bible-truths.com/forums
=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Marky Mark on October 31, 2009, 03:58:27 PM
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Hello all.
I thought this would be fun. We all know how Rays sense of humor shines through in all of his writings. I thought it would be cool (((to list))) some of his marvelous anecdotal elements that we come across when reading his material.
Come on now, we have all read them.:-X So I'll start off with this one.
From an email reply.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,7167.0.html
Would you serve wedding cake in a dog's dish?
:o :D
Peace...Mark
Hint; THE MORE YOU READ... ;) THE MORE YOU WILL FIND...
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I can use this one too: !!Wrong!! Paleface!!
drag curser over second word.
george ;D 8) ::)
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I can use this one too: !!Wrong!! Paleface!!
drag curser over second word.
george ;D 8) ::)
George,
That was pretty good, it's one of Ray's most typical replies to incorrect answers. I was looking for the Paleface, didn't see it, but proceeded to follow your instructions. I want to participate in this exercise too, but will wait until Tomorrow when I have more time to think and reflect(My Day Off). Going through the lack of Daylight Savings Blues today and have to work.
Kind Regards, Samson.
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i always think it is funny when he gets worked up and says "they're INSANE! they're DEMENTED! ECT.......".....i don't know why that always makes me laugh....
lauriellen
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Ray; Does a cat have a tail?
I did a couple of searches but could not find a specific quote, but found some very interested reading non the less.
Peace, Bluzman
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great idea mark. and george, you are so very clever with the keyboard. i will look into some of ray's writings and emails to come up with some of his quotes.
claudia
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Lunch with Satan.
http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3415.0.html
:o :D
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here's part of a reply to an email to ray in 2006. it is so ray.
'One doesn't need to know how to spell properly in order to understand God's Word--I am proof of that.
Ray'
:D :D :D
claudia
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Now Claudia..Lots of us can identify with THAT statement by Ray! I won't mention any names! ;) :D
Kathy ;)
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Ha! What about the email Craig just posted?? Read it...I just found a new favorite funny from Ray...
"I have given this same challenge to hundreds of detractors and critics from the world of Christendom, and to date, NOT ONE has been able to do it. Maybe you will be the first? I will now hold my breath................................." (Ray)
Now that right there is funny to me! I hope he really doesn't hold his breath!!! He'll turn blue!! :D
Kathy ;)
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Ninny,
I just read that in one of Ray's emails. Too funny! He does have a way with words.:)
Beth
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I love it when Ray says "Oh Really?" it just cracks me up how it rolls off his tongue. I start laughing so bad I choke on my drink when driving and listening to him.
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I like this one and found it in a few places ;D
Listen carefully once more, this is not rocket science.
http://bible-truths.com/email17.htm
Am I going too fast for anyone? This is not rocket science. These Scriptures are easy!
http://bible-truths.com/lake2.html
What a revelation! That’s right, boys and girls, living people are "ALIVE" and dead people are "DEAD." This is not rocket science!
http://bible-truths.com/lake3.html
This is not rocket science. When Satan blinds the minds of people, they "believe NOT.
http://www.bible-truths.com/lake9.html
And since God is ALL mighty and ALL-powerful He can ALWAYS dominate.
One does not need to be a rocket scientist to see what God did in this situation and all such situations in the history of the human race.
http://bible-truths.com/lake15.html
Notice God’s Word, "SHALL go forth…," "SHALL accomplish that which I please…" and it "SHALL prosper in the thing whereto I sent it." This is not rocket science. This is 1, 2, 3, elementary deduction:
http://bible-truths.com/lake5.html
"NO MAN CAN SAY THAT JESUS IS THE LORD, BUT BY the Holy Spirit"
This is not rocket science to believe these verses, but the carnal mind will fight these verses all day long!
http://bible-truths.com/email5.htm
Now when that animal is offered for the sin is that animal guilty of speaking harshly to it’s wife? Come on this is not rocket science. It’s a sin OFFERING, it’s not ‘the’ sin.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,6719.0.html
I mean it is scientist that invented computers, automobiles, rocket ships and pacemakers. It is scientist that do this not theologians. Most theologians do not invent lasers, scientists do. So don’t think that all scientist are stupid or something. You know when we say, ‘you don’t need to be a rocket scientist,’ why do we say that? Why do we use that terminology? Because to be a rocket scientist you’ve got to have more formulas and more knowledge about physics and quantum math, engineering, general science, specific science and specialized science, than you can shake a stick at. These men are absolute geniuses.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,5815.0.html
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Keep-um coming ;D
Don’t be deceived with this sweet honey dripping sanctimonious nonsense that you hear from all the pews around the country and on television.
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,7414.0.html
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How about when Ray said:
" And you say this is "LITERAL," do you? What beast is there that can first of all "blaspheme?" Have SEVEN HEAD?" With TEN HORNS?" Is a cross between a LEOPARD, BEAR and a LION? And it LIVES IN THE O-C-E-A-N? "Literal?" "AM I GOING TOO FAST FOR YOU?" (EMPHASIS IS MINE - JACOB)
God be with you,
Ray
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From LOF 1:
But, on the other hand, ALL life is NOT like grass in certain other ways. Not all life is attached to the ground, unintelligent, and colored green! Am I going too fast for anyone?
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I remember laughing out loud at this part...this was the 1st bible study I had listened to (http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,6452.0.html):
Act 17:31 Because He (God) hath appointed a day, in the which He (God) will judge the world in righteousness by that Man (Jesus Christ) whom He hath ordained; whereof He hath given assurance unto all men, in that He hath raised Him from the dead.
God is going to send the Man that died for our sins and raised back up from the dead. As an assurance to the people that are being judged you see, that there is a future life for them in righteousness. But first they have to be judged.
Who is the assurance given to? ALL men!
When is this assurance going to be given to them? In judgment.
But what kind of assurance can you give people in judgment, that is IF the assurance is for sure you are going to hell for all eternity? Because if you wasn’t (going to hell) you would have already come up in the first resurrection, which you didn’t… so you are all going to hell? Now how do you like that for the assurance, that is in Christ Jesus? GOSH, can't we see these things??!!!
Marques
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I think of this one often, one of my favourites.
From http://www.bible-truths.com/email2.htm
"There is a great PURPOSE in it all. And all will turn out just great in the end. We need a spirit of wisdom to trust God that He knows EXACTLY WHAT HE IS DOING DOWN TO THE VIBRATION OF THE LAST ELECTRON."
I know this was about Ray's sense of humor, but this is just one of them things he said I never forgot.
G.Driggs
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Kittens
« on: August 15, 2009, 10:28:55 PM »
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Hello again Ray,
I wanted to say hello again and remind you that you are still loved and being prayed for! I wanted to tell you, too that today I was reading the LOF part 7 an as I read your words once again I was reminded of the kind of man you are...you said:
"I see a kind and gentle loving God in the face of a kitten."
Oh my gosh! there is more gentleness in that statement than you may realize!...
i love it when ray talks about kittens and cats. he and manuela have cats. i have cats...
claudia
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Tithe
« on: July 27, 2006, 08:04:19 AM »
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Feel better now? Hell knows no fury like a Christian who has been shown the Truth.
Ray
i know he's said this at least a gazillion times. :D
claudia
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Heres one
"They (Christians) cant walk and chew gum at the same time.....spiritually!
How true it is
Anthony
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Here's one I just retrieved from the EMail to Ray Archives where he calls this individual, A LYING TWO FACED HYPOCRITE, see below in blue print.
Liar
« on: May 29, 2006, 08:49:15 AM »
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I challenge you to read my first e-mail several times, and then repley. Think about what I said very carefuly. You say that you seek the truth, if that is so then think very carefuly over it. Comprehend what I am saying. Then decide whether to go to Jesus saying "I have sinned." or come to me to debate. Both of us are gracious to repented sinners. Not so, to those who refuse.
Scott, here is your first email to me and my comment to it:
Dear Scott:
I want to make a comment and ask a question regarding your email. I belive that you are not being honest. See my comment before after your comment.....
I hope that you are either prepaed to have your eyes opened. Or, meet your Maker. I challege your blindness to the existance of God as One, Yet Three. If I shine light into your eyes, repent, and come to Jesus, saying, "I have sinned. I grant you that the word Trinity, is not found in the scripture. However The existatance of God in Three, Is a fact. You stated that the so-called Trinity was not logical. You are right. It is not logical; at first. However it can become logical. It does not matter whether or not you understand. God's existance does not change, just because Ray Smith does not understand it. I could help Mr. Smith to understand it, if you were willing receive light when light is shinned. But, if I shine light, and you flea from light, your course is set. Do not flea the Light, come to the Light. If I give you understanding, will you receive it? I can make what seems to be illogical, become logical. Can you receive it? I would like to give you a few simple illustrations to open your understanding. Afterwards the Scriptures fall into place. You say that three in one is illogical. At first maybe. Can you use your imagination. Imagine- three links in a chain. Think about that for a momment, before you go farther. I would like to ask a simple question. How many links are in that chain? The answer is, "Three". I would like to ask another question; How many chains is it? the answer is of course, "One". There is one chain, and three links. I want you to give thought to that for a moment. One chain with three links in it. A chain made of steel, or plastic. Picture that in your mind. One chain, three links. God exist in a chain made of the Spirit of God. Each link being the same Eternal, Omnisience God. If you were speaking to One, or the Other, you are speaking to the Same. The First being in heave. the Second come forth. The Third, in man (If he is born again.) The First in the "true tabernacle in heave n, which God hath pitched, and not man" Holy (seperated, set apart). The second, come forth as mediator. Who walk with adam in the garden, and appeared to the saints. Who appeared to Moses on the mount, spoken of in the second person, "And the Angel of the Lord appeared unto Moses in a flame of fire out of the nidst of the bush... ...., ... Moreover he said, I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isac and the God of Jacob..." Ex. 2 it was the second "So-call" person of God who appeared to the saint. It was He who it was prophecied would be born into the human race. "and hie name shall be called Emmanuel, which is being inturpted, God with us."
COMMENT: Look at your next statement here:
For two thausand years "WE" have been calling Him Emmanuel, "God with us" and you have called the word of God a lier.
COMMENT: How is it that you state: "...you [that's me] have called the word of God a lier [liar]"? Where have I done that? HOw have I done that? Where is your proof of that statement? Show me. Quote me. In reference to Jesus being Emmanuel, how have I made God's word a lie? I await your reply.......................
Ray
Here Scott is your weasel word reply:
My comment "We" was intentend to be a general term meaning those of us who believe in the Deity of Christ(and the Trinity). "You" was intended to mean those of you who do not believe in the Deity of Christ. God's Word does reveal that to be the truth, whether a man understands and believes it or not. I hope that I caused you to give this some thought. God is gracious to those come to Him, saying, "I have sinned." Find a strong(not a weak) conservative Baptist church. Thank you for writing back,
Scott
So Scott, the "you" [that's me] that you address in your fourth or fifth email now, is not "me?" Just a "general" you? And now (after trying to teach me the plan of salvation in numerous emails and literally "CHALLENGE" me), you suggest that if I answer your "challange," then I am a "debater" and fall from YOUR'S AND CHRIST'S grace.
You lying, two-faced hypocrite, Scott. YOU challenged me, and I asked to to provide proof of your slanderous accusations, and you provided NONE. You got caught with your pants down in your attempt to ridicule my paper. You couldn't find a "quote" where I "called God's word a LIAR." But being the spiritual coward that you are, you now attempt to bully me into accepting your pagan doctrines.
Furthermore, Scott, you didn't even read my paper on the Trinity, did you? So I "deny the divinity of Jesus" do I? And just where do I do that? Where? Show me where I do that in my paper? You can't, you lying weasel, becuase there is no such thing in my Trinity paper. But let me show you what IS IN my paper:
In my paper "GOD IS NOT A TRINITY" page 22 under the caption: "WHO AND WHAT IS JUSUS CHRIST?" you will read the following:
Paragraph 3: "Is Christ God? YES HE IS"
Paragraph 4: "Is Christ worthy of worship? YES HE IS!"
Paragraph 5: "So Christ is called 'God'"
Paragraph 6: "Jesus IS God!"
Etc.
It is YOU, Scott, who had better be thinking about bitterly repenting of your lies, hypocrisy, and slander.
Sincerely,
Ray
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I thought that was pretty good and appropriate in this guy's case.
Kind Regards, Samson.
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Debate?
« on: July 18, 2006, 08:29:47 AM »
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Ray,
Mr. Smith you surely do get to the point, and it seems you do it very well... Do you know of Farrell Till? I would love to see this man attack you the way he does some others, I am asking YOU if there would be a chance of you DEBATING him? He seems to like to make people look small. Mr. Till used to be a preacher, now he is just a moron.(OPPS) How does one go from believing in something to being an atheist? Even after He did not believe He continued to preach for money. :o By the way Ray, I asked you because He is one of those well educated men, and me thinks you could give him an education.
Smiles and thanks,
Michael
Dear Michael:
I would rather sit on mound of fire ants than debate this guy! :D :D :D :D
God be with you,
'Ray
isn't this one just great?!
our brother ray most definitely has a way with words.
claudia
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This is not so much funny ha! ha! but rather scathing sarcasm, but that's me, I love scathing sarcasm, it's funnay ha! ha! to me:).
"What prompted this letter was your statement that: "Greek is the most exact language on the face of the earth," followed by the statement that Christ is going to reign "for ever and for ever and for ever ... " In the English, this statement is contradictory and redundant, and in the Greek it has no equivalent. If "for ever" means "always" or "eternity," what pray does "and for ever" mean? Is that something like whiter than white? It is not I who find fault with that statement, but God."
I would have been tempted to have added, Dr Hagee were you once a ROCKET SCIENTIST?
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Ray; Does a cat have a tail?
I did a couple of searches but could not find a specific quote, but found some very interested reading non the less.
Peace, Bluzman
hey bluz,
this might be the quote reference you were thinking about.
claudia
Re: The 'mark' of the beast?
« Reply #4 on: Today at 06:24:59 PM » Quote
From 'What Happened to the Church Jesus Built?' @ http://bible-truths.com/lake8.html
...Make no mistake about it:
"For the love of money is the [Gk. ‘a’] root of all evil" (I Tim. 6:10).
Before the Reformation, it was thought by some that one could practically "buy" one’s salvation.
Jesus "CAST OUT them that sold and bought in the temple." Is there, "buying and selling" going on in the Church today? Excuse me…does a cat have a tail?...
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This is a lesson and also a great Rayism.
from: http://bible-truths.com/email15.htm#impress
Most of your questions are silly and demeaning. "Are you [that's me] a Saul or a Paul?" What kind of question is that? "Do you destroy or build up the body of Christ?" Do you really expect me to say that "I DESTROY the body of Christ?" Do you? Well then why ask such a demeaning and stupid question?
How many sinners have I lead to Jesus? NONE! And neither have you: "NO MAN C-A-N come to Me[Jesus] except the FATHER [the 'FATHER'--not YOU and not ME, but 'THE FATHER'!!!] which has sent Me draw him [Greek: 'DRAG him']: and I will raise him up at the last day" (John 6:44 & 65). We don't bring sinners to Christ, GOD THE FATHER DOES. Read your Bible, and stop being so 'holier-than-thou."
God be with you,
Ray
george.
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Rebuilding the Temple
« on: July 12, 2006, 10:07:15 AM »
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> Hi Ray,
>
> It's been awhile since my last email. I just recently heard again for
> the umpteenth time (over the past 25 years) an end time teaching
> regarding the rebuilding and restoration of the temple and temple
> worship in Jerusalem. >
> is there a possibility of the rebuilding & restoration of the temple in this
> generation?
>
> Thanks,
>
> Jere
Dear Jere:
With some few exceptions, my take is this: "If the Christian Church teaches it, it is Unscriptural."
God be with you, Ray
i think i have read this or heard this one at least a gazillion times too. :D :D
really staying prayerful for ray's ability to physically set thru the time required for the conference. and staying hopeful that our Father God will be merciful to ray, and to all who seek the Truths of the Gospel.
claudia
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So nice to see Ray in form ;D
Ray!!! What are you doing? You name names! DUH!!!
2009 Mobile Conference
http://bible-truths.com/video/Conference2009_1.wmv
Thanks Ray...
Mark
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Learned a new word while listening to one of Ray's audio's; flibbertigibbet. Now if I could just remember which audio it was, listened to about 20 hrs of various ones over the weekend.
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i tried searching flibbertigibbet (which you most likely did too), but your comment is the only time that word came up. i went to kat's transcription section, which includes audios, and put in flibbertigibbet in the search box at the top of that page, but nothing other than your comment again.
so, i was of no help at all...but, that word cracks me up!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D
claudia
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Folks,
Flibbertigibbet is an Middle English word referring to a flighty or whimsical person, usually a young female. In modern use, it is used as a slang term, especially in Yorkshire, for a gossipy or overly talkative person. Its origin is in a meaningless representation of chattering.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flibbertigibbet
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Now that is a good one, there IBob!! heehee!! Thank you for that! I'm glad none of my friends knows that word!! ha!! :D
Kathy ;)
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I like this one... "twitterpated". Ray said it at the conference and I giggled out loud.
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I think these are my favorites:
"Hell knows no fury like a Christian being shown the truth"
..."it's TOTAL NONSENSE"
"am I going too fast for anybody?"
"I will now hold my breath......................................."
:)
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Bump.
I try to vision Rays facial expression when he's writing these lines.
"Now listen carefully. Here is wisdom beyond its years. When a scientist creates an experiment or machine that malfunctions, is he responsible for the malfunction? Yes. Does he hold the experiment or machine responsible? No. Does he hold God responsible? No. Okay.
Now then, according to Christendom, when God creates an experiment or machine that malfunctions, is He responsible for the malfunction? No. Does He hold the experiment or machine responsible? Yes. Does He hold man responsible? Yes. See the wisdom?"
http://bible-truths.com/lake2.html
"Ask a hundred pastors or theologians if your mother, let’s say, were to bow her knees in the name of Jesus [Jehovah-Saviour] Christ and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, will she be saved? I am pretty sure all one hundred would say, "YES, OF COURSE!" Next ask the same one hundred whether all those in heaven and earth who will also bow and confess Jesus as Lord will be saved, and I am pretty sure all one hundred would say, "NO, OF COURSE NOT!" See the difference? Me neither!"
http://bible-truths.com/lake5.html
Gary
(bold, italics, underline...mine)
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Quoted from "In The Day of the Great Slaughter,"
Try and convince any professing Christian that he "despises" God’s word. You better be ready to run.
Arc
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Instead of quoting Ray (I'm enjoying the quotes, BTW), I just wanted to let you all know that last night, my wife took out my printouts transcribed from Ray's 2008 conference about Creation & the flood. She's never been too excited about the things Ray has to say (She has little to no trust in Bible teachers). But between the information presented, how he presented it, and his wonderful sense of humor, she was rather enamored with it all.
I pray this continues and that she is drawn to read and study further (I pretty much have everything on this website printed out, except the e-mails to Ray). Thank God for Ray's sense of humor and how it shines through his writings! :D
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It's kind of interesting that even through his pain, Ray still manages that sense of humor! He has blessed us all and hey, Rockrdude, if your wife is drawn to the teaching because of ray's unique delivery, that would be sweet! He surely has drawn us all with that! I have loved that since the first thing I read on the website.. I started at the top and read my way down!! still do it all the time!! :D You'd think that over the last 5 years I'd have it all down pat! But it's still refreshing, everytime I read! The favorite line of mine hands down has still got to be..."...I'm holding my breath now...." I love that!! :D
Kathy ;)
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My favorites are when he gets angry and/or sarcastic. Like in the "Was Christ Made Sin?" audio:
This is rank heresy! This is the worst kind of teaching I have ever heard in my life! This is the bottom of the barrel; this is the dregs, this is dirty religion!
I also really like the 23 Minutes in Hell audio; he gets quite animated in that one ("ridiculous nonsense", "bizarre garbage", "evil filth", "I don't even know what to think about people who write like this!", "[chuckling] this guy...he really does write like a third-grader!"etc.) And especially this part, reading from the Bill Wiese book:
"[the demon] threw me into the wall, and every bone in my body broke, and I felt pain"--well, duh, I would think so!---"I just began to lie on the floor there"---I just began to lie there? I thought he THREW you there! 'I just began to lie there'. What is that?! If this were a third-grader he'd get a low mark for really bad grammar...'I just began to lie there'. No you didn't begin to lie there, you were thrown there with all your bones broken! LOL
And of course the two classics already mentioned: "Oh really?" and "Wrong, paleface!"
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Ray has such a way with words! And when you get used to his delivery it's even funnier! I have listened to his audios and watched the videos so many times..I always am amused at the way he says things! I'm so glad I got to go to the conference this year! He's a hoot, but he gets his point across!! I wish I could do that!! :D
Kathy ;)
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:D
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,1039.0.html
***Dear Gutless Wonders:***
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Oh my goodness!! (That was my Shirley Temple impersonation)!!
I had forgotten all about that one, Mark!! hahaha!! That is one of the best!! Thank you! :D
Kathy ;)
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You know I think the bottom line is, "esteem others more than yourself" Humilty doesn't come easy unless you know yourself to be the beast and you are not God.
So, esteeming an older roofer who doesn't kow-tow to us would be a pretty hard lump of coal to swallow! I mean, after all WHO, does he think he is!!!!
You would think people would be more open to learning or unlearning but obviously they do not want to know anything directly opposed to their own thoughts as though they knew everything under the sun or son.
When people get so angry with Ray and frustrated because they can't defeat him then their only recourse is to call him all kinds of names rather than admit this might be a fellow who knows something they don't. If they were esteeming him they would at least be polite and listen and then they might learn. judy
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***Dear Gutless Wonders:***
HAHAHAHAHA... LOL!!
:) :D ;D :) :D ;D
That is HILARIOUS!!!
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I like this one... "twitterpated". Ray said it at the conference and I giggled out loud.
hi vangie,
i saw your post when you first wrote it, but i never posted that i also laughed out loud at the conference, after ray said that word. :D :D :D
but then, many things that ray said, were able to cause me to laugh out loud. and that felt good. :)
claudia
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http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,6142.0.html
He was as carnal as any slob who has ever drawn breath.
not over there in that ugly swill of a city called Jerusalem.
:D
Mark
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The ending from email: "You Want to Impress Me?"
http://bible-truths.com/email15.htm#impress
Your wish is granted. Your email is posted.
Have a nice life,
Ray
Lol, Ray is the MAN!
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I think these are my favorites:
"Hell knows no fury like a Christian being shown the truth"
/b]
Hahaha, that is a classic!
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'Wow! What prophetic understanding! What a fantastic miracle! What divine revelation! What spiritual insight! WHAT A CROCK!!'
LOL :D
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LOL as carnal as any slob
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LOL!!! Good one Myms
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I always LOVE "What a crock"! ;D
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From Synagogue of Satan....
"A malfunctioning, carnal-minded, God-hating, immoral, human slob, is of great value to God."
LOL!! ;D :D
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From Synagogue of Satan....
"A malfunctioning, carnal-minded, God-hating, immoral, human slob, is of great value to God."
LOL!! ;D :D
priceless extol! loved it.
claudia
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I love listening to this analogy given by Ray here. Especially when he says "ITS INSANE". Listen at the 12 minute mark to the 14:45 mark. The story is tragic, but he is showing the ridiculousness of christian theology. It makes me laugh everytime i hear it.
http://bible-truths.com/audio/9-2-06MobileConf.2.mp3 (http://bible-truths.com/audio/9-2-06MobileConf.2.mp3)
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From Does All Mean All?
Did God through the soft chirping of a little sparrow say 'Paul why do you persecute Me?' And Paul, ‘what are you little bird.’ 'I’m your conscience speaking, you shouldn’t go persecute these people.' And Paul, ‘does somebody have a slingshot, I have a bird I want to get rid of here.’
No, God struck him down--WHOOOOM!--with this blinding light from heaven! Probably peed his pants! Scared the wits out of him!
:D ;D :D
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Good find Extol! ;D
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No, God struck him down--WHOOOOM!--with this blinding light from heaven! Probably peed his pants! Scared the wits out of him!
i never really thought about paul's reaction to his donkey talking to him, and that Light that knocked him to the ground. cracked up at your statement.
claudia
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;D ;D ;D
I hope Ray doesn't mind this, does he? they are gems.
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Claudia,
Maybe you were referring to Balaam??? I don't see that Saul's donkey spoke to him.
Num 22:30 The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your donkey on which you have ridden all your life to this day? Have I ever been accustomed to do so to you?" And he said, "No."
Friend Bob
i never really thought about paul's reaction to his donkey talking to him, and that Light that knocked him to the ground. cracked up at your statement.
claudia
[/quote]
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I just read this today, it is kinda funny, but most importantly, it is SO true....Ray really nails "mainstream theology" here in one small paragraph:
"I remember well the teaching of Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong on the subject of the final destiny of those thrown into the lake of fire.
His study went something like this:
"All have sinned (scripture, scripture, scripture),
but Christ came to die for sinners (scripture, scripture),
but those who reject Christ’s sacrifice will be thrown into the lake of fire (scripture),
from which there will be no salvation [NO scripture!]"
I learned a lot from that study."
From: http://bible-truths.com/rapture.htm
;D ;D
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I found another great line while re-reading Ray's tithing article. I didn't check to see if someone already posted it; if so, I apologize...
http://www.bible-truths.com/tithing.html
"Now then, is there a Scholar alive anywhere on earth that can explain to us how this one single unparalleled and never-again-to-be-duplicated event, is Scriptural proof that Christians should give 10% of their annual salaries (not the spoils of war, but their money, their salaries), not once, but year after year after year, not to Melchizedek, but to Clergymen who claim to be ministers of Jesus Christ? If anyone can see a similarity here, I will show him the similarity between an elephant and a fruit fly."
LOL ;D ;) :)
Daywalker 8)
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Daywalker, that one is very good!! I like it!! I'm smiling! :D
Kathy ;)
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lol elephant and a fruit fly. This thread could go on for pages and pages and I wouldn't get tired of it. ;D
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Hi All,
I was reviewing some of Ray's Emails and Answers from the front page of the Site, the questions and answers on "Tithing" in particular and found this remark, thought it was pretty good and appropriate. Read below !
[Ray Replies]
Dear Confused:
(This is beginning to sound like a "Dear Abby" column). Sorry, but I don't know your name.
Don't let the charlatan preachers of prosperity give you an inferiority complex over your spiritual standing with God based on how much money you give to these men with insatiable appetites for worldly possessions and all that filthy lucre can lavish on their carnal flesh.
That's not to say that there are not legitimate expenses in operating a church congregation. However, these expenses need to be met with FREE WILL OFFERINGS. That is how ALL the expenses of the early New Testament Church were met. Tithing was NEVER taught by the Apostle Paul to the nations.
I have a whole paper on my site entitled: "Tithing is Unscriptural Under the New Covenant." Subtitled: "The Fraudulent Fleecing of the Flock"
I personally do not belong to or attend any institutionalized church. I am, however, a member of the Body of Christ which is The Church of The Living GOD. There are no monetary obligations to belong to God's Family of Believers, however, one must be willing to sacrifice his all in service and obedience to his Lord.
Your true fellowship and communion is with God the Father and your Lord Jesus Christ. If anyone wants to put a monetary price tag on that fellowship, RUN! You do not have to buy an orange dress to feast at God's Table.
Sincerely,
Ray
This is beginning to sound like a dear abby column, Regards, Samson
/color]
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I liked Ray's replie in a email I just read.
Dear---- no, no, and no
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The last two audios of Ray's 2007 Nashville Conference have many humorous moments but one of my favorites starts at the 15:00 mark of http://bible-truths.com/audio/Nashville07_7B.mp3 (http://bible-truths.com/audio/Nashville07_7B.mp3); he was talking about why Jesus was always being followed by huge crowds of people:
"To be healed....and free meals, and I bet the fish that Jesus multiplied were reeelly good!"
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Rays ultimate TV listings to babylonian spiritual enlightenment. :D :P
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,6110.0.html
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I dont remember if this was already stated but heres another one talking about the will of the Father.
"The church cant wrap their brains around it. They cant walk and chew gum at the same time....spiritually speaking".
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Rays ultimate TV listings to babylonian spiritual enlightenment. :D :P
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,6110.0.html
Never seen that one. I'm sure he could have added a few more. ;D
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After reading this old email, I had to resurrect this post :D ;)
“Splitting someone's head open with an electric guitar is against the law
even if there is no specific law stating that it is illegal to split someone's head open with an electric guitar.
Am I going too fast for you?”
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2720.0.html
Daywalker 8)
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From Lazarus and The Rich Man:
(http://bible-truths.com/lazarus.html (http://bible-truths.com/lazarus.html))
Parable of mote in brother’s eye (Lk. 6:39-42).
"Now why are you observing the mote in your brother’s eye, yet the beam in your own eye your are not considering?"
Comment: A beam is a long piece of timber. How is it possible to have a long piece of timber in one’s eye? I know people who could fit it into their mouth, but eye, never.
From You Fools, You Hypocrites:
(http://bible-truths.com/fools.htm (http://bible-truths.com/fools.htm))
Jesus did not go around speaking as if He were a performer on a Shakespearean stage.
From Does God Learn?
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8831.0.html (http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8831.0.html)
I know He knows everything. But does He know everything because He learned it all?
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If anyone wants to put a monetary price tag on that fellowship, RUN! You do not have to buy an orange dress to feast at God's Table.
this statement by ray is hysterically funny.
claudia
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"Do you actually talk like you write? Weird!"
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,9106.msg76132.html#msg76132 (http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,9106.msg76132.html#msg76132)
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"Do you actually talk like you write? Weird!"
http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,9106.msg76132.html#msg76132 (http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,9106.msg76132.html#msg76132)
Hahaha, WOW.. I just read that entire email [technically, two].... O my gosh! Ray was right "WHAT A CROCK!" It sounded like the guy was trying his very best to sound super-intelligent, but clearly he's not. From beginning to ending--junk!
Daywalker 8)
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http://bible-truths.com/23-minutes-in-hell.html:
"So Bill would have us believe that he was both out of his physical body, (which he left on the dining room floor in California) and in his physical body in Hell, which he said was just like his real body. Would that make his Hell body an Unreal body, or a spirit body, both of which contradicts that he left his real body back in California. So one of Bill's physical bodies was in Hell, while Bill's other physical body was at his home in the living room, and his physical body which was "...just like his real body," was also a "spirit body." Will the real body of Bill Wiese please stand up? What a crock!"
Now, THAT is my new favorite! :D ;) ;D :) :o 8) :P
Daywalker
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haha, yeah i loved that one two daywalker.
this is another one
"So why should it seem strange that from this point forward, my attitude is becoming totally incredulous toward Bill's fantastic journey to "Neverland?" Uh, I mean to "Neitherland,"--the "Neitherworld."
Why do you not start with standup Ray?;P
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haha, We're having so much fun aren't we!
"I'm sure the Lord must have rolled His eyes and said 'I can handle that one'".
No God didn't roll His eyes, but I can tell you who is rolling his eyes at this very moment."
(From " 23 Minutes ")
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From 23 Minutes:
I won't take the time to go through the absurdities of Bill's retelling of this story like who for instance, how many of you believe that even a judge would be carrying around $25,000 in his billfold? Since when could fining a girl $25,000 for a traffic violation, be called "justice?" That's crazy. I guess Bill thought that Increasing a $100 fine two hundred and fifty times, to $25,000, makes for a better story. Never mind the fact that it also makes for a bigger liar. What was it that Bill said about it being "...impossible for me to EXAGGERATE...?"
;D
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From 23 Minutes:
Nowhere do the Scriptures show that when a person dies, that God's time has run out with that person. Maybe if He had a little more time (a few more days or months), He could have persuaded so and so to repent and learn righteousness. But fate apparently threw God a curve ball and God struck out when just another pitch or two might have yielded a home run (pardon my metaphor).
:D :D :D