bible-truths.com/forums
=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Longhorn on October 22, 2008, 05:13:12 PM
-
As you can tell old Longhorn is bored. p.s. Let's keep this clean.
Every since I can remember the funniest yet most painfull and discussting act to befall any human or animal is...
di-ar-r-rhe-a - A very lose bowel movement.
Love in Christ
Longhorn
-
It takes a lot of TP to keep that clean!!
Di ar rhe a-To be in diar need of rhea. What is rhea? It's my understanding that rhea represents a soothing acid destroyer. Perhaps you know what I mean. How often has this condition in our lives left us in such agony that we wish that our fleshly bodies could be quickly eaten away, just as the inner cavity of our BH is. After about the 15Th daily visit to the porcelain god, do you ever scream out "no, no more, it burns"? I know I have. What we fail to do is scream out "Rhea". Rhea is the comfort we experience a few days later when the painful discharge acid is finally blown away. It's sort of like that old Crest commercial about the cavity creeps. Well, this is sort of what happens. Except we don't have little men fighting off cavities. We have cavity soothers called "rhea restore agents". That's the tingly feeling you experience after two or so days of painful and acidic diarrhea (or, to be in diar need of rhea). These tinglings are the rhea restore agents, kind a like those kids from the old Crest commercials.
So, who ya gonna call?
"Rhea restore agents"!!! "We soothe".
-
It takes a lot of TP to keep that clean!!
Di ar rhe a-To be in diar need of rhea. What is rhea? It's my understanding that rhea represents a soothing acid destroyer. Perhaps you know what I mean. How often has this condition in our lives left us in such agony that we wish that our fleshly bodies could be quickly eaten away, just as the inner cavity of our BH is. After about the 15Th daily visit to the porcelain god, do you ever scream out "no, no more, it burns"? I know I have. What we fail to do is scream out "Rhea". Rhea is the comfort we experience a few days later when the painful discharge acid is finally blown away. It's sort of like that old Crest commercial about the cavity creeps. Well, this is sort of what happens. Except we don't have little men fighting off cavities. We have cavity soothers called "rhea restore agents". That's the tingly feeling you experience after two or so days of painful and acidic diarrhea (or, to be in diar need of rhea). These tinglings are the rhea restore agents, kind a like those kids from the old Crest commercials.
So, who ya gonna call?
"Rhea restore agents"!!! "We soothe".
Dang Musicman, You had to go and get all scientific on me. :D Im still trying to figure out how someone came up with the word Booger. I'll get back with ya later.
Love in Christ
Longhorn
-
We ought to rename this area from off topic discussions to "comedy central". You two crack me up.
Eileen
-
:D :D :D :D :D
Iris
-
You guys are a hoot. ;)
Suzie
-
Hello Longhorn, Yes, I have experienced it at its worst. We were traveling most of Nothern AZ. My husbands Uncle in AZ had us come out to the mountain house he built. He did not have the inside plumbing. Well, I did not know that before we left. It was still cool in Ohio so I wore long pants instead of shorts. I had Montezuma's Revenge so his Uncle called it. I lost 18 pounds and had to wear my shorts home becaues my pants were too big. The sad thing is we traveled to places and there were no inside facilities where we were. I found lots of trees. They have tormented me for years about me making the trees grow. It is not funny. So there is a word. LOL Montezema's Revenge.
Marlene
-
I wonder how these words come about. like booger, are certain phases. Like taking a dump, or going to the head why head? Restroom, the only time I ever rested in a bathroom there's another one bathroom.The only time I rested in a bathroom was when I was slacking at work and hid in the bathroom and went to sleep for an hr. come on I'm not the only one. Bathroom why bathroom who bathes in the bathroom? any takers?
Darren
-
I wonder how these words come about. like booger, are certain phases. Like taking a dump, or going to the head why head? Restroom, the only time I ever rested in a bathroom there's another one bathroom.The only time I rested in a bathroom was when I was slacking at work and hid in the bathroom and went to sleep for an hr. come on I'm not the only one. Bathroom why bathroom who bathes in the bathroom? any takers?
Darren
LOL Im right there with you Darren. To the best of my knowledge I have never "Taken" a dump, but I have left a many.
-
By the way, I guess if I ever do "Take" a dump, I will take it to the "dumpster"
Love in Christ
Longhorn
-
Darren,
Since I am in the Marines, I am familiar with the term "going to the head"
It is Navy talk for using the toilet. It dates back to the days of wooden sailing ships of old.
They used to have a porthole (hole) near the head (literally a wooden head at the front of the ship).
This is where all the buckets of waste were dropped from :P
I am very glad that ships have toilets now!
-
We ought to rename this area from off topic discussions to "comedy central". You two crack me up.
Eileen
i'm a little late in reading thru these off topic discussions. i agree with you eileen. i think longhorn and musicman are definitely two hoots. or two old owls. hoot,hoot...i met musicman at the nashville conference and i must admit, looks are deceiving. he looks like a mild mannered something or other but i would have never guessed him to be the funny, funny musicman. now longhorn is another story. i've never met him but anyone who can think up a post topic about diarrhea and not get it locked has to be someone i would love to meet in person. keep up the laughter you guys.
claudia
-
Do not take a header into the head or a feet first for that matter.
;D 8) ::) :o ??? >:( :-\ :-[
-
Do not take a header into the head or a feet first for that matter.
;D 8) ::) :o ??? >:( :-\ :-[
I'll blame my native tongue here....Afrikaans, but what do you mean.....I am lost ??? Please interpret.....
-
:) :D ;D ::) Good Lord!!! Someone has too much time on their hands!!!
Hi Claudia. Your comments are spot-on!! ;D ;D
I bet Longhorn and Musicman have even "pinched a loaf"!!!! (I brought up 2 sons and a hubby and not too much shocks me!!) ;D
-
Heidi,
Don't try to make sense of anything they say! My 8 year old grandson likes "bathroom humor", I think these dudes are just a few old guys who never grew up! Ha! I'm kidding. But seriously-Longhorn, musicman and George are always making us laugh! I think God looks over them cause you know, they help us lighten up a little! They can be serious, though when they need to be!
Kathy :) ;) ;D
-
Okay--this is a funny one, and it's in the news recently too!
flatulence - use it in a creative sentence. (It's just plain funny! ;D)
-
If you feed your cow green and wet grass spiced with some cooked red kidney beans :o you will get as a reward
some (explosive flatulence) :-[. Do not have a fire burning nearby when the time for opening the escape valve is
upon said cow, not having a fire burning nearby may prevent an instant roast beef on the hoof. ;D ;D ;D
george. :-X
-
George, that is just cruel and unusual punishment! :o ;D :D
Kathy ;)
-
Kathy, Notice i wrote (not having a fire nearby) :-\
george. 8)
George, that is just cruel and unusual punishment! :o ;D :D
Kathy ;)
-
Sorry, George! I thought you were trying to give Longhorn some ideas on having fun on a Sat. night! ;D :D
Hey, BTW are we seeing a "kinder and gentler" Longhorn these days? I thought maybe he was sick or something, then I saw his reply over on the general discussions board "2 women talking about anything is nothing but trouble" :o :P
I guess he's ok!
Kathy ;)
-
No Prob kathy,
Yep he is okay ;D, i heard he's been cleaning up cow patties :o that got stuck on his ceiling when Betsy
(favourite milk cow 8)) had a party while he was on that mission in space we can't talk :-X about. Btw this
all happened when betsy's attempt at silent flatulence release went horribly wrong ??? :o ::).
george. ;D ;) :D :)
-
Funny words? Come on, let's get serious. Time for a science lesson.
OK boys and girls, we have been studying the planets. Today, we will study Uranus. Uranus is bigger than our planet. It is very cold in Uranus. The only way to know the exact temperature would be to shove a thermometer right into Uranus. Uranus is also very dark as it is covered with a thick residue like atmosphere (possibly). It is believed that Uranus has frequent outgassing, despite it's distance from the sun (man I hope this stuff is true). It has been said often, that Uranus has rings all around it and got those rings from other bodies. Many children say that little green men live in Uranus and come out to attack those hostile to them. This however, probably isn't true because life can not live with the horrendous smell theorised to be in Uranus. It is most definitely a fact that if a person got stuck in Uranus they would surely die, quickly. Because of it's position, Uranus has been stained with several astroids. These bullies have kicked Uranus several times.
Well kids, put away your science book because it's time for spelling. Our new word for today is,
Buttcrack.
-
:-[sick musicman, very very sick. :-\
george. ;D :o
-
Funny words? Come on, let's get serious. Time for a science lesson.
OK boys and girls, we have been studying the planets. Today, we will study Uranus. Uranus is bigger than our planet. It is very cold in Uranus. The only way to know the exact temperature would be to shove a thermometer right into Uranus. Uranus is also very dark as it is covered with a thick residue like atmosphere (possibly). It is believed that Uranus has frequent outgassing, despite it's distance from the sun (man I hope this stuff is true). It has been said often, that Uranus has rings all around it and got those rings from other bodies. Many children say that little green men live in Uranus and come out to attack those hostile to them. This however, probably isn't true because life can not live with the horrendous smell theorised to be in Uranus. It is most definitely a fact that if a person got stuck in Uranus they would surely die, quickly. Because of it's position, Uranus has been stained with several astroids. These bullies have kicked Uranus several times.
Well kids, put away your science book because it's time for spelling. Our new word for today is,
Buttcrack.
Post of the year. MM, you and I think along the same lines. Why is anus and or butthole so funny, and at the same time sooo discusting?, I know it's where the bad stuff comes out, but half our life revolves around having a good BM. I can remember staying with my grandparents during the summer, and no matter what type of ailment I had, be it a toothach, scrathed knee, headache, handnail, infected nose hair, or whatever, my grandmother would always ask me, "Well honey, have you pooked today?..... never have gotten over that. I know this should be on a diffrent thread, but why do our belly-buttons stink?..... These are the questions I need answers too. P.S. I type wose than Helen Keller. OH Well, Life on the farm is fun.
-
Muscman, and Longhorn you're at it again! Life is good once again! Musicman, you are as sick as ever, you have such a gross sense of humor!
That's why I'm laughing so hard I can hardly breathe! :D :D :D
You guys should be ASHAMED of yourselves for such despicable thoughts and words! :o
Gross and disgusting! :D :P
We're going to have to call for a clean-up on this isle!! ::)
I ain't sayin' NOTHIN' about Uranus!
Ugghh! ;)
can't help but love ya!!
Kathy ;) :D