Darren,
What an AWESOME and ENCOURAGING post this is. I absoutely loved it.
Music is an awesome thing. I seem to be immersed in the soul of God when I hear soulful music or play in the Spirit. To see God and to hear his love in that way is so great. Mathematics is also a beautiful thing. I am a mathematics major at Texas Tech and will continue when I go back to school. I am puzzled how matematicians can not see God in the very abstract theories that they are coming up. The most beautiful proofs or problems in mathematics are so complex and yet so simplistic. The proof that 1 + 1 = 2 is only 4-6 lines long. I have it in my files and I pull it out everynow to see that behind the simple is such intelligence and design.
I wanted to share this with you all. It is kind of long so please be patient. Several portions not essential the general message is deleted. This can in essence be a summary of things learned and the journey that is going ever on and on.
The Day of Preparation
It is a nice day left over from fall. There is a nice breeze that reminds of nostalgic days of my childhood.
I am nervous but yet so excited. Here lies my "Golden Path".
It seems as if Time is standing still. I seal my destiny tomorrow. I am unafraid. The last few monthes have passed. I am not the same person who welcomed in the New Year. All is quiet within and outside. Time again stands still. The future seems to meld into now along with the past. It seems I can look beyond time which has ceased to exist. There is ONE path. The path that I have sought for all my life. I am growing by stages quieter in my outer and inner lives. I am being conditioned for something.
Tomorrow is the end of the beginning and the beginning of the end. There has been much sacrifice to this point of my journey and there will be so much more. Tonight is the final chapter before Chapter 5 opens up. [ Note: I will post a topic to explain this] The past will never be forgotten and the future will ever remain. And I run with enthusiasim the race set before me. I run toward my Final Destination. I am NOT afraid. I welcome it even though I know at times I will doubt and grow fearful.
"Fear is the mind killer. It is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will allow it to come over me and when it passes, only I will remain."
Quiet and solitude are so comforting now, but I will one day long for the companionship for others of like mind. What will follow from this point on?
The sun sinks in the west and yet the day goes on. The cycles which strive to imprison us by setting up limits which are not really there.
How far it goes. How far it extends. Am I to become a part of it? What is life? It is life within life within life. How amazing and small I am. A speck in the scheme of Everything and yet how large a light that will be revealed.
History is mankinds failures, nothing more or less. History becomes in God's hands a Triumph. The Ages call and seem to converse. Time stands still. I am outside of time and the limits for now, and what a blessedness. This, this, is peace.
"Through Him, With Him, In Him." What things will stand to be accomplished? What will be done? The armor and the walls are down. There are NO restrictions and NO more boundaries.
There is beauty everywhere. There is grace in all places. All is nothing and nothing is all. God's greater blessings in my life are no longer denied.
The shadows grow longer and the wind picks up speed. Yet time stand still. "Music beings as a single note and becomes a magnus opus. So too, I wish my life to be, nothing more or less." How far does that reach? What is this awareness that is growing inside of me? The Guard is changing. Who will take my place on that day when I must pass the torch on to others?
The air grows colder and the Canadian geese are hear which makes one smile at the thoughts of home. Sunset is almost upon us. Here one is so free and contenet. How I wish life would be.
Yet growing static would be death. Death is growing static. Time is beginning to move on. For this time I am truly thankful. Rest must come and be taken.
Je Sus Prest.
Anne C. McGuire
November 22, 2003
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Thanks Darren for posting your post. It was a great "Take time and smell the roses" thing. It slowed me down and made me relish in the awesomness of God. God bless you and yours.
Sincerely,
Anne C. McGuire