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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: DWIGHT on March 14, 2007, 04:20:48 PM
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Double-pane windows
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive
double-pane energy-efficient kind. Yesterday, I got a call from the
contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the windows had
been installed a whole year ago and I had never paid for them yet.
Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am
automatically stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking
sales guy had told ME last year........ namely, that in just ONE YEAR
these windows would pay for themselves!
Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"!
There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just
hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about
forgetting the guarantee they made me. Bet he won't underestimate a
blond anymore
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Dwight,
Now that was pretty funny. Way to turn their sales pitch on them. I wonder if they are going to be more careful now and word their guarentees a little better.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
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Hey Anne,
Just wanted to lighten things up a little bit.....this one is funny too!
FORGOTTEN ANNIVERSARY
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to
find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6
seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE".
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there
was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom
scale.
Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.
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Dwight,
Hah hah hah. ROFLOL. Now that was funny, that was a completely unexpected turn of events. I was thinking he was going to get her a car. I love the conclusion, Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled on Friday. Thanks so much for sharing this. I needed a few laughes today.
Hope your day is as blest as mine and I know it will be. Ttyl.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
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;D ;D ;D Thank you Dwight!
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You had me going for a minute!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Dwight, that was funny!!!! ;D :D ;D
Thanks, I needed a laugh.
Iris
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and to think.........I wrote a check for mine! what a dummy I am! if only I had waited...................rick
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Rick,
BOLOL
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
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Hi Dwight,
Good one. :D
Joe
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;D :D ;D :Dahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
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The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
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ha...ha...ha... ;D
that's a good one Rick!!!
Iris
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That was funny Dwight!
I enjoyed the laugh thanks! LOL :D
That's funny too Rick! Ha ha :D
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AHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!! :D :D :D :D
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:D Iris...ANOTHER beautiful Iris you've got there on your avatar....are these all pics of flowers that you've grown? What's the name of THAT one? Joyce
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Good ones guys!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D thanks!
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:D Iris...ANOTHER beautiful Iris you've got there on your avatar....are these all pics of flowers that you've grown? What's the name of THAT one? Joyce
I can't keep up w/ em ;D I just love it that the forum looks so colorful & homey. Soon as I get more on photobucket I'm gonna change mine alot too.
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:D Iris...ANOTHER beautiful Iris you've got there on your avatar....are these all pics of flowers that you've grown? What's the name of THAT one? Joyce
I can't keep up w/ em ;D I just love it that the forum looks so colorful & homey. Soon as I get more on photobucket I'm gonna change mine alot too.
Joyce...Thanks. I think Iris' are pretty too. They are also called Flags. I love the yellow ones because when I walk out in the yard after dark, they glow in the moon light. I've taken pictures of some, but not all.
Gena... the picture you have on your avatar is really cute. Emma looks like she enjoys having her picture taken.
Iris
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Thanks Iris. Emma does like her picture taken, a lot!!! Grandma, well, not so much!
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Dwight and all,
I don't know if this is one of those..."you had to be there' stories of not, in order to appreciate this and to think it funny, but, let me explain what happened to us last week to try and keep the humor going..
Me, my 8 yo son, a friend and her two young boys were preparing for a International Culture Fair presentation last week. The boys chose the country of Saudi Arabia, so we got all of the info together, made a display board with info all aboout the country. We had alot of artifacts that I had brought back from when I lived over there, as well as the womens' outfit (total black body wrap that Anne got to wear and display for all to see, the eye's only are allowed to be seen on their women), we had the mens' head gear and grey long gown/dress that they wear; we were ready to present this country to everyone. Then I got a wild hair and asked my friend if she wanted to drive by the local Mosque to make sure that we knew where it was at; she agreed.
I drive into their parking lot and said, "hey, there's a car here, lets go in and talk with someone!" (Mind you, for some reason she is terrified of Muslim men! ???). She also reminded me that she had on (what she calls) a WIFE BEATER shirt (a tank top)...I loaned her one of mine to put on over it. Well, I led the way up to the Mosque in hopes of finding someone to chat with and let the boys ask any questions or at least set up a time to do so, so there are two buildings divided by a breezeway and we go into one and it was a fellowship hall with little classrooms along the walls. I call out and noone is there, so we are in the entrance way ready to leave and the alarm goes off loudly...my friend and her kids and Daniel all take off and run for their lives to my truck; as I just stand there and call out to them sayinhg..."hey, you guys all get back here...where are ya going???". So now we go to the second bldg and we see an old man just sitting in the foyer to the sactuary just reading a book, and we tell him of the little problem that we had just caused with the alarm; so he invites us to come into the foyer and to sit down on the two benches that were sitting across from each other while he goes to the office and makes a call to get someone to come and turn off the alarm...he actually apologised for not hearing it ???.
So the boys all sit together nicely on the one bench and me and friend sit on the other bench across the foyer and wait for the elderly man to come back from phoning the SHEIK (but with his Arabic accent, the old man said 'I will be right back after I call the SHAKE'... instead of pronouncing him as the SHEIK. Well, we are sitting quietly in the foyer and I tell the boys,... "...Now, whatever you do in your final Saudi presentation say 'SHEIK' and do not say 'SHAKE' AND BAKE"! (I don't know what posesed me to say that, but, I guess I was just trying to give them an example of the word 'Shake' in a sentence...and how the boys weren't to say SHAKE...) well, my friend started laughing outloud so hard that she got us and the boys to laughing hysterically!!! She couldn't even look at me; the more that I tried to get them to stop laughing the harder they would laugh and we were tearing up so badley that our makeup was running; and our noses were running, and we were trying so hard to not laugh so loud that we literally had to cover our mouths (with both hands ) in a very serious way in order for the sounds of hilarity to not be resounding throughout the very quiet sanctuary to where it could be heard by the old man to where he might take it as us being disrespectful; (I really do not know if he was just deaf or if God deafened his ears for a moment, b/c he seemed to not have noticed anything at all.) We were holding our our stomaches and trying not to snort out loud, and there were many attempts by me to be seriously show them how to make sure that they make a straight face when the man comes back in, but, to no avail...it only worsened the laughter; they got me to laughing even harder; she alomost peed her pants as she was begging me to stop saying anything else and not to look at her; we barely able to catch our breath... she had me HONKING-(which I hate to do b/c it sounds ugly to me, it embarasses me) (for real.)
Then the guy came back and we all had to stop and freeze the laughter...ALL OF THEM turned off their laughter immediately... but, I couldn't stop laughing even after the man asked me a question, so I tried to swallow my laughs, and I tried to make it look as though I had a very serious and concerned look on my face, you know, with the eyebrows lifted up, but the first couple of words came out of my mouth not as SPEAKING the words, but as LAUGHING the words to the man but, finally I was able to get ahold of my composure and speak normally with him for about 30 seconds; just long enough to get out of there....We hurried to leave while we still had our respect intact. Of course, we lost it outside and my friend told us on the drive home... 'that will be a funny memory to last in infamy'.. she said.
As I said, you might have had to be there to get the SHEIK VERSUS SHAKE (and bake) scenario ;)
PS-I set up an appt, to take Daniel to see the SHEIK so that we could talk and to see if he would loan me a koran. Mohomed (the Sheik) met with us and he had a couple of his people there with him...well they were so glad that we were doing this presentation that he gave Daniel a present...a brand new childs' sized white religious gown to keep; plus he gave me a brand new Koran that is written in both Arabic and English on each page! (Needless to say, that my friend and her boys did not want to come and meet the SHEIK!) but, the presentation was pulled off just fine!
;D ;D
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Susan what a wonderful story. As a teacher, I applaud your teaching techniques. Hands on and up close and personal.
Yes that was a funny story. SHAKE & BAKE has always cracked me up-w/that hillbilly accent. I am from Kentucky and we all sound like that!!
I am glad you got a nice response from that Sheik. My daughter taught in an American school in Switzerland and she had some Saudi students. She asked them for the Koran and they scolded her (they were around 15 yr old) and said "a woman, especially a Western woman, should not read the Koran. It is not for you!" She always had to phrase things for them. Like, would you please sit down instead of a general "sit down" to the whole class. They also had a limo driver take them from the dorm to their class- right across the street!!! My daughter actually liked them alot, and they were in many ways like any American teen, but not so much in other ways!
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Susan,
Thanks for sharing that story. I will never look at shake and bake the same way. It reminded me when I was tutoring my younger sister in World History. We ran across the words the Shittes the first time. Well, instead of learning boring facts, we acted out her entire World History class. We were acting out the Shittes and the Sunnis, well Mom came home and stood at the door and just laughed at me and my younger sister, becuase we thought the word was "Shits". Well we got that remedied, and that only stopped the war scene for about 2 minutes and then we hit it.
That was the most fun I have had in teaching or tutoring anyone, is acting out the textbook. We had some pretty vivid imaginations. We used the chihuahua and the min pin for the camels and such. It was a hoot, of course we trashed the house and had to clean it up afterwards, but we pertended we were the UN on clean up duty, it was funny.
Have a great day.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
I am getting hungry, I might need to go and run to the store and get some Shiek and bake.
ACM
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Susan
You wrote that so well I felt as if I was there! And I don't even know what shake and bake means but I sure caught the laugh! 8) ;D
thank you
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
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I'm glad that I didn't bore you all or say something UNfunny...
Gena, Coming from you being a teacher, I will accept your applause, I try...and hands on is the best way for Daniel to retain what he has learned. I found it very odd though that the HS family that I was with bragged about how they are not prejudiced and how they are unique b/c they can relate to all people and how that they 'love everyone', but, then she was scared to death of Arabs and she would not go that I had set up for she and her boys to attend at the meeting at the Mosque with me and Daniel and she was not allowed (by her husband) to go to either. ?? While at the meeting with the Sheik and the assistant Sheik (who was a CB officer in the American Navy) and an American causcasin Muslim woman, we actually laughed alot with one another and had a decent time; Oh well, she missed out! (Of course in the past (right after 9/11) the Mosque got badly vandalized by some silly teens so that didn't help her fears...I just told her that IF GOD wills for something to happen while we were there, that HE would make it to where it wouldn't be more of an experience than we could handle...she still refused!)
Interesting about your daughter's taeching experience in Switzerland; what a great experience to get; just yesterday I took Daniel to the Science Spectrum (the largest surround sound speakers and surround screens anywhere) to see the true story of a Swiss guy who climbed the Alps and died yrs ago and how the son just finished his lifelong quest to do the climb himself and made it successfully to the top...that has got to be the mos beautiful place on earth!! If you get a chance to see this, it is well worth it;.) Yes, the Saudi's are either very wealthy or very poor; sounds like these were the wealthy kids; (I could tell you war stories of the extents of both of the 'classes' treated me while over there...pretty amzing some of it :o)
Yes, I think every American made fun of that commercial just b/c of the terrible accent that the kids would use... (Arcturus...Shake and Bake was a TV commercial from the 1960's about a southern (more HILLBILLY) family where it would show the little boy or girl running to the kitchen to help mom to make SHAKE AND BAKE CHICKEN (this shake and bake product was bought in grocerie stores, it came in a box and it was simply a plastic bag of chiken breading in a bag...you would put the chicken peice in the bag, SHAKE the bag to get the breading on the piece of chicken and then BAKE the chicken in the oven and when it came out of the oven, the TV would show the kids eating that baked chicken and they would say in the most hillbilly accent ever..."SHAKE AND BAKE...AND I HELPED!!!"...An American Commercial ICON ::))...you had to see it ;) But, I'm glad that you enjoyed this little story. :D
Anne, I cna just see you acting out her history book. I am sure she will always remember that! And using a min pin (miniature pinscher doggy) and an even smaller chihuahua doggy as a camel had to be a hoot! ;D
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Susan,
It was. Mom was laughing at us becuase we even had them dress up as camels, they kept tripping over all their beaded decorations and such. It was quite funny.
Good to see you posting again.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
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Ok guys.
Whats a window? ;D 8) ;D
The eye? lol just kidding.
Blessings and wisdom
Randy
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;D Yes we took a tad detour didn't we.
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I'm sorry, I digress :-\ ::)
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To All,
Without the detours all would be complacent and boring. I am thankful for a chance to check out the scenery.
Thanks for digressing.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire
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Susan,
Thanks for sharing that story with us about visiting a Mosque. You crack me up! You would be such a blast to hang out with. I can just picture the events in your story. Sheik & bake- That's hysterical! :D You would probably get me laughing so hard my sides would hurt and I couldn't breathe. I love it that you have such a good time with your activities in life. That's great! :)
I would have liked to have seen your educational presentation on Saudi Arabia too. That sounds really cool! What a great learning experience for Daniel! It was a great idea to visit the Mosque too. :)
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Anne, I'm glad that you dont mind the digressions! ;)
Paula,
I am releived that you all liked it. ONE of these days, Lord willing, we might get to visit. You crack me up too ;D! (What is funny to others is that I am being serious and others don't take me serious, they see it as funny ::) :D lol!
Anne was dressed in the black 'borka';she said nothing, as Arabic women do in public when around men; and Daniel was dressed as a 'bedouine camel herder', and the other boy was dressed as King Abdul Aziz (long gown and white head wrap), and the other boy was the Imam (the Sheik/Holy Man) his outfit was what Daniel was given by the Sheik of the Mosque, but he shared the long white gown and let his friend wear it with a white skull cap. They all acted it out as though it was a play (in the first peson...)what was really neat was that the Sheik had loaned us this HUGE (larger than poster size) picture of their holy city of Mecca; there must have been about at least a million muslim MEN bent down and bowing to the east...all wearing white gowns and a head covering, it was interesting. It is something that they won't soon forget (We had all of the five senses that were in the presentation: the visuals (pix (ha, I have a pix of the RED SEA and the western coast of Saudi Arabia that I, artifacts, the taste (made an authentic Saudi dish to eat)
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Darn it, I DID IT AGAIN...HIT SEND BEFORE FINISHED...I appologise here ::)
(con't)
the 5 senses were of
1-(see)that pix of where the Red Sea had parted! I had taken that as we flew over the Red Sea...one of my very favorite pix in the world!
2-(taste) the food,
3-(the smell)- of Arabic spices (cardamom) AND Arabic insence that I had lit,
4-hearing the kids talk about the facts, and
5-(touch)- all kinds of artifacts and money bills and coins and natural grown crystal rocks that were all pefectly 8 edged in perfect symetry, hand made Mosques (one for women and one for the men), etc...
Yes, the visit to the Mosque really 'rocked' as Daniel says. The Sheik really took to Daniel too; they were just not impressed that the woman and her two boys didn't come along with us. (their loss ;) These are very kind people; very educated and very caustious too; of course we had to take our shoes off and they gave us a guided tour,answered all of our questions and then we just shot the breeze for a while. (Ha, maybe next year we can do the country of the 'VATICAN CITY'; last year we did TEXAS (as if it is it's own country... ;))
good night for real this time!
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Susan,
Wonder where you got the idea of the Vatican City??? When my son grows older and stuff, we may do that country, but in preparparation we may go and visit Vatican City again. It is beautiful and Italy is wonderful. Ahhhh, I miss the Italian country.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire