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=> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship => Topic started by: SandyFla on August 25, 2007, 09:48:48 PM

Title: Utter despair
Post by: SandyFla on August 25, 2007, 09:48:48 PM
<My apologies for this post, but I've just got to get it out...>

I don't know what is going to become of me. I have been looking for a job for over a year and have been unemployed for almost a month. Attempts to start my own business have met with failure. Everything I do meets with failure. Since losing my job, I have been at peace and have been trusting God for bright new start - until today. I just lost it. Totally lost it. I feel like I'm going to end up becoming a bag lady, and thoughts of suicide sound good. I even know how I will do it.

I keep thinking about James 1:6-7 that says, "But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord."

So, I guess, there's my answer.

But how can I stay positive and trust God 100% of the time when one thing after another fails? Plus, the feeling of utter hopelessness hits me so fast, I don't even see it coming. I can go from being happy and content one second, to utter despair the next. IN JUST ONE SECOND!!! How can I stop it from happening? I can't expect God to do anything for me if I have these shifting feelings, as the verses above state so clearly. So I might as well stop praying because it's a sham, and God knows it. How can He let me to fall into despair instantaneously, then expect me to "just snap out of it"? I CAN'T! It's a depression so deep and black, that I'm at the bottom before I have a chance to cry, "Lord, help me!" Why is God doing this to me? Maybe He does want me to kill myself. Maybe that is His will.
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: brandon h on August 25, 2007, 10:25:35 PM
"And we know all good things work together for those that love God, to them that are called accordong to his purpose"(Rom 8-28)

SandyFla,

Do you believe you are called according to his purpose? I have been in a position similar to yours. In fact, my wife has as well. Your doing fine, then it's one negative thought after another. But, wouldn't you know that I look back and realize that through those times God instilled in me the spirit to be a fighter. To never lose hope in him. And trust me, it's still tested, almost daily.

The plans he has for you are too deep for you to see right now, and as a brother in the Lord, I pray that you will pray and rebuke tose suicidal thoughts out of your head! He has not left you. He will never forsake you. You will be stronger through this. Your foundation is being shaken. Sons and daughters of the kingdom can't be weak at heart, so he tests us constantly. And while it feels like our world is falling apart, we are becoming stronger. Not because we feel it but because he makes us weak. When we are trained in stepping out in weakness, we are all the more closer to God. I hope my post titled"FINALLY, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord", will encourage you. But regardless you have a fellowship here that will be praying for you to stand strong in the Truth. Keep us updated on how you are, and don't entertain those thoughts that come from the evil one.

We are here for you

God Bless
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: pylady on August 25, 2007, 11:09:50 PM
Dear, dear sister,

Please, please do not do anything foolish.  You will be in my prayers, and I know in the prayers of every brother or sister who reads your post.  Please feel our arms around you to comfort you in the spirit.

I, too, have known depression.  Life sometimes brings us to our knees, where all we can do is cry out to our Lord for mercy.  And I have seen that while He does answer our prayers, most of the time it is not as fast as we would like it.
We want an immediate answer when we are suffering.  But we must TRUST,
TRUST, TRUST in Him to give us relief at just the right time.  It is so hard not to lean on our own understanding, but to blindly trust in Him.  But we must.

And, really, dear sister, do we know what our life will be like tomorrow? Something could change tomorrow, or everything could change we don't know.
We are blind to what each day will bring for us.  Tomorrow may be a wonderful day for you.  If not, maybe next week.  But it will come.

Please don't despair.  We know our Lord loves us - He suffered and died to prove His love.  And He has told us He knows what we need and will not abandon the righteous that seek Him.  He tell us not to be anxious about tomorrow, but just take care of today. 

One thing I noticed when I was feeling like you are now.  My thoughts were continually negative, and out of control.  Depression is literally all in our minds.
With prayer, and God's help we CAN control our thoughts.  I have learned (and I have always had  a tendency toward depression) that when I find myself spiralling down in my thoughts to immediately prayer for God's spirit for help to remove those thoughts from my mind.  Then I have to replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.  You may have to do this with almost every thought for awhile.  But you will find after you do this for awhile the demons in your mind will leave you in peace.   Reading the scriptures really helps!

But what helps most is to remember that this "experience of evil" which we call life is only our temporary life.  Meditate on what your future will be like in or under God's kingdom.  Think of all the people who have died who will have such wonderful stories to tell us, think of your ancestors you will get to meet.  Think of what wonderful work God may have planned for us to do.  Let your imagination take you there.  It helps to think of exciting and happy times. 

We cannot solve your financial problems for you.  But know that you are loved.
You will be in my prayers.  May our loving Father bring you relief soon.

With Christian love,

              Cindy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on August 26, 2007, 01:29:12 AM
I will be praying for you Sandy in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

I feel you are being tried and will come through it strengthened with spiritual growth.  It will come, there is no doubt.   :)

I don't know about your personal situation or family or what support you may have, but if you don't have any support and cannot find a job in your area and you would consider relocating to the Atlanta area, there is a spare room at my house for your needs.

May God's purposes be quick!  Amen.
With Christian love,
Janice


 

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: gmik on August 26, 2007, 01:49:50 AM
REJOICE IN THE LORD, AGAIN I SAY REJOICE

Sandy my heart goes out to you, I hurt w/ you.  I take 2 different meds for depression/anxiety.  I know the depths it can take you.   BUT.....obey the Word!!!!  Fake it till its real.  Self talk ....

I CAN DO THIS.  THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD...HE IS FAITHFUL TO ME...HE WILL PROVIDE...I AM WORTHY AS A PERSON..SO MUCH SO THAT HE DIED FOR ME  etc etc  repeat your favorite passages...

I can't stress this enough  THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS...know you are not alone and cast down those imaginations..

and thank you so much for getting it out- there is nothing wrong w/ that..actually it can be quite good for you-like feeling better after throwing up!!

We love you and DON'T GIVE UP.
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Robin on August 26, 2007, 06:59:19 AM
SandyFla,

I am praying for you.

I went through this. I know now it was in God's plan. I could not find a job to save my life. I was so depressed that I could not get up off the floor. The kids and I were hungry. It was right at the time when God was bringing me out of the church. We ate top ramen and beans for 6 months. I was so afraid. I already felt crazy because I couldn't find anyone who believed the way I did. All my friends at the church were treating me like I was crazy and putting me down.

It was a very hard time and I was seriously depressed. I was in a small apartment with no windows. It was above a catering business where I worked. The business went under and I found myself unemployed.

God was using all of this to separate me from carnal desires. It was all a part of the process. I can remember toward the end of it I felt Jesus call me as he had so many times before. It seemed so dark this time. I was afraid of where he was taking me. I asked him where we were going now? I immediately had the scripture come to mind that where I go you cannot follow. I then had a vision of Christ on the cross and really realized that he died for me. It was a personal experience and he showed me in a very personal way that he died for me. He also gave me a promise then that he would write his laws on my heart and gather me together with other believers. I went into the wilderness after that and didn't learn anything new for ten years. I went through so much grief. I missed God so much and he remained silent. I prayed for a teacher and here I am. He did gather me together with other believers and started teaching me again through Ray.

I felt suicidal many times because God took me to some very deep levels in order to heal me. There were times I was terrified. Most of the time I was very much alone. I can remember telling God I wasn't going to make it and he was going to have to carry me if I was going to survive. He did carry me and I did survive. He gave me a job after that and ten years later I did start my own business. I learned that I can do nothing and have nothing unless God allows it. Every meal is a gift.

God has to become our all. The only way he can do that is by stripping us of worldly things and separating us so we put our trust in him alone. It's a very painful process. The carnal mind does not want to die. Suicide is actually the last ditch effort for the carnal mind to save itself. It the last action of control. With God's grace we go beyond that. He overcame the world.

John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Hebrews 12
 1Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,

 2Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

3For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.


Matthew 19
27Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore?

 28And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on August 26, 2007, 08:29:28 AM
Dear Sandyfla

Now think about this for a minute.  I mean our judgment is now, we are before the judgment seat of Christ now, judgment is upon the House of God now (1Peter 4:17). http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5312.0.html


It is not the Will of God that we self destruct. It might be in the Plan that we do such a thing but God's Will is life not death. I believe our  victory is not in this life but in the life to Resurrection and not the life of mortality or prosperity now. Why do you think God made it that we are born young and die old and not the other way around? We suffer age, and debilitation as we encounter the lessons of the spirit and loose hold on the dependencies of the flesh. We are God's Children. We have to loose so much and then finally die before we are raised again to life in Christ who has victory over all the despair and suffering that He too encountered in His life.

I know you say you have contemplated how you would kill yourself but I do not believe you are trying to die but live and can not find the way. Though you know how to end your life it is not life I believe you desire to end but the PAIN. It is the pain you want to end.  It is the pain you want to escape, not life. The pain, Sandy is proof positive of your share in the cross of Christ I believe.

Pain has a very clinical way of ending our carnality and showing us how weak we are. For some, I believe Jesus wants to reveal that truth and experience. It is a hideously difficult experience and one that can not be survived without His decree. He is the King of everything you are experiencing.
 
I believe if we carry the Cross of Christ He leads us to the point where we can truly from experience say, the life you live is not your own. The pain you experience is a share in His pain.We each, who are chosen, carry the cross of the lot in life that Jesus knows is best for our advancement into His Kingdom. He is not a cruel God. He is sharing with you the suffering He has known and this is your bond with the King of Glory not in this life but in the one to come God Willing.

There is nothing you/we can do without Him.

His Plan may appear like death, BUT His Will is LIFE not as we know life but as HE knows it.

I hope this has lifted you just a breath of the time taken for you to read this Sandyfla. Pain is beyond anything we can fully comprehend. It will take the Life of Christ to bring us all through His Plans. He shares the intimacy of His Cross with very few I believe. Non can endure save those He equips.

He is changing your priorities. He is changing your attachments. He is changing your dependencies. He is changing your conclusions. He is doing the same job on all of His children. In the unity of His Cross we are on the way to His Kingdom that no job can buy and no comfort of earth can match.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him.  Romans 15:13

Peace to you sister

Arcturus :)

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Robin on August 27, 2007, 02:38:20 AM
I've been praying for you today Sandyfla.

Please check in when you can. Talking about it helps.

Hugs,
MG
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on August 27, 2007, 03:22:11 AM
Still praying and waiting to hear from ya...

(http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z3/jbirdowens/DifferentRoses.jpg)

With love,
Janice
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Redbird on August 27, 2007, 11:14:33 AM
Dear Sandy,

Several years back, when I was feeling betrayed, heartache, sorrow and pain, and mostly like a failure, I ran across this poem;

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.  I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.  I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring you moon.  I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.  I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.  I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayel and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, everyday, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!".
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.  I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here.  I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.  I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I hope this speaks to you as it did me.  It reminds me of what is important.  We have to love ourselves, because.....We are to LOVE THE LORD OUR GOD and OUR NEIGHBOR AS OURSELVES.  Now, we can't do that too well, if we don't learn to love ourselves..... as God is creating us in his image.

Prayers are with you, Lisa
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: neeter on August 27, 2007, 12:50:25 PM
Sandy,

It is now Monday. Hopefully things are looking up from last week. Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I have been in that pit also.  2 years ago something happened, and I missed 6 days of work, unable to stop crying and unable to do anything. It was months before I could make it through a day dry-eyed....depression is a tough thing, you can't just "snap out of it"....and it doesn't just go away. Medicine helps...... i don't know if you have been to your doctor, but i started going through "the change" early (at age 46) and that can really mess with your head  :-\

Here I am babbling on.......You are in my prayers............DON'T GIVE UP.......YOU CAN WIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: neeter on August 28, 2007, 03:23:59 PM
 ???  ???  ???  ???

Sandy..............where are you??? it's tuesday......... :-\
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: gmik on August 28, 2007, 07:29:14 PM
Yes, please check in w/ us.  I know we all gave you loads of reading on this thread. Please let us know how you are doing.  If you don't I will think the "wrong thing".  Please don't let me think that!!! ;)

You are loved and wanted here!!!
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Shmeggly on August 29, 2007, 02:37:19 AM
SandyFla: 

Please hang in there!!!  I have just gone through depression exactly like you described....just blackness, and utter hopelessness.  I couldn't believe how bad it could get, and then it got worse!!! I laid in bed for days, crying and just hurting, and thinking of a reason not to kill myself.  I really didn't want to do that, I just didn't want to live with the pain anymore.

I'm telling you, I cried out to God (with anger, rage, pain etc) for real...and I still felt like I was dying...but somewhere along the line, I started to feel hope again.  And you know what, God could handle my anger, bitterness etc....He really is a loving Dad.  (I am a loving Dad, so I try to equate Him as a Dad!  But so much better...) 

I have been to the counsellor, doctor, been on antidepressants (quit because they made me sick tired weak and an insomniac!) and am still in the midst of the battle.  But somewhere in there, God gave me hope, and even though some days I feel myself drifting into hopeless thoughts, I can now stop thinking about them, and start to pray, which I never used to do.  I always gave up....

I just want to encourage you, and to let you know that I really do understand what utter hopelessness and blackness is all about.  And wondering where God is.  And wanting to die.  You are not alone....so please take care of yourself. 
I wish I could do something more for you...something practical, like a job etc....but I'm in Canada and I don't think you'd want to live somewhere this cold!!!  And in the middle of nowhere..

I too wondered if God wanted me to kill myself, but He did not and does not!!!  Please realize that.  It is not in His plan.  You will get through this, and you will be stronger than you've ever thought you could be.  You will be used by God...nobody can reach people and really understand the broken and hurting, until they've gone through something, like M.G. or some of the other people on here. 

I hope we hear from you soon...please PM me if you get a chance....James

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on August 29, 2007, 04:55:25 AM
Sandy if I remember correctly, in a recent post about counting how many times Jesus spoke of heaven versus hell, you worked up a study paper on it and offered a copy to anyone who so desired... and I had asked you for a copy.... and because you were away for awhile it took several days for you to send me a copy, which was great, thank you.

I can only hope you are "away" for a few days again and that all is well.

(http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z3/jbirdowens/SinglePinkBloom-1.jpg)

It will be good to hear from you when you return.

Bye and love,  :)
Janice
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: hillsbororiver on August 29, 2007, 07:22:57 PM
Hi Sandy,

Dear Sister I was hoping you would have checked back with us by now, many of us have been in that dark and lonely place you presently find yourself in, you have many brothers and sisters who are concerned about you and that are praying for you Sandy.

I won't bore you with a long story but I have been on the brink of just giving up, having nowhere to call home, no money, no job and being alone can do that to a person especially when you don't even have a knowledge of the Lord and His "bizarre" (to our minds) way of dealing with us as He molds us in His image. Our Lord felt the same (and worse) misery during His walk here too, He wanted to give up in despair (let this cup pass) but following the will of His Father prevailed over His heartache and dire circumstances, He overcame and through Him so will you.

Sandy I live right up the road from you in Tampa, perhaps you could contact me in regard to some sort of employment as I have many contacts in this part of the state. Please PM me in regard to this.

His Peace and Love to you Sister,

Joe
   

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Ward on August 29, 2007, 07:37:34 PM
Sandy:

Quote
I can't expect God to do anything for me if I have these shifting feelings, as the verses above state so clearly. So I might as well stop praying because it's a sham, and God knows it.

You got that right! God knows it! And it was exactly what he planned before you were even conceived.

Remember this...  Our prayers are not for God's benefit.  They are for ours.  He knows exactly what we need.  Remember the verses about the lilies of the field and the birds of the air.  Your prayers are not a surprise to God.  He is not disappointed in them or you.  Your comments about these prayers say one very strong thing to me.  They are working.  Not for what you had in mind, but for what God Willed.  You've noticed that they are nothing but a sham.  Well done...  God's Will is going to come about.  Your prayers don't change this.  Maybe that is too hard to accept, but it is true.

Quote
Why is God doing this to me? Maybe He does want me to kill myself. Maybe that is His will.

If your guess as to God's Will is true, can *you* do anything to overcome His Will?  (Answer Hint: NOPE!)  Can you add or take away even one nanosecond from the life that God has made for you? (Answer Hint: See previous hint)  Is any of this a 'Good thing'? (Answer Hint: Absolutely Yes!)

Maybe what I have written sounds harsh.  I really do care deeply about you.  I care deeply about all of the members and readers here.  But this life (age) is not meant to be comfortable.  Thankfully, it is only the tinest portion of deathlessness that we will ultimately be given.  It will have taught you (and each person) much, but it is nothing more than 'the blink of an eye' in reality.

By the way... If this life was full of comfort and ease, what would we have learned?  With the weak hearts we have started out with I think that a life of comfort and ease would breed much evil and sin.

So what is this life for?  Well, I don't claim to know any more than anybody else, but there is one obvious reason for this life.  To come to the ultimate truth, God is God.  Every aspect of this life is known by God.  When He caused you to exist He really did predestine and foreknow exactly how every single second of your life would be.  And there is a good reason for every one of those seconds. Even if we are too blind to see them at this time.

Just in case... That doesn't mean that I am telling you that you should just 'do nothing.'  To be blunt, you can't.  I'm not telling you that you should quit praying.  Instead, keep noticing what you are praying.  Is it for your will or His? 

Sandy, *my* will is that you would receive some comfort right now, but it is His that will be done.  I will be praying for your comfort, but mostly I will be thanking God for the fact that you are a part of this forum, this church.  And for all that He has given us all, thru you.

Hope some of this makes sense,

\/\/ard
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: pylady on August 29, 2007, 10:11:26 PM
Sandy,

Just wanted to add my voice to those who are hoping to hear from you.
Please know you have many friends who are praying for you.

With love,

              Cindy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Rene on August 29, 2007, 11:13:28 PM
Sandy,

I pray that you are being strengthened to endure your trials.  It is not easy to be longsuffering, but it is a fruit of God's Spirit and He can bless you to receive it.  Keep on praying!

Peace and His grace to you.

Rene'
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: javajoe on August 30, 2007, 01:19:31 AM
Hello everybody,  I am new to this forum.

I read Sandy's post and I can totally identify what she is going through.  I do through depression a lot, even having thoughts of suicide at times. 

Sandy, Here is a one of my favorite scriptures.  During those dark times, I believe God has a purpose for my good and His will:

Romans 8: 28:  And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose

Hope that helps.

Joe
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on August 30, 2007, 01:45:07 AM
Thank you for your heartfelt and insightful post JavaJoe!  Welcome very much to this forum!

This entire forum is in a pall, prayerfully waiting to hear from Sandy. 

I just gave Gena the last email address I had from her to perhaps try and touch base with her there.  With great hope she is starting to feel better or this has been an oversight on her part.

WE ALL KNOW GOD LOVES HER!

Thanks for joining in the expression of our love for her.

With hope on the horizon, we all look forward to talking with you and Sandy more soon.

Glory be to God,
Janice
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: dawnnnny on August 30, 2007, 03:45:21 AM
Janice, I'm relieved to hear that maybe Gena will be able to contact Sandy.  I had sent her a private message shortly after reading her post.  Every time I sign on, I check to see if I have any messages, but nothing  :(    She has been on my heart, as well as everyone else's.  I will continue in prayer for her. 
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: ez2u on August 30, 2007, 05:35:13 PM
Sandy lives in the same town as me.  She gave me her email address and a messenage she would like to get together.  I wrote her back but no answer and email wasn't picked up.  I know she lives with her parents. About where she lives but no address no phone #  prayer we needto dept her in our prayers Gods Will will be done.  Peggy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: bambam on August 30, 2007, 05:47:06 PM
God be with you!!  I've been in the dark loneliness of depression and my prayers are with you!  That is when I learned to wait.  Wait on God, wait for things to pass, and they always did.  Praying for peace for you!  Wait on God, if you can't do anything else, wait on Him, wherever you are right now!! 

"They that wait upon the Lord, shall RENEW their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles.  They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint!"  Isaiah 40:31

In Christ's love,
Beth
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: dawnnnny on August 31, 2007, 12:19:53 AM
Just thought I'd let everyone know that I received a PM from Sandy today!  She said she would post on this thread later.  I tried to respond to her PM but it said it was unable to locate her   :(     so Sandy, if you're reading this, I tried to reply!!!!  I'm so glad you are ok and we all look forward to hearing from you!

Much love,
Dawn
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: ez2u on August 31, 2007, 01:34:07 AM
Hi  just thought I would let you all know Sandy and I are going for some sinful coffee hopefully tomorrow anyway I have her phone # and she has mine.  please continue to pray for her,  Peggy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on August 31, 2007, 03:53:25 AM
WILL DO, AND GOTCHA...

*KISS*

 :-*
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Redbird on August 31, 2007, 08:47:57 AM
Thank you ez2u,

I also noticed that Sandy visited the forum just last night.

Peace to you, Lisa
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: neeter on August 31, 2007, 01:42:49 PM
 ;D  ;D  ;D  YOU'RE OK!!!!!!! (Whew!!!!!)

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: gmik on August 31, 2007, 04:43:07 PM
Praise His Name Forever!!!!

Peggy, you were exactly what the doctor ordered!!  Enjoy your coffee.  Tell Sandy how much she means to all of us.

God's mysteries are so great--didn't know you were living there for a reason, did ya???  God's plans intersect better than the World Wide Web!
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: LittleBear on August 31, 2007, 10:45:46 PM
I tried to PM Sandie, but it said that it was unable to locate her, so I'll post it here:

Hi Sandy,

I'm thankful you are alright (physically anyway). I just want you to know I'm with you and am praying for you that God will be a comfort to you.

It looks like most of us on this forum were or are experiencing wrenching trials and feeling despair, so we know what you are feeling and it is painful. I think it was Beloved that said that God is rearranging our priorities. That is so true. As much as it hurts right now, know that God has handpicked this trial for you just as He has handpicked the trial I am going through, every step of it. He doesn't mean harm for you, He means to take you through this, so that you will be stronger on the other side of it. Trust Him.

Trust Him.

I have a husband who has not worked for over a year and a half, has clinical depression and is a drug addict. I have a mind that can think of the worst case senario easily, and I've been there thinking that he is going to send us to the poor house (actually, I don't think there is such a thing, but you thinking about bag-ladyship know what I mean). I am learning to take one day at a time and not to think too much about the future. This life is so uncertain and thinking about the future can be frightening. The thing is that we walk with God, and He has us in His strong right hand. He won't forsake you Sandy. He really wont. He can be trusted.

God bless you dear sister,

I will pray that God will show you something special.

Love,

Ursula
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: lilitalienboi16 on September 01, 2007, 04:24:57 AM
Dear sandy,
My heart aches with you.
We are all with you in spirit, and as someone else said; with loveing arms [of spirit] around you.
I'm deeply sadened to hear of your situation, but i know that it is through much tribulation we enter the kingdom of God.
Just remmeber that Jesus is with you, and He feels your pain. He sees what you see, He feels what you feel, and He cry's with you.
'As you have done it unto the least of these[or sandy], Ye have also done it unto me'
Christ feels your pain sandy, and He wants you to know He is with you, and He loves you more then any words upon a forum could ever express.
I love you to sandy!
My prayers and love are with you, i can only pray the Lord is letting you know that He to, loves you more then you could ever know.

God be with you always, and His love abound more and more.

In Christ and with you in spirit,

Alex

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on September 01, 2007, 07:11:10 AM
Sandy

DaluthGA has opened a thread called Caregiver shares more in this same section Testimonies/Prayer Requests/ Fellowship. If you have not read it, it may bless you to.

One way to ease OUR pain is to help others more stressed out and contribute to easing their pain. It takes the focus off of what we are suffering to help others and can be a huge blessing. I personally can attest to this.

In an all too brief opportunity I received the privilege to help out at a Hospice. As you may know Hospice patients have qualified to be in Hospice due to a diagnosis not giving them more than three months to live. They are terminally ill,.... as we all are. Some of us get to have a clinical diagnosis and some don't ;D

Perhaps you should do something pro active and go and volunteer to help out in a rape crisis organisation, Aids Orphanage or a Hospice. I assure you it can be a very quick fix!

Isaiah 54:10 The mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee....

Peace be to you sister.

Arcturus :)

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: ez2u on September 01, 2007, 07:25:54 AM
Hi everyone Sandy asked me to post that she tried to get on the forum but had trouble so she has email them and will post as soon as possible.  Also please pray for me becaue I have torn a muscle or something in my neck and have terrible pain.  Peggy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on September 01, 2007, 08:11:35 AM
Hello Peggy

Perhaps you can go and get some Arnica Oil. It is a very effective way to ease such pain. Also if you get some anti inflammatory. I suggest Tissue Salt no 4 Ferrum Phos which is not a chemical artificial substance but is safely homeopathic and it can also help the body to be comfortable while it heals.

A pain in the neck is very tedious and uncomfortable to bear.  :'(

A hot bath, and time out also helps! Sometimes we need the nurturing healing effects of peace and calm to get through such pain thresholds and in a very bizare way, it is those times of nurturing and healing that are so comfortable we can almost be glad for that pain in the neck once it comes... TO PASS.

If there is no sign of improvement you should not delay to get to a Doctor!

Peace to you

Arcturus :)

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Craig on September 01, 2007, 10:48:59 AM
Quote from: ez2u on September 01, 2007, 07:25:54 AM
Hi everyone Sandy asked me to post that she tried to get on the forum but had trouble so she has email them and will post as soon as possible.  Also please pray for me becaue I have torn a muscle or something in my neck and have terrible pain.  Peggy

Tell Sandy to try and post again.  It looks like she changed her email and the system locked her out.  I fixed it.

Craig
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: SandyFla on September 01, 2007, 02:04:53 PM
Thanks, Craig. That's exactly what happened!

I am humbled and overwhelmed by the outpouring of love I have felt from you all through the messages, IMs and e-mails. I am so amazingly blessed to have such loving, caring friends. Words can't express what it means to me. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart.

Someone loaned me the book "48 Days to the Work You Love." It has given me some unorthodox ideas about combining the talents and passions God has given me for other employment. For instance, I was watching the Discovery Health Channel the other night with my mom, and she mentioned that I would make a good nurse. I've always been interested in biology and medical topics, so I'm considering going back to college next semester in the nursing program.

Also, I've always enjoyed writing, and my brother-in-law's mother remarked a few years ago that I should write children's books. Well, my sister and her family just moved to PA, so that inspired me to write a book about being the "new kid" in school from a child's perspective.

I also enjoy singing and can play a variety of instruments. I don't have a clue how to make money on that, other than to move to Nashville or Branson, and that is out of the question right now.

Finally, while searching for something on the Web, I stumbled across a site that would allow me to open an online mall for just $8.95 per month, in association with Amazon.com, who would handle inventory and shipping. All I need to do is choose what to put on my site, then collect the profits.

So perhaps being unemployed is the best thing that ever happened to me. Sometimes God has to give us a swift kick in the butt to get us going in other, better directions.

Sandy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: dawnnnny on September 01, 2007, 02:15:13 PM
Hi Sandy,

I was so excited to see your post!  I know that God has something absolutely fantastic for you, and one day you will look back on this time of your life and see that it was a pre-ordained growing/learning experience.  As often happens, we don't appreciate the storm until we've passed through it.  I'm continuing in prayer that He will let you know the right direction to take.  All your ideas sound really exciting. 

You know, I will be "unemployed" the end of September after deciding to quit a job after 28 years.  It was a scary decision but one that I'm at peace with.  Your story has helped me to understand that the future isn't going to be a bed of roses, and I'm sure there will be times that I'll be worrying and even regretting this decision.  So thank you for showing grace in going through your trials. 

God bless you Sandy and I look forward to hearing all sorts of exciting news from you in the future!!!

Much love and jumping up and down with Huge smiles,
Dawn
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D





Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on September 01, 2007, 03:15:17 PM

Hello Sandy

Going "forward" into the Nursing program sounds wonderful. Also that you have your Mom who is no doubt a comfort and support through the difficult time you have come through, will also no doubt assure you of her love and God's kindness to you through her.

A step at a time is always a sure steady course to take one day at a time, not forgetting to smell the roses....day by day our daily bread.

Peace to you

Arcturus :)

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: neeter on September 01, 2007, 03:38:02 PM
THERE YOU ARE!!!!     girl....... you had us worried.... :o........i am so glad to see that things are looking up for you. ;D  you just keep stepping forward, and God always opens a door for us....... 8)

grace to you
neeter

   
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on September 01, 2007, 06:29:23 PM
HI Sandy!

Take good care,  :)
More prayers comin' your way,
Janice
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: SandyFla on September 01, 2007, 10:40:00 PM
Thanks, everyone. I do need your continued prayers. There's more going on in my life right now than I'm willing to share publicly - personal things having to do with my aging parents - in addition to my financial situation. Plus, I'm awaiting a biopsy report on my little kitty. As most of you know, I don't have children, so my kitties are my babies, and I couldn't love them more if I'd have given birth to them.

Dawn - The one difference between us is, you are choosing to be unemployed. I've been there and God brought me through that at a time when I had a mortgage. I was less worried then - but then, I was also a bit younger. I'll also keep you in my prayers.

Neeter - I see you're a "newbie," so welcome to the forum! What a cute bear in your avatar! I adore animals, so if the nursing thing doesn't work out, I could be a vet tech. :)

Sandy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: Shmeggly on September 02, 2007, 01:17:24 AM
Sandy:  great to see you post! 

A nurse would be an excellent idea, specially for a caring, compassionate individual.  I was an LPN for 3 years before I got into my current job.  It was tough and tiring at times, but one of the most rewarding jobs you'll ever do!  And they will always need nurses....

If you could do something online, like the mall, that would be ideal.  Making money at home from your computer?  Sign me up!!!  That would be a dream to work out of home...I really hope that things open up for you in the area that you want.

I hate saying something like this, because it is no comfort when you are in the midst of the sh#t storm....but this could all be a great opportunity for you...sometimes we won't change/move on/get a new job until we're forced into it...at least in my experience.  So I pray that even though you are going through the wringer right now you will find peace, and opportunities will open up for you that you may never have imagined before. 

Keep us posted to what's happening....and take care of yourself.  There is only one YOU...and you're important.  You never know what kind of impact you will have on someone....

As someone going through a "storm" myself, I pray for peace to be on you with the utmost sincerity....James
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: DuluthGA on September 02, 2007, 04:43:32 PM
And as an aside~~~ to Ursula:

God bless you too dear sister Ursula with your heavy set of husband happenings.... all going on while your father has an early Alzheimer's situation and both your parents need special attention.  Indeed, may God bless you and yours.  It makes me solemn.

I lift you up in prayer, and as your pen pal friend, I vow to do what I can to help and uplift you, if only to raise up your cross a little bit briefly here and there.  You are spiritually mature... and IT IS YOU WHO INSPIRES ME... and I take comfort in realizing you know IT IS HIS CROSS.  (I've got tears in my eyes...)

NO MATTER WHAT, THERE IS VICTORY AHEAD!

IS WAS AND WILL BE!

And I know you know, but it helps to be refreshed in HIS SPIRIT from others.

With sisterly love,
Janice

(http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z3/jbirdowens/PurpleDaiseys.jpg)

Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: SandyFla on September 03, 2007, 03:50:23 PM
Ursula,

I concur with Janice. You are truly an inspiration to me, as another person who is taking care of aging parents. Your situation is harder than mine at this time, so it gives me hope that I can deal with whatever comes my way—as long as God is by my side.

He is with you and will bless you abundantly for all you are doing. You might feel like your sacrifices go unnoticed at times, but the One who created the universe is taking careful notice and holding you in His strong, loving arms.

This just occurred to me: If you put your hands in your lap, on your arms, wherever … after awhile you don’t “feel” it or notice the feeling at all, even if you think about it. So it is with God. We may not “feel” His hand, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there, holding us closely as always.

Love,
Sandy
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: dawnnnny on September 03, 2007, 04:09:57 PM
wow Sandy, that's a beautiful thought on "feeling" God's hands, and I will remember that down the road... thank you  :)

Love,
Dawn 
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: LittleBear on September 03, 2007, 08:16:55 PM
Thanks Janice and Sandy for your kind words. This forum is a blessed place to be.  :)
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: skydreamers on September 03, 2007, 09:52:29 PM
Hi Sandy, it is good to see you posting.  Sorry I have not been able to respond to this thread until now, but you are in my prayers that God will make clear to you in what direction He wants you to head.  There is so much inspirational love that has come through from people as a result of your post, which is a joy to behold.  We all are unique for sure, but I am continually humbled by those on this forum who make such great sacrifices to care for others.  Much love, peace, and blessings to you all!  You are truly walking in the steps of Christ, our Sacrifice!

Peace,
Diana
Title: Re: Utter despair
Post by: ez2u on September 04, 2007, 04:27:30 AM
I just finish rereading this posting and it is beautiful  I wish we could all get together and hug ;D together.  so here is a hug and a God bless you . this is special!! Peggy