=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: kweli on December 12, 2007, 11:24:49 AM

Title: Just for laughs
Post by: kweli on December 12, 2007, 11:24:49 AM
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Title: Re: Just for laughs
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on December 12, 2007, 03:44:11 PM

Thanks for that! ;D

No wonder the English language is such a mystery!

Peace be to you

Arcturus :)
Title: Re: Just for laughs
Post by: Beloved on December 12, 2007, 10:25:06 PM
Horray for punsters

poultry in motion  ;D

Title: Re: Just for laughs
Post by: hillsbororiver on December 12, 2007, 11:06:12 PM

Good stuff kweli!

I always enjoy these play on words type humor, tis true our English language can be very entertaining.


Title: Re: Just for laughs
Post by: gmik on December 14, 2007, 11:52:49 PM
Coolio!!!  How clever!!!  Again, I say,  who thinks these up? ??? :D :D

Gotta print it.