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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: newgene87 on June 28, 2012, 01:27:55 AM
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so family, i'm getting Married in 2 days ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
and my desire is to lead and live a healthy happy marriage. So i guess, this is to the married couples; the experienced husbands out there. oh AND my wives out there who know how a husband should be :D :D. Can anyone share some scriptural light on the truth of a having Godly marriage?? any advice and counsel will be accepted ;D ;) thank you!
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Talk to each other,and LISTEN to each other,and don't let the sun go down on your wrath[you may have read that somewhere].That will do for starters!!Just in case your are wondering we have been married 40 yrs. You might want to edit the words [my wives] ,or you future wife may have some questions for you.
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My buddy uses this formula which I pass on to you.
Whenever his wife brings up an issue, he uses one of the following:
"Yes, dear."
"You're right, dear."
"I'm sorry, dear, I was wrong."
Follow his example and your marriage will last forever :P
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oh lol. no no no wcd, it was a slang use of saying: "for my peoples out there...", or "my homeboy over there" crossing over to, "my wives out there..." (having wives doesnt sound like too much of a bad idea tho......hmm.. ::) ;D) but thank you for kind words. i believe i'm learning i have to just "listen to her" :D
and onelove: thanks. i will practice that formula to the best of my ability. i feel confident to use that cause she is at least worthy of it. she is very good to me. thanks
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Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a "relative."
;D
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why did that just scare me :-[ :-\ ???
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why did that just scare me :-[ :-\ ???
Because you've been sleeping with your future wife.
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Marriage isn't always a bed of roses - it takes work especially after the honeymoon.
Fear not! With God all thing are possible.
Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of [sound-minded] counselors they are established.
You're seeking Godly counsel. That's good! I will be praying for you and your future wife.
:)
Love,
Gina
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oh Gina mustnt we all sleep?? :o and then she'll be my relative :-\ wowsers :o
but yes, always seeking Godly counsel. and it could be a bed of roses.. laying on thorns wouldnt be too comfortable i think, till you're slowly bleeding out, become numb to the pain, and then you, get cold, and yea...
i'd rather it be a journey. laying down on a bed doesnt sound too fun for the rest of my life :P
i need counsel; "without counsel do a people fall" (Pro 11:14). and i need that prayer too. thanks :D
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Okay newgene - From a former married man... some words to live by:
A serious quote ~
A successful long lasting marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same woman.
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Now some humor :) (got to have that in all "healthy" marriages... right!) ;D
BEFORE MARRIAGE:
He - Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She - Do you want me to leave?
He - NO! Don't even think about it.
She - Do you love me?
He - Of course! Over and over!
She - Have you ever cheated on me?
He - NO! Why would you even ask?
She - Will you kiss me?
He - Every chance I get!
She - Will you hit me ?
He - Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She - Can I trust you?
He - YES.
She - Darling!
AFTER MARRIAGE:
Read from bottom going up.
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Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question:
Wife - "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
Husband - "Definitely not!"
Wife - "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
Husband - "Of course I do"
Wife - "Then why won't you remarry?"
Husband - "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
Wife - "You would?" (with a hurt look)
Husband - (makes audible groan)
Wife - "Would you live in our house?"
Husband - "Sure, it's a great house."
Wife - "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
Husband - "Where else would we sleep?"
Wife - "Would you let her drive my car?"
Husband - "Probably, it is almost new."
Wife - "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
Husband - "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
Wife - "Would you give her my jewelry?"
Husband - "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
Wife - "Would you take her golfing with you?"
Husband - "Yes, those are always good times."
Wife - "Would she use my clubs?"
Husband - "No, she's left handed."
Wife - ....silence.....
Husband - "S##T."
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Oh, do yourself a favor and disregard un-sound counsel about women and marriage. All marriages are different.
Pray constantly that God gives your wife good judgment when dealing with you. And you do the same -- pray that God gives you good judgment when dealing with her. Do this every time something big creeps up.
Teach her it's okay to laugh at foibles. Don't allow her to abuse you or take you for granted.
Don't worship her! (That spells desperation and women smell desperation like they smell fear -- and we think "weak!" Blech.. Be a gentleman, but be a man (women marry men -- not puppy dogs). Don't let her "dog" you. :) )
The couple that laughs together stays together. If you can learn to laugh at yourselves and let go of the small stuff while being courteous to each other--you've got separate bedrooms and dwelling units. (I kid!) If you can laugh at yourselves you'll be able to ride through a great many storms -- but that takes maturity. You seem pretty mature.
You'll be fine. (Don't listen to JFK. He's bitter. :P)
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Hi newgene,
Congratulations!
Communicate a lot, a woman needs to talk things out.
Be flexible, changing your mind is not bad it means you are learning and you need to conform as you grow.
Nothing should be written in stone.
Honesty is the best policy, deceit will catch up with you... but don't be blunt, use tact.
Do NOT hold grudges or bring up things from the pass, that's water under the bridge.
I think of those difficult situations as a test to see how well I am overcoming carnality. But if you fail don't worry another test will be soon at hand.
I hope you have many joyful yrs together. June 10th was our 35th ;D
mercy, peace and love
Kat
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Communicate a lot, a woman needs to talk things out.
I have to be honest -- I'll try to use tact. Even this bugs me about women. (I learned it from my old boss.) Women talk too much -- talk, talk all the time. And most times they talk to hear themselves because that's how they work things out -- or maybe they think they're really interesting--have to tell you every little detail -- like they like the sound of their voices. Ah!! It drives me up the wall! But not all women are like that. And some of them are so dang cute. Women need to learn to be more like men and hit the facts instead of wasting an entire afternoon talking about this and that and ... then I went to the bathroom and I pulled out my eyelash curler, and then she looked at me and then I was thinking this and on and on and on. (But not like I'm doing now! ;D) If a crime's been committed she should spill it. Otherwise she should put a smile on her face and keep her big mouth shut. :P
Google Chris Rock. He has LOTS of good tips for a healthy marriage. :)
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so family, i'm getting Married in 2 days ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
and my desire is to lead and live a healthy happy marriage. So i guess, this is to the married couples; the experienced husbands out there. oh AND my wives out there who know how a husband should be :D :D. Can anyone share some scriptural light on the truth of a having Godly marriage?? any advice and counsel will be accepted ;D ;) thank you!
Every day you wake and your feet hit the floor meditate for a moment or two as if you no longer had your spouse, then, go about every-day with (her/him) as if God has granted you a do-over.
Sorry, it's not scriptural advice for you.
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doug, love the serious quote and the joke was even better. thank you
and gk - that was amazing. i will not forget that. i will live with that
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Congratulations on your marriage newgene. I have not met that person to be with for the rest of my life, then again I'm not too concerned about if I do or not.
The way I see things is that obviously there will be a need for compromises in some respects but to be honest I don't believe that a man should "conform" to what a woman wants; neither do I believe a woman should "conform" to what a man wants. Would it not be better to simply be with someone who you already see eye to eye on 99.9% of everything about? Would it not be better to be in agreement instead of expecting the man to knuckle under when the wife is unhappy?
I would rather be single for the rest of my life than choose to be in a relationship with someone who manipulates emotionally or controls or whines or is insecure. And it may be that I'll be single forever then but I should like to think that there are ladies out there who do not suffer from issues of codependence or insecurities. Obviously all people have insecurities about some things, no one is perfect but to project that on to someone else isn't fair or right and as I stated, I would be happy be single than to deal with that. Whats the point of marriage which is supposed to be in trust and love if there is no trust or REAL love? ;D
I hope that your marriage is filled with understanding, patience, love, friendship, reason and respect NewGene! God bless!
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( If I were 15 years younger, Foxx.... Son, you don't even wanna know! ;) 8) )
I'm serious.
;D
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newgene87 may the good Lord bless you both when finally Married i tell you that its not all bed of roses there are nooks valley's mountains desert.s to cross not to mention people but i found in our marriage when things got tough then that when i pointed the finger at wife i saw that 3 pointed back at me yep The Good Lord showed me to get my self right and 44 odd years on we are still going strong Praise the Lord Amen
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thank you all for the words. it's official now. yesterday is now the greatest day of my life; but i know it's only the beginning of a long journey. i will live by counsel and direction of the lord and continue to pray for your younger younger brother here; i's need it! love you all...now back to learning some truth 8)
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Congratulations, Eugene! I am confident that your marriage will teach you many valuable lessons. :)
René
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:-* :)
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Congratulations, Eugene! I am confident that your marriage will teach you many valuable lessons. :)
René
HA Ha ha, Understatement of the century, Rene - we are going on 22yrs in Dec - been difficult most of the time, getting rid of history was our challenge - understanding woman are to be treated as weaker does not mean they are weak ....
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thank you Ian! what a great way to see that verse. i will keep that mind that she is NOT weak at all (and she's not ;D) and take the scriptures at heart. i see that word "weak", i see ME all in that. Jesus said, "Watch and Pray that you enter not into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the FLESH IS WEAK" (Matthew 26:41). the word is the same in 1 Peter; so she may be the "weakER vessell" but I AM WEAK AS WELL. and the only way i can dwell with her in any kind of strength; is in the strength Jesus GIVES through His spirit. so i will keep that in mind. she may be weaker but i am weak right along with her. I will keep prayer first and foremost in my life in this marriage and learn as i live; that i am too weak to NOT pray and seek the word of the Lord. Paul tell us to "support the weak(er)" (1Th 5:14). and then gives us a mighty principle --- "...God has CHOSEN the weak things of the world to CONFOUND THE 'mighty'..." (1Cor 1:27). OH I LOVE SCRIPTURE! ;D ;D.
side note; it appears God truly chooses the weak things ('women') of the world to CONFOUND (shame down, disgrace) the MIGHTY (so called men of this age ::) ::)). ;D ;D ;D oh the wisdom of God.
again thank you. oh yea, i chose a wedding band that has the full "lord's" prayer inscribed on it ;D ;D. and i love it. so now i can "literally" WATCH AND PRAY. or maybe i should buy a watch that has the prayer on it.....hmmm..... ::) :P
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side note; it appears God truly chooses the weak things ('women') of the world to CONFOUND (shame down, disgrace) the MIGHTY (so called men of this age ::) ::)). ;D ;D ;D oh the wisdom of God.
WOW! Spoken like a humble man. You're well on your way to a successful marriage, my friend.
You're gonna be fine!
(Now go have some good "lawful" sex!! I'm just a little jealous. >:( )
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Congrats on your upcoming marriage!!! pick your battles, Listen often, and of course the best medicine is unconditional love for your wife, no matter what sins has been committed. depending on the suitation of course..but for most normal problems, some run, some stay, but it is better to fix the problems, big or small, than to run away when it gets too hard and find another.
We need to know we are loved, in spite of the mistakes or choices we make. God does this for us, we should do it for our spouses, our families, our friends, our enemies, and so on... Just be there through good and bad times.
Congrats again!
Denise
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just read your post:
so a belated CONGRATULATIONS!!!
we have been married 39 years....first rule::::: DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION....BIBLE IS THE RULE BOOK
thats been our code .....also be friends and don't sweat the small stuff (and its all small stuff)
and whatever God Wills....
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thank you Janine :D :D :D. and again, to all the others for the kind words and advice. i'm really trying to be a godly Husband and good Man ;D ;D. and sound advice is hard to come by these days
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"Little" Brother Shelton
Congratulations. I am praying that you'll have a wonderful wedding and a blessed marriage. Just hang in there, be patient, bite your tongue and rely on the guidance and wisdom of God's spirit.
On a funnier note, I am not sure if a godly Husband and good Man can be the same individual. Hey don't get scared I'm just trying messing with you ;D
With God all things are possible. If you both care for the well-being of each other and really respect each other, things will be fine. He who finds a good wife indeed finds a great gift from God (my paraphrase)
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"Little" Brother Shelton
Congratulations. I am praying that you'll have a wonderful wedding and a blessed marriage. Just hang in there, be patient, bite your tongue and rely on the guidance and wisdom of God's spirit.
On a funnier note, I am not sure if a godly Husband and good Man can be the same individual. Hey don't get scared I'm just trying messing with you ;D
With God all things are possible. If you both care for the well-being of each other and really respect each other, things will be fine. He who finds a good wife indeed finds a great gift from God (my paraphrase)
;D ;D thank you onelovedread. That was great. 2 weeks of marriage is Great (obviously the honeymoon phase) - but we are Great. I will continue to pray and keep Christ first. I literally watch and pray now cause of my Lord's Prayer Wedding Band ;D. I will LEAD my heart and bite my tongue.
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Hi newgene,
It's not good for a man to be alone, so I think you've made a good choice.
We've all been created different and unique in our own way,
so what worked for me might not work the same for you but here's my two cents worth.
Keep pursuing her.
Tell her often that you love her, like at least once a day.
Make sure she is your best friend.
Spend time together, talking and listening, especially listen.
Bring home some flowers for no special reason.
don't forget her birthday.
Always give more than what you expect to get back.
I guess the big one is your expression of your love for her.
Have fun together, laugh lots, it'. a great medicine.
Celebrating 42 years this year with 4 kids and 5 grand children.
I am blessed.
I wish you all the best.
John.