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Here's an unpopular and inappropriate answer.

Mic 6:8  He explained to you,O man, what is good or what the LORD requires from you; but only to execute equity, and to love mercy, and to be prepared to go with your God.

That seems like a good place to start understanding.

This one is maybe a bit less "obvious"...so much so that it really can't be understood with theology.

1Pe 4:17  ...because it is the time of the beginning of the judgment* from the house of God, and if first from us, what the end of those disobedient to the good news of God?
1Pe 4:18  And if the righteous man is scarcely saved, the ungodly and sinner—where shall he appear?

*Judgement G2917
κρίμα
krima
Thayer Definition:
1) a decree, judgments
2) judgment
2a) condemnation of wrong, the decision (whether severe or mild) which one passes on the faults of others
2b) in a forensic sense
2b1) the sentence of a judge
2b2) the punishment with which one is sentenced
2b3) condemnatory sentence, penal judgment, sentence
3) a matter to be judicially decided, a lawsuit, a case in court
Part of Speech: noun neuter
A Related Word by Thayer’s/Strong’s Number: from G2919

A couple more?  To become able to "teach" Proverbs and "preach" Ecclesiastes from our own experience.

You wouldn't have to change too many details to make my story line up with yours.  My church wasn't nearly so "charismatic", but no less carnal.  The rest is pretty much identical.  I thank God for bringing me in.  I thank Him for bringing me out.

All have to go through ‘the lake of fire’ some in this lifetime and others in the resurrection to judgment.  God’s elect are enduring the fires of correction and chastisement now and the rest will experience it later. 

I don't think I was ever aware of my heart being in that hardened state when I was still in the Church. I'm also not sure if I've ever fully identified the process of falling away. I think I just took it for granted that I did at one time leave my first love some twenty plus years ago.

Looking back, I can now see the straw that broke the camel's back. It was just one miserable disappointment after another in God for not healing me of my sins despite my desperate cries. To worsen it, all those in the congregation were acting crazy. Casting out demons, falling to the ground, speaking tongues of gibberish, praying out loud, dancing, singing, laughing, eating and drinking all for show. I took part in some of that craziness, but it felt so disingenuous and none of it was helping, so I left.

There I was one day not long after I left the Church, laying in bed without God, without a foundation, contemplating suicide. I asked God why He created me knowing full well in advance that I would not and could not repent. I asked Him why He would send me to hell for something out of my control especially if He knew I would fail. I told Him how unfair that was and if hell is where I'm meant to be because He wouldn't save me, then hell is where I want to go. I resigned myself to eternal torture, I gave up on God at that moment because in my mind, He failed me. It seemed He didn't care. I was so mad at God, I hated Him and let Him know by cursing Him. I didn't want anything more to do with God.
 
 I don't remember much in the years between that falling away event and finding bible-truths.com, but when I did find it, my hope in God was renewed. It hasn't gotten easier, but at least now I have a foundation, and I know God is good and just, no matter what happens.

I have a question beloved of God. Perhaps unpopular and/or inappropriate.

What is the purpose of the elect in this lifetime/eon or ages passed? Is it only to learn obedience through the things which we do and will suffer anlll as our Lord did?
Is it a narrow pervasive path of judgement and suffering?

Thank you so very much Porter. For "a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver."

Question: Did you always know or feel when your heart was hardened? In retrospect; can you recall the process of falling away or disbelief.
Feel free to move this reply to another board as appropriate please, wouldn't want to be "new" and not follow the rules.

I know this reply is a bit late, but you're right to wonder what it means to hear Matty. Everyone who calls Jesus Lord hears Him, but hardly anyone understands with their heart, due to God having hardened their hearts. I say that with the full understanding that God has had mercy on me after hardening my heart in the same way, but not through anything I did or didn't do. Where God takes it from there, I don't know. So it's with “fear and trembling” I work out my salvation.

I don't think it's necessary to understand or even read all of Ray's papers, as long as you understand that as a person thinks in his or her heart, that's what they are.

My condolences Dynamo54.

Your post is truthfully spoken and honours Our God’s plan for all humanity.

May Our Lord comfort you and your family.

In Christ ,Pamela

So sorry to hear about your father's passing. What a blessing to know God desires not to be alone.

Isa 45:22  Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.

Joh 12:24  Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.

Condolences to you and your family.  Even with everything we know as believers, it is still sad and painful to experience the death of a loved one, but we can take comfort in knowing that this is also a part of God's "master plan" of salvation for all.