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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Samson on May 25, 2011, 10:41:49 AM
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Hi Forum,
This Thread is primarily meant for Fun & Banter, but some helpful insights are appreciated too. Hopefully, We can get responses from a close to equal distribution of Guys & Gals from the Forum Membership. Those of you that are Married will probably know what I'm referring to. Hope to hear responses from Craig, John From Kentucky, Kat, Rene, Crazy4Bam, Gena, Arcturus, Vangie, Linny, Grace(maybe not, ;D), perhaps Dennis, Ninny( ;)), Longhorn(may regret this, ;D) and even John Michael, who although was never Married, seems to understand their(Women) language better than most Males.
What I sometimes wonder occasionally, while sorta Day dreaming about Life, considering Why God Created & Planned things the way He did: Why didn't He create Males & Females with a Brain that thinks & Feels the same. We know He wanted to have many Son's & Daughters which necessitated having a Male & a Female to Procreate, yet Why not have a Brain that includes both Male & Female ways of thinking for both sexes in order to avoid such confusion, so When Males & Females interact, it wouldn't, at times, become a source of Stress. Now, I realize that God has a sense of Humor and such stressful friction was deemed necessary for Our spiritual development, but in those Male/Female moments, I still sometimes ask myself WHY.
Some Examples: My Wife and I were squabbling on Monday about nothing really important in comparison to Major World Events. It centered around Her response to Me about a simple non complicated question. She gave Me an answer about a question I directed towards Her about doing something and I asked Her what Her REASON was. She responded by saying: There is no reason, it is what it is and that's it. She apparently didn't believe a REASON was necessary beyond that. For six years, We sometimes get into that back & forth scenario about Me desiring to have a REASON for everything She says & does. My usual response is that there is a reason for everything, even if We don't know what the reason is. She sometimes gets annoyed with Me when I try to analyze every detail of Life and Why people choose & Do certain things.
Another Possible Example: Approximately 20 minutes ago, I Posted a response to Grace's comment on that Thread about that Email response of Ray's to that Guy named Aaron about Homosexuality started By Zander, Grace stated: Are We Puppets, I figured that She asked a question requiring an answer on that question, so I provided an answer, followed By Hope in Christs' subsequent response. After thinking about My response to Grace, I'm beginning to wonder if She really wasn't looking for an answer, but instead was wondering about; Are We Puppets in regards to holding back answers about the original Topic started by Zander.
In Summary, Males & Females; Husbands & Wives seem to argue and stress themselves out over the most minor and most stupid issues. Issues that don't seem to matter in the Grand Scheme of things. Well, if you desire to respond, having a little Fun and sharing Your take on this, go for it, I'm convinced it won't be boring, :D, ;D.
Have Fun, Samson.
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It's Venus and Mars Samson.
Her Side of the Story:
He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.
So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed.
Then after awhile, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.
His Side of the Story:
The 49er's lost.
Got lucky though.
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Too sweet Craig...being over half a century and getting younger!
Samson, I have to hand it to Pam...her intuition, wisdom and insight is captured in a profound, deep and true response being...no reason. Hah! That could mean so much or nothing at all!
The so much part is that any reason is simply a figment of a self justification of which Pam is aloof and beyond such denigrations and or constructs of a human ego, presenting for itself, its case for, or against a motion. Hence that reply, it is what it is, means the highest form by which the actual statement is, I love you and so there is nothing else to say of the matter. Let’s move on, my way that is in harmony, joy and appreciation for being able to let go of self justification. It is what it is.
Meaning nothing at all can go into this area of comprehensive insight to that domain of non-conflict that simply and clearly knows that what is, is what is and no debate or argument is constructive to the contrary.
Should I have been a lawyer or a preacher...? lol....I am what I am...you are what you are and I think your wonderful miracle of a wife, might quite simply without any fuss, agree! :D
What a wise Lady you are married to!...and what a wise man you are to love her!
Arc
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She sometimes gets annoyed with Me when I try to analyze every detail of Life and Why people choose & Do certain things.
I'm annoyed with you for being that way, and I'm not even married to you. ;D ::) :P :D
René
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This response is for all the women out there in this male populated world: ;D We were made different for a reason: ah! To drive all men to the brink of sanity! I also like to say:Yes, dear you are absolutely right. It usually works, but he is starting to catch on. I also have this to say all women's problems start and end with men:
1)MENopause
2)MENstrual cycle
3)Mental stress
4) woman
5) women
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DISCLAIMER: I am purely speaking from personal experience when I have had to play "interpreter" between friends who are couples. I am not speaking for all women or all men. I very much realize that there are exceptions to every rule. ;D
Women:
Women tend to speak from, and are ruled by, the Heart. They think in terms of how the subject or action is going to make someone feel. Is it going to hurt them? Is it going to cause pain? Is it going to make them happy? What kind of stress is it going to cause? Etc. The person's emotions are the viewpoint from which a woman looks at a particular subject or action.
Men:
Men tend to speak from, and are ruled by, the Mind. They think in terms of how the subject or action is logical or illogical. Does the framework make sense? Is it logical? Is it reasonable? What is the reason? Does it provide the solution to the problem? Does it have longevity and stability? Etc. Logic is the viewpoint from which men look at a particular subject or action.
Case in Point (if I might borrow your scenario, Samson):
You wanted to know the reason behind her statement. You desired to know her logic for stating what she did. Why did she say what she said?
Her viewpoint of the matter was that there didn't have to be logic behind it. She just felt like it - plain and simple. It didn't require a dissection or an analysis. That's how she felt. It is what it is.
Notice the disconnect?
Sometimes I truly think that God separated not only His masculinity and femininity when He created Man and Woman, but that He also separated His Mind and Heart. One would be ruled by one, and the other would be ruled by the other. The joining of the two would reflect His completeness (granted, in an imperfect way).
Hopefully the men and women won't try to burn me at the stake. ;D Again, I'm JUST speaking from personal experience. This is by no means conclusive or all-encompassing. Put those pitchforks down! ;D
There is a saying that "the Mind and Heart march to the beat of two different drummers, and they rarely fall into step." Nowhere is this more evident than with men and women. :D
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JohnMichael,
Your reasoning seems logical to me! ;D
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My husband and I will be married 12 years this August, and we are different as day and night when it comes to how we view things most of the time! And yes, I know that's the condition of the majority of married couples. Venus/Mars and all that. :P But I think it's interesting that what Samson said about wanting to know the reason behind his wife's doings and her frustration with his analytical tendency actually is the OPPOSITE for me and my husband. I am the one who wants to know why and he is the one who is happy with it just being what it is. I have a mind that spins a million miles a minute and he can fall asleep in 6 seconds flat. (While I am sorting thoughts and asking God to let the spinning slow down enough for me to sleep) The emotional side of things is still mine, of course...so not only am I analytical, but i go through the confusion of my own feelings and try to analyze them as well..Meanwhile my husband forgets that i deal with these things and wonders what crawled under my skin..Haha! He really is so comfy in his own skin. He actually isn't really that frustrated with me ever, and that frustrates me! I want him to seem like he cares more than he does because I feel all alone being so concerned with figuring things out...
balance.
balance needs to happen. :)
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Hi Samson,
Why didn't He create Males & Females with a Brain that thinks & Feels the same.
Good question.
Well I will give you my take on why this in the way God designed it. Having male and female brains that operate differently, is a way of enabling a much greater diversity in human personalties.
Even though there is always exceptions, I agree with John, men seem to be analytical, making them good at mathematics and engineering, they are looking for logical answers. Where as women seem to operate mainly with emotions and feelings, so they are empathizing types making them good at mothering.
It's interesting because I can say to my husband, 'look it's raining outside.' His reply would then go something like this; when did it start? How hard is it raining? Is the wind blowing too? Is it suppose to rain all day, I wanted to cut the grass this afternoon? So many questions. Whereas if he told me it was raining, I might say, 'good the garden needed it.' That's it.
Another thing I will say is I think God made a means by which in relationships, with the combination of these different strengths and weaknesses of our genders, to enriching our knowledge (physical that is). Because each brings their own gender perspective that can add greatly to the understanding of the other. As well as all the joys and pleasures of you can have in a relationship there is the inevitable problems, which are great avenue for trials and tribulations and if we are to be overcomers, we need something to overcome. So it seems to me this whole male-female thing was design to make possible a great part of the good and evil experiences that we have in this life. I will just leave it at that.
mercy, peace and love
Kat
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It's Venus and Mars Samson.
Her Side of the Story:
He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for a drink. I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.
So anyway, in the car on the way back home, I said that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what that meant because you know he didn't say it back or anything. We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to bed.
Then after awhile, he joined me and to my surprise, we made love. But he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself to sleep. I just don't know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he's seeing someone else.
His Side of the Story:
The 49er's lost.
Got lucky though.
That......is........ A W E S O M E!! ;D
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JohnMichael,
Your reasoning seems logical to me! ;D
I would second that.
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What a hilarious thread!!
Married 37 years!! Yikes. And boy are we Mars/Venus- that is our code words for when we have reached impass and need to move on!!
I like to say rhetorical things...I don't want an answer-just an agreement or an 'uh hum'
ex- watching sports on TV together...I say "wonder why he would do that"-like you know, just small talk. My husband will analyze the entire play and what the guy did so we miss the next play. I say, Jer, I didn't want to know all that- I was just sayin'......he says, then why did you say that? I thought you really wanted an answer.
But we don't learn from that.....it happens every time! Now my new code word is RHETORICAL!!! don't wanna know specifics
our other disconnect is in directions....I am the big headline reader....He reads the small print.....
Just tell me what you want done....he wants to explain everything in minute detail like I am 6 and not 60!!! :D
Conclusion Samson??? It may be more like brains are just different period!!! ;) And Lord I don't know why HE made us all this way!!
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These thread might wasn't meant for me to post in, as I am not married (and I wasn't in the list (haha, just kidding)), but, oh well, I have already write in.
i just wanted to mention that the list moises was referring to above, was one that samson listed in his initial thread. i posted something about this list late last night, but, apparently a mod decided to remove my post without any explanation as to why.
claudia
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I removed your post Claudia because I thought it was unfair of you to suggest that part of Samson's post was unnecessary because he named people and it was cliquish. Give me a break, I don't hardly know Brad at all but I know that was not his intention. I moved your post because I thought your comments were unnecessary and inflammatory.
A clique? I can probably count on 2 hands the times I have talked to anyone here by phone or in person (not counting meeting some at a conference) Ask the other moderators or members how much I correspond with them by pm or email, hardly any. I probably make some upset because I don't respond. Just because twenty or so members are regular posters does not a clique make, anyone can post. Why did Brad mention some names and not others, because if you look he pretty much covered the spectrum of all the different characteristics of the members here and the world in general. He did not mention "chestercheetah", "dan" or "delandus" because they have not posted and given him a chance to know them (PS not picking on you guys or gals that don't post ;) ).
I did not feel a need to comment to you as I did not see a need to make a mountain out of a mole hill, but you insist so here goes. I don't know what the problem is with you in the last several months, but the tone and undertones in your posts are getting old, at least to me. If you don't like the forum, the direction it is going, the moderators, some of the members or anything else then you are under no obligation to stay, nor is anyone else.
As a moderator I don't need the worry. I don't need the worry about someone getting their feelings hurt, or one member not getting along with another, or threads straying away from any semblance of truth. I only move posts on rare occasions and it is usually to stop a problem from happening before it picks up steam. To all members, we are not special. We are humans with all the flaws of everyone else, we here are no better or worse than every other poor sap living a crummy life in a dying world. Our probems are the same as everyone else's out there; the only difference is we know the "good news" and we know where our hope is. We also know that for every trial there is a purpose.
Some here are very sensitive, some are happy go lucky, some are serious, some are depressed, some are hurting. Do we sound any different than everyone else in the world? If you are a member of the forum and you look for a reason to get your feelings hurt, then guess what? you will find it here, so I suggest you grow a backbone. If you are happy as a clam and nothing bothers you then good for you, but remember some here are in a dark place. If you want to be serious about everything posted here then you will be disappointed because we don't take ourselves very seriously. If you are depressed don't expect the forum to dig you out, we can give you support and prayers but we can't change your circumstances. If you are hurting we can hurt with you but we can't stop the hurt. If you want to look for an ulterior motive of a person or their posts then I think you can spend your time in much more productive endeavours. If we all lived beside of each other I would probably be close friends with a handful of you, be non commital about the majority of you and could not stand a few of you. That is O.K and is typically human, but we all have a common bond that should allow us to overlook each others faults inside this forum.
So now that I've stepped on about everyones feet, have at me, I don't get paid enough with this gig to care. But I do care that God is using me for some purpose, though I do wonder what. I care that the forum stays halfway focused on the truths presented by Ray Smith, and I care enough to move some of your posts before you step in it too deep. Maybe another moderator will move mine.
Craig
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Women rule the world. They are the enemy..... but I still love the enemy. Best I can do Guy's. Life is good, and I find my turtle Hank down by the creek today... oh yes, he had been missing for a couple of days. God Bless Ray.
Longhorn
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Until Arc and Ninny post, my previous thoughts are only temporary.
Longhorn
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Craig you have a way of putting it all in perspective, I guess that is the male brain operating at it's best 8)
And longhorn you always pop in with levity to keep things from getting too serious (http://bestsmileys.com/farmer/1.gif)
Kat
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I want to say to all the people that got upset because my husband didn't mention them in the beginning of this thread. It was not his intention to hurt anyone's feelings. He picked those names because thought they would give some insightful answers or a funny response.
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Find the lookalikes showing up on this thread...Claudia...I see you as the adorable little girl with an angel face, lamb blond hair, ribbons in pigtails, and Craig you've got to be the sweetie pie with the crew cut and glasses! I am the kid at the back, all out of tune and dancing to her own band! :D... Where's everyone?
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZdPCCKPDBY&feature=related
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpzUIs7MFDU&feature=related
We are all, just simply irreplaceable! ~ :D :)
Arc
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Claudia, I'm banging my head here, you try to want the high road now after I responded to you in the thread, unbelievable. After I moved your post as far as I was concerned it was forgotten I didn't even give it another thought. I did not feel the need to even pm it was not a big deal to me. But you obviously felt differently, you brought it back up and instead of doing it by pm (as you should have) you chose to use the forum. Since you insisted on a public display I honored your request.
All members are deficient in some way or another you or I are no exception. If you are disillusioned with the forum then as I said you under no obligation to stay. I am growing tired of trying to help keep some peace and be cognizant of others feelings only to have a few members taking little jabs here and there publicly or privately (and you are guilty of this). Also a disillusioned member is like a cancer that spreads their disease to others with pm's and other communication. Sweet words are exchanged, encouragement is metted out, an us against them mentality is planted and poison is harvested. It has happened on the forum in the past and it is just beginning to rear its ugly head again. Members leave and join another forum or band together to create their own forum or fellowship. I have personally wished them well in their endeavor. But guess what? this forum is still here and their feel good forum has faded away. If God blesses something it will stand if not it won't.
Now if anyone feels disillusioned and has a legitimate gripe, suggestion or way to improve the forum anyone can pm or contact any of the moderators and we will consider what you say, the forum is a living breathing entity. You may not agree with our decision, I have found that we can't please everyone. We try our best, we are fairly successful to keep the forum focused on its teachings, we are fairly successful of keeping out debate and we are fairly successful at keeping strife to a minimum. Are we perfect?...no. Can we improve?...yes. Can we make everyone happy?...no. If a member becomes disillusioned with the forum can we change their thinking?...no
Craig
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Hank now has a bright red number 3 painted on his shell...... if he wonders again... he's on his own.
Longhorn
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@craig...so many words spoken in your post. i have felt a deep appreciation, and brotherly love for you ever since i first started reading your posts way back when. ;) i believe that your post response was directed to me for the most part, then to those who (can, at times) get their feelings hurt, and to those who are very sensitive, etc. since you are also apparently including me in this deficient group of members (need to grow a backbone ???), i believe your response would have been better served in a pm to me. but, since you rather chose to respond within the thread, as to why my post was removed, i will do likewise. however, it would be wrong for me to do that on this thread. i will respond to some of the specifics you brought up at a later time, on a new topic thread.
@samson...this thread topic is very interesting, enlightening, and at times hilarious.
Hi Claudia,
My apologies that you originally "might" have felt that I was intending to secure answers from those that are part of some inner circle. Of course, you noticed my Wife's response. She made that response while I was at work last night without My endorsement, another personality trait that has lead to Her Mental Health demise; ie- attempting to fix hurt feelings, " to please," everyone, etc. In a balanced way, attempting to please other people & try to reconcile differences is healthy, I fall into that category too.
My intention was to just randomly, at that Posting moment, choose names that would approach this Topic from a different angle. As Moises recognized, I didn't list Unmarried Members with the exception of John from Kentucky, for His Humor sarcastic approach & John Michael, because He Has had experience & success with assisting Couples by providing interpretation for their misunderstandings of their Mars/Venus Brains. Craig for Comedy, Kat, Arcturus, Gena & Rene for Wisdom provided regarding the Female Brain and helpful insights towards gaining a better understanding to this Age Long conflict. All of them lived up to My expectations, including Grace & Moxicarose.
Of course, those recommendations in my original Post were not meant to be all inclusive, by any means. Actually, I probably would have listed you and Eileen Knight, but I haven't noticed the two of you on the Forum lately, so you Gals slipped my mind. In passing, I slightly noticed approximately, a week ago, a Thread Eileen Knight started a week ago about breaking someone's heart, not really having interest, not because I dislike Eileen Knight, but I glanced over it thinking: Boy, some Woman would be fortunate, at Her Age, to look good enough to break hearts. In all honesty, aside from Kat, John Popovich & John Michael Abercrombie, I don't hardly communicate with any Forum Members. Craig, I hardly ever conversed with, aside from a very few PM's, that were mostly Yes & No responses, that includes Dennis too. I even asked Craig to be Friends on Facebook and He never responded. Joe Ferra(Hillsbororiver) told me that Craig doesn't even go to Face Book too much, so I didn't take offense. Moxicarose made a very interesting Post on this Thread and I didn't even think of Her. I'm certainly not ignoring Moises, He's provided some very interesting Threads & Posts. He had one on General Discussions recently that seemed to require much thought and I never responded, because I will sometimes avoid Threads that require too much reflection, thought, insight and research for a fear that I won't answer in the right way and look stupid and not be thorough enough, not feeling able to INVEST THE TIME, right now. Occasionally, that includes Arcturus too, she's very intelligent and to respond to some Her Posts would require too many Brain Cells and Deep thought for me to respond, at least, at that particular time. Sometimes, I see a Thread and don't have the time to invest an intelligent answer and time will pass by and I forget about that Thread, so My apologies to others, as well.
Claudia, I hope the above, makes some sort of sense to you, I noticed that Marques showed good Wisdom to abstain from this Thread, ;D, Samson.
claudia
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Hi Responders & Others,
I will attempt to insert quotes from responders with My reply. Kat told me how to copy a particular quote from the Posts desired & put into my white Post area, I don't even know what I'm doing. I want to learn how to insert part of quote like others do, where it has your name, I don't know how to do that.
CRAIGS FIRST POST: Thanks for the Humor, for Me, it's the Knicks & Mets won the championship & We made Love too, ;D.
Deborah's Post: The so much part is that any reason is simply a figment of a self justification of which Pam is aloof and beyond such denigrations and or constructs of a human ego, presenting for itself, its case for, or against a motion. Hence that reply, it is what it is, means the highest form by which the actual statement is, I love you and so there is nothing else to say of the matter. Let’s move on, my way that is in harmony, joy and appreciation for being able to let go of self justification. It is what it is.
Comment: Yes Deborah, it's true, no justification required, none really sought from Me, it's more of an obsession needing to know THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING, motivated sometimes by fear of the unknown of what a Woman might unexpectingly bring my way. Does that make any sense to you, ;).
FROM JOHN MICHAEL: Sometimes I truly think that God separated not only His masculinity and femininity when He created Man and Woman, but that He also separated His Mind and Heart. One would be ruled by one, and the other would be ruled by the other. The joining of the two would reflect His completeness (granted, in an imperfect way).
Comment: Often True, but not written in stone, as others have expressed, great insightful post. You would make a good Marriage Counselor, forget the Criminal Justice pursuit, help us poor Married couples, ;).
From Moxicarose: My husband and I will be married 12 years this August, and we are different as day and night when it comes to how we view things most of the time! And yes, I know that's the condition of the majority of married couples. Venus/Mars and all that. Tongue But I think it's interesting that what Samson said about wanting to know the reason behind his wife's doings and her frustration with his analytical tendency actually is the OPPOSITE for me and my husband. I am the one who wants to know why and he is the one who is happy with it just being what it is. I have a mind that spins a million miles a minute and he can fall asleep in 6 seconds flat. (While I am sorting thoughts and asking God to let the spinning slow down enough for me to sleep) The emotional side of things is still mine, of course...so not only am I analytical, but i go through the confusion of my own feelings and try to analyze them as well..Meanwhile my husband forgets that i deal with these things and wonders what crawled under my skin..Haha! He really is so comfy in his own skin. He actually isn't really that frustrated with me ever, and that frustrates me! I want him to seem like he cares more than he does because I feel all alone being so concerned with figuring things out...
balance.
balance needs to happen. Smiley
Comment: The Analytical Women with the Emotional nuances. This is an interesting combination. I WAS Married to someone like that. That Kind of Women, for Me, usually makes a good friend for me, but, as my current Wife observed, is a bad mix for a relationship, sorta like Ray's Unequally Yoked Article describes, an unequal personality mix, mainly due to the over analyzing of every emotional nuance & detail that their Hormones might dictate & more. John Michael pointed this out to me.
From Kat: Another thing I will say is I think God made a means by which in relationships, with the combination of these different strengths and weaknesses of our genders, to enriching our knowledge (physical that is). Because each brings their own gender perspective that can add greatly to the understanding of the other. As well as all the joys and pleasures of you can have in a relationship there is the inevitable problems, which are great avenue for trials and tribulations and if we are to be overcomers, we need something to overcome. So it seems to me this whole male-female thing was design to make possible a great part of the good and evil experiences that we have in this life. I will just leave it at that.
Comment: Your Husband's response about the Rain is quite similar to what my response. Of course, an added factor for Me is that: " I hate rain," I'm consistent about that. We would have to go without Rain for two months up here before you heard a peep from Me. " It never rains in California(Southern Mississippi), Girl don't they warn Ya."
Gena's Response: Conclusion Samson??? It may be more like brains are just different period!!! Wink And Lord I don't know why HE made us all this way!!
Comment: I concur Gena ! On an intellectual level, I do understand, it's on the emotional level, I have yet to come to grips with.
Moises Response: ps. Samson, I hope these thread don't get you in any more little troubles
Comment: I welcome Your response on any Thread I start, but as you figured out, I didn't think to list you as a primary responder, because of Your being Single and asking me for advice in PM's regarding relationships. Asking Me for advice, can you imagine that, ;D. I'm afraid this entire world is going to give all of us trouble, Lets not go looking for it, ;).
Grace's Response: Believe it or not but, like you, I used to want an analysis and detailed information about everything and I would also analyze and give detailed information about everything. I would like to think I'm different now but, probably not. Grin . At least you realize you are this way....I didn't even know I was like that until I started noticing people yawn sometimes when I was giving my analysis and details. Cheesy I do see how God is working on me in this area though because just like I said at the beginning of this post....now, I give quick answers at times and don't give details or reasons for them and even with that they can be misunderstood or seem "short" to others and I usually get myself in trouble if I don't explain myself (go figure!). My husband was just the opposite too. He never explained anything and I took everything he said the wrong way.
Comment: Grace, You have nothing to apologize for. By the way, I value John Michael's opinion and He speaks very highly of you. Regarding the Yawning, I often tell my wife that She probably broke the Guiness world record for Yawns. You other comments somewhat parallel Moxicarose. Actually Kat's very analytical too, no Girly Girl Bimbo in Her, She's Analytical without the emotional nuances. By the way, I wasn't implying that you were a Girly Girl Bimbo, actually, that's a term My wife came up with, ::).
Well, aside from Longhorn's Humor, as expected & appreciated, that should cover it, aside from those like Daywalker who acknowledged their pleasure & agreement. Rene said She would be annoyed with Me too, kind of anticipated She would have been, ;D, I can be a very annoying person, mainly due to my hyperactivity & nervous energy, ask My wife, ;).
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Hi Samson,
Try this.
Text in 'quote' box:
To take a certain section of a post and put it in your post in a darkened 'quote' box, you need to;
Go to the post you want to quote and take your curser (the arrow on the page) to the first word and left click it on the first word and hold the clicker down and drag it over the line and go down over the entire text you want to quote. Now with this darkened you can right click and then click the 'save' option and you have it saved to use where you want.
Now you can go to your message box and put your curser where you want the text to come up on the page and click there so your curser will blink where you want the text to be on the page. Now right click and click on the 'paste' option. This will bring up the text you want to quote.
Now drag your curser over it again and darken it again. Go to the icons and look for the little box that says 'insert quote' and click on it. This puts the BB code on either side of the text in your message box, but it will come up in the darkened box on your post. You can 'preview' it before you post if you like.
Kat
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To all my brothers and sisters;
This thread got me thinking about one of the first papers of Ray's that Samson read to me. I like re-reading sometimes because it makes me remember that all of us are not going to be the same and we will be unevenly yoked. Here are some of the main points of that paper:
[Marriage and Unbelievers]
Many have read the passage in the Bible where Paul admonishes: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," and have then assumed from it, all kinds of restrictions on Christian marriages. What constitutes an unequally yoked together marriage, or for that matter, an equally yoked together marriage?
Many will be shocked to learn that this verse is not referring to "marriage" at all.
The phrase "unequally yoked together" is not a phrase that signifies a "marriage." Nonetheless, in principle it certainly applies to marriage.
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, says the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" (II Cor. 6:14-18).
The phrase "unequally yoked together" is the translation of just one Greek word, heterozugeo, which is a compound word that means, "to yoke up differently; to associate discordantly; unequally yoke together." It is used but this one time in the Bible.
The word "yoke" means a coupling as when two oxen are coupled or yoked together by a pulling beam to do work such as plowing a field or pulling a wagon.
So what did Paul mean by all these? Well, first of all it is not possible to live in a country, state, county, city, or village without constantly coming in contact with just such persons. Even Jesus Himself prayed and specified to His Father exactly how He desired for us to live under such circumstances in this life:
Joh 17:15 I pray not that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil.
In a sense Jesus was requesting that His disciples would "not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers."
So how do we apply these verses to marriage? Was Paul suggesting that members of the Corinthian Church congregation could not and should not marry other members of the congregation? NO. He was very specific: "Be ye not unequally yoked together with UNBELIEVERS." Were they all spiritually converted? NO. Could a spiritually-minded Corinthian marry a carnal-minded Corinthian? Good question. Are not all "believers" spiritual-minded and all "unbelievers" carnally-minded? Let's back up to Paul's first epistle to these same Corinthians:
1Co 3:1 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.
1Co 3:2 I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.
1Co 3:3 For ye are yet carnal..."
I have personally seen marriages between a believer and a non-believer that were more loving and equally yoked than some marriages between two believers. So we need to pay close attention to ALL the words of these profound Scriptures.We can advise and try to help people see different aspects of a situation. We can relay our own personal knowledge of such things. But we should not get involved in being overly righteous in these matters lest we be guilty of "forbidding to marry" (I Tim. 4:3), which is a doctrine of demons (Verse 1).
I know that this is only some of what Ray's paper points out. IMO it states that we can and probably will be unevenly yoked to alot of people, does that mean we don't associate with them...NO! We can also apply this to marriage, some marriages last along time if the pair are the same, sometimes not. My husband and I are like water and vinegar, we just are not alike at all. When you add a little spice to our mix of water and vinegar it makes are marriage work. I can say that we have a very living relationship, not only is he my husband, he is also my best friend. Well, I talked long enough, and Samson will say thats more then I usually say.
your sister,
Pam
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Hi Pam
I thoroughly enjoyed that study and insight Ray provided for us. Especially: The phrase "unequally yoked together" is not a phrase that signifies a "marriage." L Ray Smith....it applies to marriage...as Ray points out, yet is not soley speaking of marriage!
That sure put things into perspective.
Hi Samson
You convey measured and valuable affirmations of encouragement. Also you seemingly effortlessly bring to the surface very significant observations. eg
Quote :... an obsession needing to know THE REASON FOR EVERYTHING, motivated sometimes by fear of the unknown...\
This says to me...obsession : the need to know the reason for everything.
God IS everything.
Going deeper...just for a second....obsession : the need to limit the un-limitable. Or the need to control God and knowing you can’t, and being afraid, being very afraid, because you know you can’t and you still try anyway, so you scare yourself to death trying! ~lol.... :D
.....perfect love casts out fear...~ :)
Arc
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For me, personally, I can relate to those that have Analysis-based brains and well as Emotional-based ones. I tend to be split, somewhat, equally down the middle. It can be a headache and a curse at times.
For example, here's a fictitious scenario:
I see a friend has a booger hanging out of his nose.
The logical answer would be to tell him. However, I take 10 minutes deciding whether or not to tell him because I don't want to embarrass him. My mind is analyzing every nuance of how he would take it. "Will he be embarrassed? How can I say this to avoid that? How should I say it so as to minimize any embarrassment? Should I just leave it be? Would he tell me if the roles were reversed? Would he want me to tell him?" Etc.
Sometimes I wish my brain had an "OFF" switch that I could push. I really do. ;D
John
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For me, personally, I can relate to those that have Analysis-based brains and well as Emotional-based ones. I tend to be split, somewhat, equally down the middle. It can be a headache and a curse at times.
For example, here's a fictitious scenario:
I see a friend has a booger hanging out of his nose.
The logical answer would be to tell him. However, I take 10 minutes deciding whether or not to tell him because I don't want to embarrass him. My mind is analyzing every nuance of how he would take it. "Will he be embarrassed? How can I say this to avoid that? How should I say it so as to minimize any embarrassment? Should I just leave it be? Would he tell me if the roles were reversed? Would he want me to tell him?" Etc.
Sometimes I wish my brain had an "OFF" switch that I could push. I really do. ;D
John
JohnMichael,
I can't help but respond to this. I'm laughing my head off as I read this......How well I can relate!! I'm not so much like that now but, let me tell ya....I went in the other direction and just blurt it out now and you still will get the same type of responses if you tell them they have a booger on their nose immediately and when you wait 10 minutes..... ;D ;D
Grace
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Well, you were right! It definitely hasn’t been boring! :D
I have to look at my family here to formulate a response. When we began our marriage almost 20 years ago, I was the analytical one with the big mouth who said whatever I thought whenever I felt like it. I had a very small filter.
Hubby on the other hand, took WAY too much crap for my liking and could ignore me when I wanted to fight! How dare he.
After all these years, I find myself the one with the best filter and he takes ZERO crap! We seem to have melded together or taken in/on each other’s strengths. We appreciate one another so much.
My husband being the peaceful type was attracted to my kick butt and take no prisoners type. He to this day LOVES female heroine movies and characters. Not because that is who I am by any means but that is how he sees me. How precious is that?
And I was equally attracted to a person with amazing self-control who had such a servant’s heart to others and so much mercy for the downtrodden that I didn’t and still do not possess like he does.
So to answer your initial question about WHY I have to say that it is because we’d be bored out of our minds living with someone who didn’t challenge us or who thought just like us and I can’t see us growing out of ourselves at all.
I have always been interested in personality types and I truly believe that our strengths are also our greatest weaknesses if we do not reign them in. I think finding a mate who is unlike ourselves is one way that God uses to hold up a mirror and show us how to tame those traits and use them as He intended. And I think my children are better for having to live with and deal with people who are so very different in how we interact with the world. We get to guide the one who is like us to grow in her strengths and we get to teach them to appreciate one another and learn from each other.
So as irritating as it can be to live with such an annoying person sometimes, ;D :D ;), it has so many benefits!
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Hi Linny ~ you absolutely echo what has also happened in my marriage too! It is like an identity swop in a few character traits that were totally alien to me when I first met my husband.
I have learned things I did not want to learn and have changed in ways I could never imagine possible! ~ :D I found this quote today that I think fits ....
... there is a Chinese proverb: Great doubts deep
wisdom. Small doubts little wisdom.
Never stop doubting, never stop questioning, never,
ever assume you have all the answers. Having all the
answers kills the question itself; renders it lifeless --
and you, too...
Keep looking, keep seeking. Never, ever find it all.
Because when you find it all, you deny that there is
more. And there is never not more.
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Wow, Arc, you just handed me another favorite quote! Once my husband sees that, he'll ask me to make something with it. ;D
Thanks!
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~ :)Luk 1:33 .............. and of His kingdom there shall be no end. ~ :)
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Here's one my daughter told me:
Men are like waffles: all compartmentalized; one thing at a time please
Women are like spaghetti: we are all over the place
:D ;D
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thanks Arc, this fits this thread perfectly:
... there is a Chinese proverb: Great doubts deep
wisdom. Small doubts little wisdom.
Never stop doubting, never stop questioning, never,
ever assume you have all the answers. Having all the
answers kills the question itself; renders it lifeless --
and you, too...
Keep looking, keep seeking. Never, ever find it all.
Because when you find it all, you deny that there is
more. And there is never not more.
I think Samson will always question and will always hunt for a reason, I do believe that is one reason I love him and another reason it drives me nuts!!!
Gmik...you said alot with so little...men can be like waffles, but once you had all the syrup they become soft, so IMO only had enough syrup to keep them tough but easy to handle!
Linny, I hope after 20 years Brad and I can become like this:
After all these years, I find myself the one with the best filter and he takes ZERO crap! We seem to have melded together or taken in/on each other’s strengths. We appreciate one another so much.
To all of these ladies I thank you!
To my friend JohnMichael please whatever you do if you ever see a booger hanging out of my nose please tell me, don't let it just hang there. I would tell you! I have something else to let your brain going......do you tell a total stranger his zipper is down and the horse is looking through the barn door or do you walk away and laugh to yourself?
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John Michael if I pulled that booger out, there would go half of my brain.
CRaig
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lol.... :D :D :D :D :D :D
Craig, you never seem to surprise! thanks for the laugh!
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All this has made me laugh! Samson...when I read the title of the thread...I KNEW it was yours before I even saw your name!! Do I know you or WHAT?? hehe!!
Craig...you're too funny...Longhorn..SCORE!!! Women rule the world!!
Now I will tell you simply guys...here is the answer...as if you ALL didn't already answer it!!! ;D In July I will have been married...for 40 stinking years! To the same pig headed man who never listens to a thing I say!! Yeah...I'm bitter!! but on to the topic...
In a nutshell...when a woman says.." I wonder....." Don't just jump in and give the answer..."I wonder" is rhetorical...remember that! Then when she says to you, "UGH! Every time I try to ..... it comes out wrong!!!" Don't jump in there and solve the problem!!!! I LIKE to work on a problem for hours!!! I don't need no man to take my tools and say, "HERE! Let ME show you how to do it!" :P
NEVER, EVER roll your eyes at her when she tells you she wants to plant some more tomatoes!! Listen here...when I tell my husband I want to buy some CD's (recorded ones, not the money kind) He looks at me like I have a screw loose and says, "BUY CD's??? Why don't you just listen to the radio??? Oh...yeah...he has an answer for everything!! So, dudes...when your woman opens her mouth to talk...that is your cue to ...shut up and listen!!! You don't have to like it, comment on it, OR solve it! Just listen!!!
SAMSON!!! Are you listening to me??? Ha!! I knew you had fallen asleep over there!
So, here it is...Women are talkers and Men are problem solvers....period...We talk about our problems and YOU try to solve them!! Bad!! hmph!
BUT NEVER under ANY circumstances are you to ask your woman a question and then walk away while she's still talking!!! BAD!!!
Like I always say...that's the way I see it!!
Kathy ;)
P.S. You men on this forum know I love ya!! But you'd better take my advice...or I'm gonna kick your butts!! I know...I'm only 5 feet tall...but I have a step ladder and I know how to use it!!!
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Hello Samson and everyone.
Wow, what a nerve one can hit, to this age long misunderstanding about man and women.
Hope this helps http://youtu.be/bY4DzpUKjl8
Walt.
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Oh..Crazy4bam, if you're around here long enough..you'll find that Dep'ty Fife over there..is a serious law enforcement officer..oh..yeah...when something's going on around here..when we're playing a little too crazy and partying a little too hard...one of us stands guard at the door and watches for him...cause, he'll just come right in and nip it in the bud!! heh heh! *sniff* (He ain't allowed to have no bullets in his gun, though!) ;D ;D
You know I love ya, Craig!!
Kathy ;)
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Ninny,
You're hilarious! ;D Your post made me crack up! I'm glad someone came in here to lighten things up today!
Pam,
I haven't really met you yet, I don't think but...Hi!!!
You two are still pretty young...just wait until your husband pulls up to a mailbox and tries to order a burger and fries from the "speaker box" ;D...then we might need to study that female/male brain thing a little deeper.
(Craig's gun....shhhhh...but I've been told you better beware....it's one of those Tonka specials and I hear they are deadly, with bullets of course but, we know Andy won't let him have any today so it's ok)
Grace
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Ninny,
You're hilarious! ;D Your post made me crack up! I'm glad someone came in here to lighten things up today!
Pam,
I haven't really met you yet, I don't think but...Hi!!!
You two are still pretty young...just wait until your husband pulls up to a mailbox and tries to order a burger and fries from the "speaker box" ;D...then we might need to study that female/male brain thing a little deeper.
(Craig's gun....shhhhh...but I've been told you better beware....it's one of those Tonka specials and I hear they are deadly, with bullets of course but, we know Andy won't let him have any today so it's ok)
Grace
Grace,
After reading the Thread(s): Male/Female Brain; Guilty & Ranting On, it's like giving birth to Psychotherapist, ::). I feel like I made a quest appearance on the Dr. Phil Show & The View.
Ninny, Just for your information: Crazy4BAM was formerly, The Frecklegirl(Pam), My Wife. By your statement:"If Your around here long enough," I gathered that you didn't know that. Well, I hope She's around here long enough, if it's part of God's Will, She will be around here long enough, ;).
Well, one thing all of us that responded would agree on, IT WASN'T BORING. Thanks to the usually expected ones that kept this Thread from being boring and some unexpected ones that threw Me a curve, that kept this from being boring, ;), ;D.
Keep on Trucking, Samson.