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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Craig on March 26, 2008, 10:24:51 AM
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In case some of you don't know the drill, I'll start a story and you will add to it in short 1 or 2 sentence posts. Lets have some fun today :D Show your imaginations and creativity.
Once upon a time there was 12 little sheep that lived on farmers Clays 100 acre spread. Their day was filled with eating the nice green pasture and lounging in the warm sun. Life was good. Sheep, being as sheep are, did not get excited about much and followed the flock and stayed together. One day Buddy, the smallest sheep of the bunch and the one most prone to find what little trouble that was to be found, looked over the horizon to Green Acres Hog Farm.
"I wonder what it would be like to be a hog?" Buddy said to the other sheep. They decided to go have a look, they gathered together and.......................
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;D .....voted Buddy their fearless leader! Then, with wreckless abandonment they headed out, leaving the boring drudgery of their daily lives behind! The breeze seemed especially delightful as they tromped off....
(http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/702/702827byhzi8b9ak.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
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Then, without warning the most horrible and vile stench of the hogs reached them. Little Buddy was too small to smell it as it went right over his head having risen in the air above him. Buddy had no idea what had happened to cause the flock to vere off in all directions to escape this assult to their delecate senses! :D
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The big bad wolf ate the sheep.
And you all are no fun :( ;) ;D
All work and no play............... ;D
Oh well, back to being serious now.
Craig
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No no no Craig. The big bad wolf did not eat all the sheep because they too didn't come near the pig pen because their noses are far more sensitive to scent than the sheeps! So they were all safe and Buddy walked up to the pig king and made his aquaintence! ;D
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I just don't get it Craig............
(http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/780/780870obhcf5bwkf.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
WHO on the forum, wouldn't want to play in a pig pen ?
hehehehe
Joyce :)
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;D :D LOL Joyful1...thanks for saving my bacon! I did risk sticking my neck out :)
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It's been several years ago that I was on a forum where these stories got started. It was alot of fun, I remember one story that went on for about 3 months, and a great book could have been published on that one. Mostly it ends up being very humorous, but sometimes it gets serious. But I guess it won't work on all forums.
Craig
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The wolf couldn't get the sheep so he decided to go after the hogs...he tried to huff and puff but they really smelled bad and he nearly choked.
Not only that but the wallow was so muddy his paws became loaded with mud. Then to top it off he got hit in the eye by one of the pearls that they were chewhing on, he was so mad at the one with the ring in its snout he could spit, but what could he do .
He called his friend Snake and they chased them all down the hill into the river which led to the water falls and then he took a leisurly walk and waited until they washed up to the sandy shore. He would have a nice fire waiting.
beloved
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Too late now Carol ;D
Craig
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Little Buddy was hanging onto that pig that stuck its neck out and nearly got chopped! His fleecy wooly coat kept king piggy all warm and boyant in the water so that he could yell out to the other pigs to grab a ride with their friends the sheep.
By the time they got down stream they began to look like huge sheep pig wolves and the wolves got such a fright they all jumped into the LOF! ;D :D you know, that one they had prepared for the sheep! ;D
Then as the last wolf dived into the fire an extraordinary thing happened........
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Hey Craig
Tell that to Babylon..they think it's never too late ...for Fractured Scriptures ;D
The moose and the squirrel would be proud of them
beloved
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;D an alien ship came down and abducted the farmers from both farms....this gave buddy an idea!!.....
heheheheheheeh
(http://dl9.glitter-graphics.net/pub/509/509649rk8itk3r9t.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
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;D ;D ;D LOLROTFWT!!!!
oh bother!!! ahahahahha!!!! I just re-read the thread and realized that I hijacked the flow of things...so....LOLROFWT!! ahjahahaha!!! I will now attempt to "save" myself by continuing the story.....
Beloved!! LOLROFWT!!! ahahahahah!!!! you were saying......
the wolves got such a fright they all jumped into the LOF! you know, that one they had prepared for the sheep!
Meanwhile....back at the LOF!!!!......... (ehehehehehehehehe!!!!)
(http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/683/683386ue1nc0wiae.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/683/683386ue1nc0wiae.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)(http://dl6.glitter-graphics.net/pub/683/683386ue1nc0wiae.gif) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
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Ahahahahhaha joyful that made me crack up.
...they all jumped in the LOF and found that the LOF was actually coming from their friend snake who had morphed into an evil dragon simply because he "felt like it". The kindling fire was growing intense and the sheep big wolves looked for and escape but their was none to find when SUDDENLY...
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Only the dumb and blind sheep went down the river along with the hogs.....Benny and all the other sheep with Big EARS got hung up on the thickets bushes and did not go over the falls, they did hear the hogs yelling somthing about "not their time" but then the Good Farmer came along and pulled them out.
He took them into the green pasture, let them take a nap and then led them on a long journey, his rod and staff helped them a lot except when it hurt.
When they got to the next pasture, they had their dirty coats removed, they felt naked but the Good farmer gave them muti colored coats.
Then they all ate a big dinner had a nice time and went back, there they found the sheep, the hogs and wolves, a little crispy but all were alive and now
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and now....the Good Farmer gathered everyone around, they all sat down in the pasture to enjoy some hot tea, and out of the blue, the Good Farmer said, "Who wants to pull My finger?"
Everyone....
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::) oh Patrick!
(http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/756/756788s66vye7kln.jpg) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
Everyone....
knows that sheep and wolves and hogs can't pull anyone's finger! They were having a great time when suddenly, Benny got the idea that.....
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But once again, the sheep and pigs experienced a falling away from truth. They all decided to follow the biggest pig there. It was telling it's version of what god is. It sounded bizare but appealing. What was this pig saying? Wait a minute!! That's not actually a pig. In fact it's Oprah. Except this time Oprah had all of the weight that she had ever gained or lost. How fat was she now? Well, you know that scripture about having the faith to move mountains? She could move mountains just by walking. But most of the damage was done when she opened her mouth. Her made up god was no where near as bad as what those wolves had invented. But this was all lost on the fact that her followers idolized every word coming out of her gargantuan pie hole. They read what she told them to read. They laughed at her jokes when they weren't funny. But mostly, they worshipped her millions$$. This pleased her. So much so that Oprah broke wind after she chuckled. This, of course, destroyed what was left of the ozone layer. Her gas was also so hot that global warming increased 100000 fold. Torrential rains led to another flood and drowned the world. Society would have to start over.
Yeah right, with that smell?!!
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::)
(http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/756/756788s66vye7kln.jpg) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
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Yeah but some one lit a match, boy did that clear the air...one Big Bang and with all the rising water all that was left was Oorah soup, See Benny and his ewe and 6 lambs had secretly built an Ark and that had closed the door before they lit the match to put on little Rodgers cupcake . They had invited a whole bunch of couples over so they were expecting to have a good time now.
Now they all sat there and bobbed up and down. After living awhile with these people everyone was going crazy...so when the Ark finally landed in New jersey they all immediated ran off in all direction just to get away from each other.
Now these are the Stories of the generations of the Love Boat........
beloved
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(http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/599/599217nh5tyxxq3t.png) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
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Then the neighbors of the Farmer, by the names of Benny Hinn, John Hagee and Joel Osteen came along and told the Sheep, if you don't listen to our teachings and give a tenth of all your belongings, including your sheel wool, you will be Eternally Tortured and won't enter Heaven, so the sheep blindly followed these men and spread their teachings to other sheep in the nearby farms and they all fell into the ditch following these men. ;D ;D ;D ;D
I'm sorry everyone, I couldn't resist, Your nut of a Brother, Samson.
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But then a little ruddy sheep named Baaa...Ray came along, he decided to throw rocks at these three giants...he wrote BT on each three stones and put it in his sling shot and and let them rip ..one by one they all fell down.
Then crazy king Ceflo Dollar was angry and round up more of the local giants and decided to chased Baaa...Ray him. He kept singing songs about "How Unscriptural is tithething " and "There is no place like hell" and others and gave these kings major migraine headaches so they decided to .....
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...leave him alone. Meanwhile, as Baa...Ray was repeating "There's No Place Like Hell, there's no place like hell.." and clicking his ruby red slippers together.... ;D
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There broke out a HUGE Chorus in the Heavens and THEN everyone heard the seveth trumpet blast and NOEL NOEL the Angels did say! Actually No Hell No Hell and THEN.....! lol
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Oprah came back from the dead. She said, "maybe there aint no hell, but smell this. . . ... .ffffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt"!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, said the sheep. . . (Excuse me, baaaaaaaaaa). One said "please kill me now". Then Oprah shook her mega ton flab with laughter and said "it's time for you to meet my good friend".
Speaking in an over done southern accent: "The problem with you sheep is your self defeating behavior". Is that you Doctor Phil?, said one of the wolves. Dr. Phil faced
the head wolf and said "the problem is you". "I want you to look in a mirror and say, I am a wicked heritic who deserves the hell that I preach". "By the way, that there is the beast" Then Oprah puffed up to the size of a. . . .
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(http://dl8.glitter-graphics.net/pub/756/756788s66vye7kln.jpg) (http://www.glitter-graphics.com)
can we please leave poor Oprah alone? I really feel sorry for her! Ray can have ruby slippers....but don't make fun of Oprah! I think it is great that she came back from the dead and that Dr. Phil was able to make the line-up as well.....perhaps we could not let her pass gas though....would that be ok? can we do that?
::::::walks off shaking head:::::: "oh bother!"
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of a hot air baloon and floated off into the ozone layer. Now there is a crazy cult of hyenas that worship her.
In the meantime little ruddy baaa..Ray settled down to work for the kingdom. A Few malnorished lambs were fed in this Kingdom. Outside the world was in havoc.
Creflo and his sidekick Bilion dollar Copeland were roaming the earth and came upon more dumb sheep and they fed them slop and they seemed to love it. Because they dressed in nice suits and lived the luxurious life Creflo and his friends became buddies with the local powers. After a while you could not tell the difference between these bad shepards and the hogs.
The fanatical leader Obama Ben Bamda with his band of merry men decided to take revenge and blew up a favorite play ground.
and then like gnats pestered both the bad shepards and the hogs. The kept this up until one day Offarah eclipsed the sun on 2012.
and the aliens landed....they were from Flat Land.
(Some may be aware of this place...It is a land of two dimensions only. Imagine living on a peice of paper. When a object from a 3D dimension enters into all the flat landers see is their foot print. Imagine if the 3D person put their finger into flat land all the flatlanders can see is a circle, they cannot see above or below the plane...the circle seems to appear from out of nowhere. In this land there are three shapes, points curves and straight.
Fortunately then land in Baa.Ray;s study. He tries to communicate with them and they say "You must be God".....You must help us.
We are the roundies and we are having problem with the pointies. They keep bumping into us with their sharp sides trying to deflate us.
Baaa..Ray no you misunderstand I am not God. God has a plan and you are part of it...relax stay away from Offarah the biggest false circle because if she lands on your world, it will be badly bent out shape and never be the same. He encourage them and the went home planet.
In another part of the world....
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::) Beloved! what part of ONE or TWO sentences do you NOT understand? The RULES plainly state that we were to write ONE or TWO sentences!!!!! (*LOLROFWT!!!)
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NO No Joyful1....Don't you see, two plus two equals four five and six! So two at a time or four at a time means witnesses! LOL
So then after the seveth trumpet that no one heard in the pointy square holes in a circle and flat land, a wonderful thing happened to one of the hogs. They did something awful during the time of their circumstances and they recieved a decree from the Spirit that left foot prints and circles all around. Because of their very bad behaviour and for counting their sheckles and all of the sheep, God gave the chief three options. Either face seven years of famine, three months of being on the run from the enemies or three days of pestilence! Guess which one was chosen...... :D
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;D ...I give up! which one? LOLROFWT!!! ;D ;D ;D
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That is a rather crass sense of humor you have there musicman :P
mercy, peace and love
Kat
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Hello Everyone,
The (former) next to last post had to be removed due to it's content, especially since a real person was satired in a very unflattering manner.
This is something we all need to consider when we are posting something for hundreds if not thousands of people to read and judge us by.
Thanks for your understanding and cooperation,
Joe
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They said "none of the above, we want Oprah back". After those words were spoken the Sun stopped giving off its light, and the moon turned as blood. The sheep yelled baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it's over!! Then Dr. Phil laughed and shouted, "Oprah, stop blocken out the light from the sun and get your giant lard behind down here. You've been summoned". Then Ray threw up his hands and said "they despise the word of God". So he wiped his feet of them and walked off.
Oprah chuckled and the earth shook. Well sheep, guess Ray doesn't want to see that burning bush. Dr. Phil replied by saying, "you silly beast, what burnen bush is you talkin about"? Then Oprah pulled out a match and said "look at the forest everyone". Then she pointed her horrendously large backside towards it, lit the match and. . . . . . . .
Nothing burned at all because the trees were magical christmas trees with presents and decorations and paganism all around. Then suddenly the easter bunny and the tooth fairy floated down to the sheep along with jolly ol' .......Nick and said to the sheep, "Lie to your children or you're bad little sheep......for some reasons we just made up." Then they taught everyone including big "O" and Dr. "P" how to make rituals and symbolism out of special days and materialism. Then all through the night you can hear the multitude say, "mine mine mine!", Mine mine mine!" and........."We obey the mighty cupid which makes us buy more stuff to prove we love people once a year" Then, everything exploded in a mass of confusion and public schooling.
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Folks,
If truth seekers are reading this, they will get an unfavorable impression of the forum and of L. Ray Smith; that's not fair.
As adults, let's change the subject.
Indianabob
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What started off being funny ended up not funny at all. I agree with Indianabob. When people start making fun of others it's not funny, it's mean.
Darren