human condition not a man or woman issue.
1co 3:3 for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?
Ro 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.
1co 3:4 For when one says, "I am of Paul," and another, "I am of Apollos," are you not carnal?
But what is the true marriage? To Christ.
We would never ever marry Christ on our own. This is the true marriage and
we all seem to have a long way of becoming one.
Joh 6:44 "No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up at the last day.
Joh 6:45 "It is written in the prophets, 'And they shall all be taught by God.' Therefore everyone who has heard and learned from the Father comes to Me.
Re 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" And let him who thirsts come. Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.
Eph 5:31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
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Funny joke but why leave out the end? They way I heard it it ends like this:
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
;)
Krista,
How very True, but you forgot Woman who love to watch Sports and Love good food for their Men, so thats: LOVE SEX, HAVE MONEY, LOVE SPORTS AND LOVE GOOD FOOD.
I'm a reasonable man, THE FIRST FLOOR IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME; ;D ;D ;D
The rest on that list, I can take care of myself, ;)
Only having Fun, Samson.
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;D funny Samson, but I didn't make that ending up :). I think I like yours better though ;).