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=> Email to Ray => Topic started by: Craig on April 09, 2007, 06:30:18 PM

Title: Dilemma
Post by: Craig on April 09, 2007, 06:30:18 PM
Hello Ray, I have a dilemma, which I have struggled for a few days and I would like to have your opinion on it.

It all started when I thought about the cars and mansions of those televangelists and famous preachers.
They have expensive cars and houses. They chose to buy them. They could could have helped the
poor instead, or they could have donated the money to help children in Africa, who are suffering from
AIDS and other diseases, but they chose to buy new Porches, maybe two new Porches.

I think that it is not what people of God should do with their money. If one is blessed with money,
I think, that he should share the money with those, who are in need. I don't believe that these
preachers don't know that there are people in need in Africa. So they have the chance, all the time
they have it, but they just use it to their house or something.

Then I realised that I shouldn't critisize them so harsh ly, because I too, have things that I don't need.
I could think that everytime I buy icecream, I could have helped someone with that money.
Should I think that if you're a follower of Christ, you should think of the maximised good?

That leads me to a new problem, and a crisis, I might say. Because I'm in love. Not married yet,
because my girlfriend is 16 and I'm 18, but I'm thinking that maybe I'll propose her before she turns 18.
(Psst, don't speak about that, it's a secret! ^^) Then we could get married and have children in the future.

But now we come to the real problem. When you raise a child, you're going to need money. Lots of it.
With the money, I can raise one, two, or maybe three childs. But if I would give the money to charity,
it would maybe change many, many lives.

And about pets. When we decide to take a pet, we could have decided to give that money, which
is spent on the animals food, to help people who are in need. Instea d of taking care of one animal,
I could have changed many lives with the amount of money that I spend on the pet during it's life.
But I have always, on some level, wanted a pet, and my girlfriend loves animals, and I am pretty sure
that she someday buys one. Is it wrong to choose to have a pet instead of giving the money to the poor?

And if we go to the extreme: Instead of making my girlfriend happy by marrying her, I could go and
help those in need myself. I would make much, much more people happy there, if I would help them.

But the thing is, that I would like to marry her! I have always wanted children, I've always wanted to
be a father and have family. And maybe pets.

So, I asked many questions, but the main question is: Am I being selfish if I spend money on me
and my (future) family? I know that there is something wrong when some preachers earn millions
and buy things for themselves, but how much should we give? What should we buy ourselves?
Is it right to buy some thing you enjoy, like I enjoy playing piano very much. Should I sell it
and give the money to the poor?

I ask you if you can tell me something on what the scriptures are saying or encouraging me to do.
I would very much like to help those in need, but my girlfriend is also in need of me. She doesn't have
any other close people, and I don't want to take myself from her so I could go and help others.
So maybe in heart I value her more than the africans or the other poors, because I spend money
to buy her gifts and to make her happy and to visit her.

Please, tell me, am I being selfish and what should I do about this? I'm pretty lost with this subject.

Your brother in Christ
Nicky


    Dear Nicky:  If I tell you that, "Yes, you are being greedy and you should not spend money or time with a girlfriend, but give all this time, energy, and money to the poor," you would not do it anyway, so why are you asking?  I really doubt that you would never buy a pet for the rest of your life, because some guy on a web site told you 40 years earlier to spend that money on the poor. Don't become totally unbalanced. Jesus did not refuse to EAT because He could have given that portion of food to the poor. But neither did he live like a millionaire playboy, either.  Many people have posed similar questions to me. They wonder if they should become homeless themselves so that they can feed a few more homeless people. But not one of them has ever done such a thing, so why ask? Well, people ask, so that I tell them that, "NO, it is fine for you to spend money on yourself and on your girlfriend, etc., etc.," so that they can go on their way and not feel guilty for DOING NOTHING for other people and the poor.
     
    There is a proverb which says, "Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?" (Ecc. 7:16).
     
    I am not trying to demean your questions or your sincerity, Nicky, but we need to have a little balance in our lives.  I once receive several emails from a husband and wife who were both doctors. They thanked for showing them on our site in an article on "Tithing is Unscriptural Under the New Covenant," that it is not a law of God that they need to give ten percent of their gross income to some church, or God will CURSE THEM WITH A CURSE.  They had "tithed" in a very short period of time, something like $60,000 to a pentecostal church. They just thanked me, thanked me, thanked me, for showing them the light of Scripture that they were not obligated by God to "tithe" on money to a church, or be cursed. Had they not read my paper on tithing, by now, they might have given hundreds of thousands of dollars to that church unnecessarily. Now then, just how thankful were they really for what they learned from this ministry? They gave tens of thousands of dollars before learning these truths, but have not contributed one nickel to the ministry that taught them that truth, so that many more like them could also be taught that truth. I don't need their money;  I don't want their money;  I am merely making a point. Don't make a show of "being righteous over MUCH...,"  but then fail to do anything at all.
    God be with you,
    Ray