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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Longhorn on November 14, 2008, 08:21:11 PM
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Im breaching trust of NASA and the security of the entire universe by making this post. Old Longhorn and my best laying hen (can't reveal her name at present) are aboard the Endeaver Space shuttle about to blast off, T- minus 50 minutes and counting. Get back to yall when I have clearence. They are closing the hatch as I secretly type this message.... Some guy in a NASA white jumpsuite just said something about it has to be 2 psi above ambient for secure seal, or something like that. Get back to yall when we are out of orbit.
Longhorn
p.s. I will self destruct this message in 3..2..1
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Hey there Mr stowaway....They are going to put you to work, ...don't you know this is not a sight seeeing trip.....there adding a room on to the space station.
Is that all you brought along ......was a chicken...is it alive and you are expecting eggs or is she aleady cooked?
I hope you made a pit stop before entering that thing...plug up your ears the take off is going to be rough.
beloved
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Longhorn.
I ‘m wondering if you brought a bottle of BQ sauce with you. If the chicken don’t lay any eggs well…………..you’re a farmer I’m sure you’ll know what to do…….LOL ;D
Richard.
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Wouldn't do me any good. I'm waiting for a space flight to take me several thousand light years away from this place. I can't take it any more.
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Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift-off
This is Ground Control to Major Longhorn
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare
“This is Major Longhorn to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today
For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do
Though I’m past one hundred thousand miles
I’m feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much (she knows!)
Ground Control to Major Longhorn
Your circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Longhorn?
Can you hear me, Major Longhorn?
Can you hear me, Major Longhorn?
Can you hear....
“ am I floating round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there’s nothing I can do.?
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Good News Fester
Mission Specialist ( can't reveal or recall his name) just informed me and my chicken ( can't reveal her name) that if we survive this mission, both me and my chicken might actually be younger when (if) we return to earth due to the effect of general relativity of objects in motion. Ye haw, we havent completed our mission yet and already my joints feel better. Get back to yall when we dock with the mother ship.... something about a room addition.
Longhorn Aka...... BT.Com
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What a space cadet :o eerrr Specialist 8) . longhorn i hope you took a pooper scooper :-[ pack for y'alls chicken drop
duty. That ship will be a mess :-X unless the chicken suit works well in freefall. ::)
;D :o :P :'(
:D ??? :-\
em rof tiaw
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LongHorn if your hear me.....
NASA astronaut Chris Ferguson commands the seven-member crew, which includes Pilot Eric Boe, Mission Specialists Donald Pettit, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, Steve Bowen, Shane Kimbrough and Sandra Magnus..
The giant orange tank that provided fuel for Endeavour's climb into space is now empty and is jettisoning from the shuttle.
LongHorn tap three times on the pipes to let us know that you were not in that part of the ship... if we do not hear form you ....we will inform the critters at your place
As the tank falls away and descends toward Earth, the tank's on-board cameras record the process. About two minutes into flight, the solid rocket boosters propelling Endeavour higher into space have successfully separated and gracefully fallen away. Each booster has a parachute packed in its frustum that will automatically deploy after entering Earth's atmosphere to slow the descent into the ocean. Endeavour has safely attained orbit and NASA mission managers have given the
In Endeavour's payload bay, the Multi-Purpose Logistics Module Leonardo is packed full of about 14,500 pounds of equipment and supplies, making it one of the heaviest modules in shuttle history. (How much do you weigh Longhorn???)
Also included in the payload, are additional sleeping quarters, a second toilet, an exercise device and other household-type equipment. Your in Luck LongHorn ....Look what God provided for your trip.
The prime objective of the 15-day mission is to prepare the International Space Station to accommodate six members for long-duration stays.
Get your workpants on...
Heads up Long horn, just off the press
NASA Launch Director Mike Leinbach remarked how pleased he is to celebrate Endeavour's launch, although a minor issue arose during the last few minutes of the countdown. A door in the White Room was found to be unpinned, (they found some chicken foot prints but do not want the world to know) but after discussion with the launch team confirming that it would not affect the safety of the shuttle, the countdown resumed
Good Luck Captain Longhorn and your SpaceChick ....May the Schwatz be with you
Beloved
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:D ;D ;D You are so weird! You and your chicken have fun up there!
Kathy ;D
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Im in the shuttle potty, have to change my diaper. Iv'e never gone 19,000 mph before. I think now is a good time to read my flight manual. Get back to yall later. Chicken is ok, trying to adjust to weightlessness. Flight commander seems amussed by a floating New Hampshire Red.
Longhorn.... Aka BT.com
P.S. Lula, my next door neighbor is trying to take care of the farm while Im serving my country......Good Luck with all that.
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Wow! Longhorn for the first time I am finding that I am at a loss for words, maybe I have a fever! Who would ever have thought that you would make such a sacrifice for your country! Not knowing how your best laying hen would fare on the trip. You could lose her! :'(
How long are you going to be gone? I hope you packed plenty of diapers! Be careful changing the diapers in zero gravity- it makes me almost glad that I couldn't be there with you! :D :D :D
Happy landings ::)
Kathy ;)
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Kathy, they are not called diapers in outerspace they are
MAG (maximun absorption garments)
Loghorn did you bring ISDU and your wrist mirror
ISDU is Nasa talk for In Suit Drink Bag You carry your beer with you, sip on it whenever it suits you...he he .
Boy them scientists have thought of everything (the In and Out of space living)
The wrist mirror is so you can keep an eye on the chicken and your own control buttons on your chest.
Here is a picture of space suit with details
http://www.nasa.gov/audience/foreducators/spacesuits/home/clickable_suit.html
Have you gone Ludicorous Speed yet
Beloved
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Oh yes I can see why the MAGs are much better!
Longhorn, are you getting this stuff? Beloved should have been your trainer, dude! She has all the info you need. You don't even need to open that flight manual she has given you all the instructions you will ever need!
Also, I think George has been arrested for sneaking around the launch pad! :o
We are all losing our minds, but it beats watching politics on TV!! ;) :D ;D
Kathy :D
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POLY-TICKS...phewey yuky :P
Not good for man or dogs, all of washington just bloodsucking arthropods
Just take all of those signs down and remove all those stupid bumper stickers...enough already
No Poly-ticks allowed in outerspace
beloved
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Nope security got me but they saw the gomers that were chasing longhorn and now are busy trying to catch
the yellow stuff following the capsule in farspace. This is where a Tardis or instantaneous mass interspatial
transporter is far superior to chemical boost systems. Whoops here they come again, i am outta here. :o
pleh
What a space cadet :o eerrr Specialist 8) . longhorn i hope you took a pooper scooper :-[ pack for y'alls chicken drop
duty. That ship will be a mess :-X unless the chicken suit works well in freefall. ::)
;D :o :P :'(
:D ??? :-\
em rof tiaw
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Yee Haw!!! I'm going to outerspace, too!!! There ain't no guv'ment in outerspace! Ok wait George! I'm coming with you! I was going to bust you out of jail, I'm glad you got away! Don't leave me!!!!!! :'(
Kathy :D
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Good News Fester
Mission Specialist ( can't reveal or recall his name) just informed me and my chicken ( can't reveal her name) that if we survive this mission, both me and my chicken might actually be younger when (if) we return to earth due to the effect of general relativity of objects in motion. Ye haw, we havent completed our mission yet and already my joints feel better. Get back to yall when we dock with the mother ship.... something about a room addition.
Longhorn Aka...... BT.Com
Hey Longhorn,
FORGET THE CHICKEN, Are there any Planets out there that sustain life as we know.
Oh, excuse me, Major Longhorn. Are there people out there, that don't act like the
ones down here.
On second thought, I guess we will all have to make the best of it; :D
Hey Fester, thanks for the Song, that was very clever of you and enjoyable, ;D.
Oh, by the way Major Longhorn, when do we leave, hopefully before the
first snow. I'm volunteering to be the ship's cook.
Every crew needs a good chef, for the travel.
All Aboard and exit stage left & hurry, Samson.
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Ha! I figured he's got a still out there on the farm, and he's hidin' from the Revenuers. Who would ever look for him in space? :D
"G-men, T-men, Revenuers, too lookin' for the place where he made his brew." ? Wheww, White Lightnin' :o
Ha! gotcha Longhhorn! :P By the way are you back? ;D ;D
Yer friend down here on Earth :)
Kathy ;)
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LOnghorn i just read your post and i am wondering why you would write such stuff? and i am wondering why anyone would respond to such bazaar conversation. are you having some mental pressures can we help you do you need to go to a doctor?
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Unbelievable, you all should go back and read what you have said, I am not to sure I would take advice from any of you on what the bible says or means. Sound s like it might be just another comic book. I could never make up this kind of fantansy stuff, I don't see the point, none of it is funny, thank God there is only certain people here I read of on scripture. And I am not afraid to say this. Off topic discussions should not be the title of this kind of nonsense. I have a better one.
Ricky
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Nonsense, Heck Im fixing to help design a new addition to the space station. Im not sure why I was Elected or Chosen for this mission, all I know some represenative from NASA came by the farm speaking all this technological mumbo-jumbo stuff,(I think he was speaking in what Ray call's Tounges) and the next thing I know Im strapped to a rocket.
Longhorn
P.S. There are some very Bazzar conversations taking place up here, guess it might have something to do with my pet chicken Rose,,,, dang I was warned not to use her name, strike that from your memory. When all this is over, I might have to record all this in one of them Comic Books.
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Careful all, ;D the mods are coming out soon; craig and joe were seen sneaking around in chicken suits :o. Rene
just checked out a large eraser and bug net and Kat is lurking somewhere ready to pounce. 8) We may be shut
down before longhorn can deorbit so hurry up and send the recall. :P What the %#$@*&^ :-X oops that was
Rose (longhorn's secret chicken) not the cops. ;D ;D ;D
george.
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This stuff is just for fun. Anyone who doesn't think it's fun or funny should just not get on this board. Not meant to be offensive, but even the moderators get in on the fun occasionally. Sorry if the content offends anyone. this is like a place to unwind. Some of the people on here have heavy burdens and serious health problems, this gives them a place to relax and laugh and take a break from thieir problems. Does it not say in Proverbs that laughter doeth good like a medicine? If it is inapproriate the mods usually step in.
Kathy :)
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Just to reiterate, the mods are a terrible weight to bear when they show up. I tremble ;D every time i get even
a kind word from one of them as it could just as well be fire and brimstone. :o Meanwhile no one has heard from
poor longhorn for a while now. Hope he did not get silenced for revealing (Rose's) name; that could be very bad. :-\
george. :D ;D ::) :-* :P
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Off Topics ....it is a "prepared" perfect place to lighen up.....for Loghorn and Musicman and others who get tired of thinking.
Longhorn just wanted to participate in the launch...if not in the physical then a flight iof the imagination. I think Rose is enjoying the journey having no flight feathers of her own.
There are so many threads to read....just pass over these if they bother you ....the problem is that you may never know if any gems were added .
Isa 40:22 It is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in:
Look out the porthole Longhorn.....Does it look like this from where you are ?
beloved
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Oh Beloved,
You indeed are Beloved by myself :-* and i am sure countless others, thanks for that Scripture Picture. Someday
i will tell the story of how scandalized my Mom was many years ago; the first time i told her what i felt my Relationship
with GOD is. She has been a JW member for over 45 years now. ???
george. ;D
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Thank you, Beloved! You said that so much nicer than I did. I didn't mean to get all emotional about it, but you know I'm partial to Longhorn, and George and you and Marlene and Richard D. and even musicman and so on and so on! It's just sometimes we jump to conclusions before we know the whole story about things! thank you, again for stepping in and being wise!
Love,
Kathy :D
Where IS Longhorn?
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Kathy,
If he does not report in soon put out an APB on the Transgalactic SAR Network ???. No telling what he might do
if they went some through a wormhole :o or worse went to try and tap a blackhole :-\ out past saggitarrius.
george. ;D
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George, I hope he has plenty of those fancy space diapers!! :D
We'll hope for the best!
Kathy :)
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;D LOL ;D
:o
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Preparing to go on our first of five space walks (shouldn't it be called Space Floats?) Any way's, I got my tool box ( provided by Glovers feed mill here in Longhorns home town) and 2 rolls of electric tape that I just happened to have in my pocket when the NASA officials came and whisked me and Rose away for this mission.
A bit of bad news, I was just informed that the NASA budgit didn't calculate the cost of a space suit for a chicken, so we are gonna have to wrap Rose in some tin foil (3 layers) they have said, convinced, promised, took a spit oath, threw salt over their left shoulder, did the pinky secret hand shake, and all the other precausions to ensure her safety. Get back to yall later I know this is dangerous, but when National Security and the very reason for us even being here is at stake, I can do no less than give my best. The shield on my space helmet has a hairline crack,,,, no problem, Let's do It..
Longhorn
P.S. Ray is right,, God really did create many diffrent planets. Yall should see the view. Don't worry, I brung along 2 of those disposibal cameras that you get a Wall-Mart. I'll be downloading pictures after the Space Walk (float)
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Longhorn, I hope your mission is successful. I'd wrap an extra layer or two of foil around the chicken, just to be sure, can you share your O2 with her? (If that crack in your helmet doesn't cause a problem that is).
Keep us updated sweet cheeks! Aha, ha, ha! :-*
Hurry home, musicman needs your help gettin' back at a lousy neighbor!
Kathy ;)
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Thanks longhorn. I needed this. It has been a heavy day and I needed to laugh. I think this board is great. I think it is needed.
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Update 11-17- 2009, ..I mean 2008 ,..I can't decide if were transseeding time, or if were going back in time. Hate to be the bear of bad news, but I have to report it as I see it,,,,the silly string they had attached to Rose's right leg didn't hold, now she's out there in only God knows where. last we saw her she was headed striaght for Pluto. we are gonna circle back around and attempt the first in orbit recovery mission,
If all goes well, the planet earth will be safe. If you have time out of your busy schedule's, like soccer practice, or annoying sales calls, or neighbors wanting to bowrrow a cup of sugar, or if a long lived relative suddently shows up on your door step asking for money, or if an ex-spouse accusess you of kicking the dog, or if you found one of those extra spicy sauce packs from taco bell from 2 years ago, and you decided it would be a good time to use it as a spice for your Roman Noodles,,,,, Then say a prayer for Rose.
Longhorn,,, It's hard to type with these thick gloves on. Funny, but only mine look like oven mittens. God Bless Yall at B.T
Tell Musicman, don't worry about the neighbors, give em a hug, say hello, introduce them to B.T and the great teachings of Ray,,,,,,, and then sneak over in the middle of the night after you have had 2 doozen raw oystrers, and some chilli cheese fries and some Pineapple juice and leave them the gift that keeps on givving. Back to the important space stuff,,,,,Like finding Rose.
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Man I just read longhorn's last post out loud to my wife. I had to stop in middle of sentence from laughing so hard I was crying and snorting, man, that's is some funny stuff. Poor old Rose I can just see her floating out there in space with silly string hanging off of her. What a site she must be. I mean what a trip. How do you come up with this this stuff. I must admit I don't laugh very much and I find few things funny. My wife calls me a stick in the mud with a sour puss look on my face. I have to say for that one moment when reading about Rose I let all that pinned up emotion go. You are a riot.
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Oh, no Longhorn! Poor Rose! I hope you can lasso her in!
Longhorn? Are your hands getting numb? Tie a string around your wrists to ensure a good fit with those gloves, dude!
See I told you! I knew Longhorn would come through for ya, musicman! Ewww, that's just nasty! :P :o
Winner,
Sometimes I'm reading the stuff by these "wild and crazy guys" and laugh out loud and my family thinks I've gone nuts!
Kathy ;)
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Man I'm not kidding I don't find many things funny. Even the greatest comics hardly make me smile, but Longhorn You take the cake. Thank you so much for making my day. You have a gift from God and that is the gift of laughter and making people laugh is one of the hardest things to do You are blessed. I don't mean to get serious. It is what it is. thanks
I hardly ever come to this board and read, i will post but i hardly ever read. That will change.
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Rose; the first deep space frozen fried chicken :P. Now you can open up your own joint longhorn,
no not the smokehouse; the chicken ranch eerrr space chicken eatery. Texas garbunzo ;D baked
beans and space flash frozen fried pluto chicken. Ok longhorn :o put down the skewer and float
back from the chicken.
george. ;D
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Well, Longhorn? Did you catch her?
You're not in Vegas gettin' married are you? ??? Just checking... Yore mama would have a fit, is she still living?
I hope you come back before you run out of funny stuff..You gotta get back to the cellar and eat some more of those funny looking mushrooms so you can replenish your funny bone! :D ;)
I wish they had a broken smiley face on here to depict that you are "cracking" us up! ;D ;D
Kathy ;)
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oh i understand now sorry longhorn i was being too serious laugher is good for the soul
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Good there, ez2u!
We all need a good laugh and who better to laugh at than Longhorn?! ;D
You'll come to love him, take my word for it! :D
I think our guys here are the best! ;)
Kathy :D
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Longhorn, I hope I don’t upset you too much but I’m hungry and happen to have a bottle of BQ sauce on hand. Now where did you say you last saw Rose. I would like to rescue Rose if at all possible.
She sounds like a good catch to me……….LOL
In god’s Love. Richard.
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Good News- Bad News
Good news is we located and recovered Rose on our 3rd and final circle around Pluto. I got one of them coathangers out of that female astronauts closet, (dang she had a bunch of them things in there, I guess she thought we was going to be in space for 2 years), anyway, Rose was floating upside down about 3 feet from the shuttle and I rolled down the window just enouph to get my arm out, and thank the good Lord I snagged her.
Bad News is when I got her onboard and unwrapped her from the tin foil, my first thought was, Iv'e never seen a popcycle with feathers before. After she thawed out a bit, I realized that the 9 hrs she spent floating around in space had tacken it's toll. The frostbite on Rose's beak was beyond repair. I was forced to do the first(and hopefully last) in space beakotomy. Looks like I'll be doing alot of hand feeding the rest of this mission. Everybody keep saying your prayers, keep repenting and studying Ray's materials, and get back with ya after the next space walk-float.
Longhorn
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I have to keep saying this: You are WEIRD!! :D :D :D
BUT weird is good, yes it is! ???
Richard-put that BBQ sauce away! You're just NOT going to eat Rose! :o
George, you too! You guys stopped drooling and go to KFC!! :D :D
Kathy ;)
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Haven't heard from longhorn for hrs. I hope everything's alright.
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He's out there somewhere! It's a long way to Pluto, maybe he's having a space nap. Maybe they've put him in hyper sleep! WAKE UP, LONGHORN!! I hate silence from space! ;)
Kathy :)
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Kathy and Richard,
I knew it, i knew it :D. Deep Space flash frozen deep fried texas laying hen Yum yum yum 8). Richard we just need
to hang on a bit; longhorn will see the light ::). Hope that bbq sauce is spiced up with some habenero peppers. :o
Come on kathy you will be enthralled; ;D this is space sanctified chicken oh we can do beer butt bbq chicken.
Every one knows that after nine hours in deep space ???; that eerrr secret chicken Rose was being prepped for
a good oL Texas spacebeque by longhorn.
george. :P ;D
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Glad to hear that you got your chickenaut Rose back. I had a crew tracking you guys....see the following picture...I think the problem was the aluminum she could have beeen any of the white dots..or just too small to see in her little space juryrigged spacesuit
Here is some pic of space station in orbit ...the arrows on the endeavor no arrows on the chicken
http://spaceweather.com/swpod2008/19nov08/Xin-Li1_lab.jpg?PHPSESSID=vucmp8peu3c9fmvepc12efsds4
You guys with the barbeue sauce...stop licking your chops....haven't you heard that being frozen may make it easier to survive....slowed her little chicken heart down ...put her into hibernation...space cryo-prerservation
....so resucitation may be possible.
My only concern is that with her lightweight bones she may develope osteoposis if she is in space too long...she needs to be exercised...attach some weights to the string...a wrench one of those $10, 000 hammers..these will give her some resistance to work against.
Do not worry about the beak...a little plastic surgery or prosthesis will make her look respectable...in the meantime get a eye dropper, or you could chew her food for her
beloved
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oh mein' as in swiper no swiping ;D. Sorry Beloved and Rose, guess its corn chips and bbq sauce then. Weelll
it could be worse, at least we get to ask what came first; chicken ??? egg ??? longhorn ???. Wonder if he fell
into the still and had an epiphany with some white lightening or just some sour mash ::).
I still think Beer Butt BBQ Chicken with a tangy habenero bbq sauce would have been heavenly LOL. ;D ;D
george.
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Stop thinking of food...you are making me hungry now
Here play a game with Rose the space chick...she will follow your cursor as long as her eyes do not see the little bug running on the ground..... if she does then being a special agent........she will follow it...
look at her beak :'( but she is still spunky
http://www.ishiboo.com/~nirva/Play/spacechicken/
beloved
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Beloved, that is so cool the space pic and the spce chick! ;D ;D ;D Thank you for helping me talk some sense into Richard and George, men and their stomachs!! :P
Kathy :D
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Nice try Beloved,
You almost fooled me for a minute, remember the eye is the window to your soul but; ::) the way to a man's
heart is through his stomach. :P Of course that has nothing to do with this but Sun Tzu ??? did say know your
chicken (enemy) ;D before you get out the seasoning. :-\ I am just concerned for my buddy longhorn and that
spy from S.M.E.R.S.H. :o
Space chick is cool indeed. 8)
george.
Stop thinking of food...you are making me hungry now
Here play a game with Rose the space chick...she will follow your cursor as long as her eyes do not see the little bug running on the ground..... if she does then being a special agent........she will follow it...
look at her beak :'( but she is still spunky
http://www.ishiboo.com/~nirva/Play/spacechicken/
beloved
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Ahoy Earthlings,, Just completed one of the most dangerous, hair standing on the back of your neck, frightening space walks-floats in the history of space travel. As some of yall might of heard by now,( thanks to all them liberal media jerks who love nothing better than too see this mission fail), me and my space walk-float partner astronaut Sandra Magnus, encountered a few problems up there in the wild blue yonder last night.
Fist of all, I learned me a valuable lesson, Don't ever eat red beans and chilli, some of them jalapina pepper cheese flavored doritoes, milk duds, and a luke warm glass of Tang, and a stale hunny-bun before you attempt to go on one of them space walks-floats.
I reckon we were about 20 minutes into our secret mission, when Old Longhorns stomach began to gurgleing, rummbling, twisting from side to side, front to back, and right away we had at the very least an emergecy on our hands, and maybe a National security issue. I was sure the build-up of gas pressure was going to blow a hole a size of siler dollars through my space walking-floating boats, and there was greater than 0 chance my kneecaps could be dislocated.
Anyhows, I had no choice but to relieve my internal pressure chamber. My first(and probably only) thought was.... heck Im in dang outer space, a trillion miles from civilization, if ever it was a good time to fart, this was it. Well, for the next 39 seconds it sounded like 30 to 40 foghorns were going off. The relief I felt is undescribable.
Just as I was about to continue my duties of holding the flashlight for MS(that means Mission Specialist for you lay persons), S. Magnus, myself...and her also noticed my space suit was starting to expand at an alarming rate...(I forgot these goofy space walking-floating suits were air tight). Within all of 2 minutes Old Longhorn began to take on the look of a cross between the Good Year blimp, and the Stay-puff marshmellow man.
Being the smarter of the two, Astronaut Magnus motions for me not to panic. Within secons she's pulls out her blackberry-cell phone thingamajiggy, and manuvours the shuttle space arm to grab hold of my leg. Then with the skill of 3 brain doctors, she's eases my over close enouph wher she can use her swiss army knife to poke 3 precise holes in my space walking-floating suit.
Dang good thing that robotic space arm had a firm grasp of my leg, cause if not for that, when all that gas was released, Im pretty sure I would have blasted off like a chinese bottle rocket. After we were saftley on board, we looked out the window and noticed a strange fog like cloud headed back towards earth. My first thought(probably my only one) was oh my gosh, what have I done.........Anyways, if this humane made gas bomb I created should happen to penetrate the earths atmosphere, please bring in all your children, small pets, call your loved ones and warn them..then go get you a paper bag and try to take as many small breaths as you can.
Get back to yall after space walk-float no.3....... Keep studying Ray's LOF series and May God Bless all of us.
Longhorn
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Longhorn.
My stomach hurts with this up date report of yours. I believe this fog you’re talking about has been burned up by the sun for I see not a cloud in the sky. Keep up the good work NASA has entrusted you with as life on planet Earth is doomed without whatever you’re doing in space.
I had put away my bottle of BQ sauce after receiving the news of Roses rescue in other space near the planet Pluto.
Just so there is no hard feeling between us I wanted you to know I was going to take good care of Rose, I had plans on sharing her with a few friends of mine so she would feel the love of the brethrens.
May God be with you Longhorn in this most dangerous mission you have undertaken and WATCH WHAT YOU EAT PLEASE as your words lead me to believe earth had a close call. ;D
In God’s speed Longhorm. Richard.
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Longhorn,
Not only are you weird but you're SO DUMB!! ;) What kind of dork eats stuff like that before a space walk/float? ??? :o
I'm telling you, Longhorn that could have been the biggest disaster in the history of space flight! ;D
I am laughing myself to tears here! :D :D :D
Oh, WHY are we humoring you? We should just all walk away quietly. While we still have some brain cells left! :D ;)
Well, let us know what great adventure you stumble into next time! Better seal those little holes in your space suit, Your butt could freeze off! Aha, ha, ha! ;D ;D :P
Your little earthbound friend,
Kathy ;)
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Longhorn I heard that one of you guys lost your grip on a bag of tools and it just floated away. You know how much dem tools cost? Dem are government tools. Probably thousands of dollars. I hope they don't take it out of your paycheck :D :D :D. Anyway I'm glad Rose will live. I was, as we are were, worried sick about her. We all got to know and love Rose. As far as that gas cloud goes, if it were over LA or N.Y. City or one of those big cities, They would never know the difference. The sky seems to be so polluted anyway. I really can't wait to see those pitcures you have taken. Hope they come out. I wanted to ask you, when you rolled down the window in the space shuttle I hope everyone was wearing their seatbelt. Somebody could have been sucked out. I mean one little crack and by-by birdie. When will you be coming home?
PS Is there anyway you give us your location so we can see you up there?? You know 3clicks from the moon or next to the milkyway. ??? ???
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Breaking news just in from NASA. Astronaut Longhorn photo.
(http://i223.photobucket.com/albums/dd316/parsonssc/spaceman.jpg)
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Oh no Longhorn you have developed the ..Puffy head Bird legs Syndrome
read more here
http://library.thinkquest.org/03oct/01581/SpaceTravelEnglish/dangers/puffy.html
beloved
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O, Gee I hope that puffy head bird legs thing isn't serious!We are getting the cold shoulder from longhorn, does that affect your ability to reason or communicate? ???
Longhorn, you'd better check in soon! Are you ok? Don't make us shoot George or musicman up into space to get you! :P ;D :D
Kathy ;)
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Oh, I'm goin. I just aint comming back.
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Oh, so YOU are abandoning us, too? I am going to get depressed! :'(
It's gonna be real boring around here if you and Longhorn go away! I mean what will we do? Where will we get our quality laughs? :D :D :D
Don't even THINK about leavin' us mister! Ha!
Kathy ;)
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I am moving to the farside of Beta Pictoris ??? shortly. Longhorn will need to be reporting in soon
because i doubt i can get back before the stars line up again. :o
george. ;D
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Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick! :P I just can't deal with it! ;D
You guys are just trying to mess with my mind! :o :'( ;D
Hope the stars stay lined up!
Kathy ;)
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Are you taking the trip Kathy, ???
This is time travel now :o, none of that chemical rocket stuff. ;D
george.
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Oh, cool! Count me in! ;D
Kathy ;)
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Did you find the Spaceballs van up there??? That is what this whole thread reminds me of----
you guys/gals/yahoo's/chickenaughts/ and Longhorn are a hoot!! I am just sorry I am not clever enough to join in the merriment!!!
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Hey Longhorn, long time no see! You are still as clever and funny as ever...I'm amazed at you! I still say that you missed your calling...forget being a farmer and become a writer or go on the comedy circuit and make some good money..you will have to offer muscle relaxers though to all of your audience members b/c their stomaches will be aching so badly...you will have them in stitches ;D ;D ;D ::)
thanks for lightening up the place!!
blessings,
Susan
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Hey Longhorn did you really drop that toolbag or is astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper just taking the blame for it
we can see it from here... tell me it is not Rose again...did she wiggle loose again
Anyone that wants to track it, put your Zip Code in and it go,
I have one flyby of the toolgag, one of the space station and two other space debris things.
http://spaceweather.com/flybys/?PHPSESSID=vne3egar79bljs9qaf3mbl63k4
Time for all you space cadets to come down now
beloved
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I'm just wondering since Longhorn was on a secret mission maby he got lose in one of Dem space walks (floats) as longhorn would say.. and the gov.wouldn't even mention it. I mean we haven't herd from him in a while. Maby Him and Rose are out there right now just floating in outer space. I for one will be looking through my spacescope to if if I can find him and Rose. y'all know how our gov. is if they don't want you to know you wont know. maby Longhorn was on one of Dem black ops missions and he accomplish his mission and they cut him loose. The gov. is that underhanded.
Special agent D.man ;) ;)
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Okay Now I know why they wanted you to bring Rose into outerspace
not only is there a missing toolbag...she said there was a lot of grease...so now the lube job jokes.......but one of the spiders got loose too.
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272623917.shtml
http://www.metafilter.com/76666/Lube-Jokes-will-be-too-Obvious
Go get him Rose........how is she going to do that with a damaged beak....ah problem solved...Longhorn is there too
beloved
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Feel free to add to this list, but these are things you diffuntlly don't wont to do in outer space.
1. Don't sneak a beacklees chicken out to tee-tee after bedtime( nighty night for all you city folks)
I could go on for ever, but I got real important stuff to do up here. carry on.
Keep reading Ray's materials (LOF) and I will get back to ya. Hey Susan, What happened to Texas Tech? Seems like they lost their MOJO. HA HA
Hook em Horns
Lornghorn
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Thar he blows, :o gosh dang chicken scratching sheep dip cleaning :-X farmer is really gonna be
famous for doing the first space chicken run while wearing diapers. ;D
george. 8)
Feel free to add to this list, but these are things you diffuntlly don't wont to do in outer space.
1. Don't sneak a beacklees chicken out to tee-tee after bedtime( nighty night for all you city folks)
I could go on for ever, but I got real important stuff to do up here. carry on.
Keep reading Ray's materials (LOF) and I will get back to ya. Hey Susan, What happened to Texas Tech? Seems like they lost their MOJO. HA HA
Hook em Horns
Lornghorn
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Yes, Longhorn, unfortunately Tech did loose their Mojo!!! I have no idea what happened to them...maybe they couldn't take being famous??? ;) No, we will blame it on the dust boul here ;D ::)
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Oh, man Longhorn I hope Lulu has been keeping the outhouse cleaned while your gone!
One time I went to visit a relative for 3 weeks, when I got home I walked in the bathroom and took one look at the toilet and screamed like a banshee! I asked my husband, "You couldn't have just brushed out the toilet bowl a few times while I was gone??" >:( >:( He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Well, I flushed it everyday!" :o Oh, why am I telling YOU this?! Men don't care how the outhouse looks!!
Oh, well.
At least you won't have to wear diapers, uh MAG's when you get home! (will you?) :D :D :D
Ha ha ha!
See ya!
Kathy ;)
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Ok, the space shuttle is supposed to be on it's way home, right? I've heard they've put a toilet and a bedroom and everything on the space station. SO that means Longhorn has fulfilled his mission! :D
Now we wait for the return! I'm thinking they'll probably quarantine Longhorn for awhile to debrief (Longhorn, we will not laugh if you tell an underwear joke right here!) him and all that (you know, threaten him with all sorts of stuff if he tells any top secret details!) At least we all KNOW if he tells us anything it will probably be a "tall tale" anyway so his secret is safe with us! ;D ;D
Buckle up and reign in the chicken!
Kathy ;)
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What happens if you debrief in space?
You're butt will be a vacuum.
Excuse me.
I meant ur-anus!!
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Musicman, I just don't know about you! I'm laughing, but it's so sick! I hope he doesn't get debriefed in space, that would just be scary! :o
What would the moderators say to language like that? ::) Bad boy!
Somehow I think that Beloved will have something to say about this, but I think she'll just think you're funny! ;)
That's the way it always goes with you, you always manage to "cute" your way out of it! :o
You know something, unless I'm wrong we haven't heard from Longhorn in 5 days!! What is up with that? If we don't here soon someone is going to have to put their hip boots on and wade through all the you-know-what and go over to his place and check on him!
I've seen him lurking around on the boards, but he isn't posting, hmmm. I really hate to resort to shouting, but I'm gonna yell at him if he doesn't check in soon!
Whaddyathink about that ??? ;D
Kathy ;)
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Oh, sorry Longhorn DID post something on a subject yesterday. :-X :-[
Shutting up.....
Kathy ;)
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(http://dl3.glitter-graphics.net/pub/568/568363v9kx6xu2g5.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
oh my goodness! ahahahahaaaaaa!!!!
so good to be back and see that you guys have lightened up a bit....!!!!!
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It's not funny joyful1. I have just returned from space,( I could have made a smoother landing) but I still have to deal with a chicken with no beak. Keep me and Rose in your prayers..... p.s. Sounds Like Dennis done found him a keeper. Remember that Rod Stewert song, some guy's have all the luck..... I hate that song.... Gotta go see if all the animals are OK and pay Lula the 5$ for taking care of all these critters while I was gone.
Longhorn
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Freak of nature ;) :D ;D
Kathy :-*