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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: hillsbororiver on October 22, 2007, 08:31:04 PM

Title: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: hillsbororiver on October 22, 2007, 08:31:04 PM: Some editors and copywriters must have been sleeping on the job, a few headlines from around the world that do not quite capture the gist of the story .....

Milk drinkers are turning to powder

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Farmer bill dies in house

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Iraqi head seeks arms

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Eye Drops Off Shelf

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Squad helps dog bite victim

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Dealers will hear car talk at noon

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Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

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Miners refuse to work after death

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Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

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Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy

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If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

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Cold wave linked to temperatures

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Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say

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Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

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British Left Waffles on Falkan Islands
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: musicman on October 22, 2007, 08:45:11 PM: That Farmer Bill was a good guy. I'm sad to see him go. (Haven't you heard that proper nouns need to be capitalized?)
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: Matt on October 22, 2007, 09:47:31 PM: I am with the Miners! ;D
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: musicman on October 22, 2007, 10:28:08 PM: Quote from: Matt on October 22, 2007, 09:47:31 PM
I am with the Miners! ;D

No you're not. They're dead.
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: Sue Creamer on October 23, 2007, 08:58:58 AM: Joe,

Got a kick out of all of them except the last one, I just don't understand...??? Maybe it is just to early in the morning...!
Thanks!
Sue Ann
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: hillsbororiver on October 23, 2007, 09:17:32 AM: Hi Sue Ann,

Perhaps those Brits left their breakfast (waffles) on the Islands because the ship was ready to leave the port. I had to read that one a few times before the lightbulb came on in my head!   ::) :o

Thanks for the observations Musicman and Matt, here are a few more to ponder;

•   Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

•   Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

•   Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

•   House passes gas tax onto senate

•   Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan

•   Two convicts evade noose, jury hung

•   William Kelly was Fed secretary

•   Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted

•   Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

•   NJ judge to rule on nude beach

•   Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984

•   Autos killing 110 a day let's resolve to do better

•   War dims hope for peace

•   Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: jER on October 27, 2007, 12:15:03 AM: Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation.

Bingo! Like understating one’s age…

- jER
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: gmik on November 02, 2007, 11:54:02 PM: The English Party (the Left) were debating about the Falkland Islands. (waffling-undecided)

Double-minded= unstable in all your ways.

I think it very near the same time as the Falkland "War", England was letting Canada go. (go figure)
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: eggi on November 03, 2007, 07:42:42 AM: Hahaha!

Great one Joe!
How about this one?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

God bless you,
Eirik
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: gmik on November 04, 2007, 01:18:43 PM: ;D ;D
Good one Eirik. And a happy Birthday to ya!!!
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: LadyRanae on January 26, 2008, 02:42:25 PM: All these Newspaper Headline jokes are funny!! And to think I thought they could be real! ::)
I was so pleased to find out that there was possibility of them being a hoax. There is hope for creation yet! :P

~ Lady Ranae
Title: Re: Newspaper Headlines
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on January 26, 2008, 03:27:44 PM: Thanks for the smiles. :D