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=> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship => Topic started by: Roy Martin on July 08, 2009, 09:04:10 AM
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I don't know why and can't explain it, but I deleted my account this morning, and then giving it some thought; I realized that some would wonder what happened to me, and that it would be rude to not say goodbye. I don't understand this action, but I do know that its not because I don't believe. I'm not sure yet, but I think it has something to do with being too dependent on the forum. I have been feeling as if I have slipped away from that personal relationship with God.As I said," I just don't know what I'm feeling, and why I want to delete my account. Maybe I need some prayer from all of you, but I don't know what to pray for. I do not like this feeling I woke up with this morning. Something is saying, delete my account; something else is saying wait. Does anyone have a clew what is going on?
I say goodbye to all of you now in case I delete my account later in the day.
We will still be together in Spirit. I love all of you. I have learned a lot here. God bless you all.
In Christ and love
Roy
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Roy you are making me cry...You have to do what you think is right..If you go I will miss you here very much..I will always be praying for you, my friend..
Kathy :'(
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Roy: It will make us all very sad if you are to leave. :'( If you are feeling the way you do, maybe some quiet reflection, prayer and silence for a time may be helpful. We will hold you in our hearts and prayers. NB
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Hi Roy,
Well I'm sad too. We never know where our journey may take us. I think I understand what you mean by being dependant on the forum, but I consider it a good dependency.
You don't have to delete your account... maybe you just need a break or limit how much you check in. But whatever you decide I have enjoyed your fellowship and will be praying... all in God's will.
mercy, peace and love
Kat
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Roy, my thoughts are what Kat said. Maybe some time away, not coming to the forum, but still having the opporunity ,because you still have your account.
I'd really miss you!!!
hugs and love,meee
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Roy just a week ago you were so excited about putting a band together with BT members
now you seem very sad, God has helped me alot through reading your post here,it seems you could be making a quick decision please take some time to think things out its always good to take plenty of time when making any kind of decisions.
Mat 13:44 Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.
Mat 13:46 . Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.
I'll be praying that God gives you peace
Terry
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Roy,
I am with Kat and meee. Take a time out and spend it with just you and the Lord, reading his word and ask him for guidence on this. You are his child and he will show you what you should do.
Blessings,
Suzie
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I agree with the others here. No need to delete. Just step away and spend more one on one time with the Lord. Take a break!
We'd miss you.
Blessings, Lin
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Roy,
I would surely hate to see you leave,your honesty is refreshing. These things that we call feelings can sometimes get in the way of what matters most in ones life.Roy,I can also relate to what you speak of,there have been times in the last months where I have felt the need to move on from this forum thing in my life.What could be the reason? Well I know what the reason is. Satan. Don't laugh.He knows what your weakness is, and rest assured, he will work on that weakness in order to put doubt into your mind.
I have learned that when something is not going all that well in my life,for whatever reason,the forces of darkness are trying to knock me down and keep me down..Hey,God created the dragon for a reason, No? Well yes,yes He did.To deceive one into avoiding the Truths of the Spirit.The reason that I wanted to tell you this is that you mentioned your thought of dependency,of the forum( not good ) in the thread.You have stated in the past about your abuse of drugs and such. Satan has a way of capitalizing on ones weakness(dependency to a forum...not good),and that weakness will always be used against you,to put doubt into your mind. We cant blame the messenger [Truth] for giving us the Word,but we can blame the deceiver for trying to take away what we already believe.
I would agree with the others here,take a break from the forums and put your priorities in line with what the Lord wants of you .Keep the Faith, and remember, that we will all be here for you. Brothers and Sisters of Truth and Spirit will always be one.
Peace...Mark
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Hey Roy, praying for you, always have been, no matter what. You really help me see some things, and it is very much appreciated.
Peace,Love
G.Driggs
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Hi Roy,
I can't improve on the advice you have already been given but I can say I have been where you are before, more than once! ;)
There have been times when I too wanted to leave because of the way certain things were working in my life and also for reasons I did not understand nor could I fully explain. Maybe taking a break from responding to others questions and concerns and taking some One on one time with our Lord to work out your own salvation will sort things out and give you a sense of refreshment in your spirit.
Whatever path you decide to persue be assured you will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Peace to you Brother,
Joe
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Hello Roy,
I am saddened to read your post about leaving the forum. You don't know me from a hole in the head,
but I want you to know that I have always looked foreward to reading your posts.
Looking back on my life, I don't understand why I made certain choices that I made at the time,
but they certainly have led me here.
Whatever you decide, good luck to you and your family.
Via con Dios Amigo,
Bluzman
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Like Joe, I've often found myself pulled to the side from time to time. I can't always explain why either. I'd simply encourage you to not turn temporary decisions into permanant religion. What He's leading you to do today is not necessarily what He will be leading you to do tomorrow. I hope that makes sense and is of some help to you.
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Hi Roy,
I've been so blessed by your posts, I just want to 'thank you', whatever you decide. Obviously I'm praying that you stay, even if you take a break.
Geoff
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Roy, I can understand like Joe, and Dave and others I have experienced those feelings .
I have been able to relate to you a lot. I have told you before that my one on one relationship with God has always been my anchor to him.
But, I also know that we need people of like mind. I need these people because they often can help me understand scriptures. I also, know I can count on them to pray for me for spiritual or other needs.
I think you should by all means spend some time with the Lord one on one, and read some scripture on your own. But, you dont have to drop your account to do that. I don't feel that I have much to offer others on here. My experiences in life have always spoke loud to me ,but were I never really understood all those experiences until God led me to truths here . Yes, he used the foolisness of Ray's teaching. But, now I understand all them experiences. Because I am understanding scripture before that I read and did not understand. Now, I know God does not hate me. The night , I came in I had wanted to die with thoughts of my mistakes. We have been set free from false teachings.
I come in to read post because sometimes someone post about something that has been on my mind or something I really did not think about. Also, God has always given me to have compassion on the hurting. I take that serious.
All, I can say is I sure will miss you cause sometimes just the simple post are very helpful. But, I want what is best for you.
Others, have given the good advice. Mark, left much food for thought. But, just remember you can always come back .
In His Love,
Marlene
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May God grant you in insight on what is right for you. May He give you strength to endure whatever it is that troubles you. My He give you courage to boldly take your next step. May He give you comfort and understanding. May He allow your will to line up with His will. In the name of Jesus may the Father have have His will and His way in Roy's life, Amen
If you go we will miss you. If you take a break we will miss you. If you stay on we won't miss you(had to throw in some humor) ;D
Peace and Grace to you,
Roy
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I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to all of you wonderful people, but my modem was down, and then suddenly it started working again.
One thing for sure is that I wasn't looking for sympathy, but it looks like I got it anyway. Not only that, but I am overwhelmed with your understanding in having gone through this yourself. I agree with all of you that I need to take a break.
Since I came here and read all of LOF and got on this forum I haven't spent one day of giving it a rest. It literally has consumed me, but in a good way. Day and night, all day long, everyday I think about all of this truth; rolling it around in my head, and then seeing the applications in every ones questions, post and replies on the forum. I just couldn't get enough of it. I know this isn't a good example, but I'll give it anyway; it's like those days of smokin pot and getting the munchies, eating everything in the kitchen, and then going to the store to get more; ho hos, Twinkies and candy bars and ice cream. Everything tasted good.
Well, you get my point I know.
This morning I started my day like any other day, but something was wrong and not usual. I was very sad and distressed, something I can't explain. Its not like me to be that way. As soon as the forum page came up, I clicked on account settings and moved my cursor to delete with this overwhelming sadness in me, and deleted my account. This happened w/o giving thought to it. So strange. I went outside in the dark and prayed, came back in and reactivated the account to give notice and say goodbye, and deleted again. My emotions still aren't right, but one thing for sure is that I will not delete anymore, but I will take some time to gather my thoughts and feelings as all have suggested.
By the way; when I read all of your replies, I became very emotional and touched; to put it mildly.
I will be back.
Peace and love my dear friends
Roy
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Hi Roy,
I know where you're coming from, been there myself and I can only offer you this,
- "Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her" (Lu 10:38-42)
Take some time out from your distractions and spend the time with the Lord alone,
- "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Mt 11:28-30)
The Lord will then equip & strengthen you,
- "But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren" (Lu 22:32)
Be at peace brother, the Lord is always near.
Grace and peace to you and yours
Nelson
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Nelson,
You are putting out some beautiful posts. Filling me with joy and inspiration. Praise God
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I don't know why and can't explain it, but I deleted my account this morning, and then giving it some thought; I realized that some would wonder what happened to me, and that it would be rude to not say goodbye. I don't understand this action, but I do know that its not because I don't believe. I'm not sure yet, but I think it has something to do with being too dependent on the forum. I have been feeling as if I have slipped away from that personal relationship with God.As I said," I just don't know what I'm feeling, and why I want to delete my account. Maybe I need some prayer from all of you, but I don't know what to pray for. I do not like this feeling I woke up with this morning. Something is saying, delete my account; something else is saying wait. Does anyone have a clew what is going on?
I say goodbye to all of you now in case I delete my account later in the day.
We will still be together in Spirit. I love all of you. I have learned a lot here. God bless you all.
In Christ and love
Roy
Roy my friend, God will Just Drag You Back, He Loves YOU THAT MUCH!
kenny
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I can't add anything to what has already been beautifully expressed! God Bless You my friend and brother. I always like to keep options open....don't delete cuz then your name shows up in black..its so final looking.....just take a break and then come back if lead to.. love ya, gena
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Hi Roy.
You probably don't know me but,
The scripture verse that came to me when I read your post is Matthew6:22.
If your eye is single then your whole body is full of light.
Focus your eye on The Lord, the anointing that you received from him abides in you.
As good as this forum is,we sometimes need to get away and focus on the Lord, that's where we get our strength.
Be blessed my brother.
John.
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Roy, have been busy and haven't had time to log on here for quite a while. It did me good. I am a bit hungry now instead of being somewhat obsessed and saturated. Take a break. Love, judy
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Awesome people, all of you. Thank you for the prayers and encouragement.
My trials are nothing compared to others. I can't complain and won't.
I feel as if some very painful things are about to crumble down on me that is leading me into my past that I thought I would never see again or ever return to. I feel completely helpless to what is going on. These things blew in like a quiet storm and is trying to carry me away, but I know that God controls the clouds and the devastation that are within the storm. I am crying out to Him. Things are beyond my control and understanding of how to deal with the circumstances I am facing.
I know the power of prayer. Not that we will change Gods mind, but I know that prayer is good. Keep my wife Silvia and me in your prayers. I know that you don't know what is going on but its not something I'm comfortable to share with the public. I think I can say this; My wife and two sisters were molested by their father starting at ages too young for them to remember, into their teen years. The stories she has shared with me; I can't bear to hear.
Thats all I can say for now.
If there is anyone out there that has gone through this; please PM or e-mail me.
Roy
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Roy,hope this helps. :)
Psalm 91 (King James Version)
1He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
7A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
8Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
9Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
10There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
11For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
12They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
13Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
14Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
15He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
16With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
Peace...Mark
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Dear Roy, it's good to see you at the forum!
Keeping you both in prayer.
much love for you both,meee
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roy,
i lift you even now, that the Lord our Strength will hold you up and continue to build your faith in Him. i pray for your wife, and sisters, that they will be comforted and consoled knowing that our Father loves them and that we will be praying for them. there have been some awesome Scriptural references given on this thread, and some heart felt advice. always remember this forum is family. we will always have an ear available to hear, and eyes ready to see, as our Father gives us knowledge.
love in Christ,
claudia
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Roy,
You have friends and family here. You are not alone..be strong my dear brother. God will make a way....
Kathy :'( :-*
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Roy, I will keep you and your wife and her sisters in my prayers. Oh, the trials we go through in this life. Someday we will understand them all. I know, that this would be a horrible thing to go through . But, not to be able to trust your own Father would be so hard. I can tell you we have experienced rape in our family, but not by a family member. It is hard to let go of the pain. I hate everytime I hear about molestation.
In His Love,
Marlene
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I think I should let everyone know that it wasn't just BT forum that I was about to turn away from. The issues going on in my life had me on the edge of just giving up on everything, and going back to my old life.
Now I know that it was God bringing us to our knees to give it all to Him.
Silvia and I both have been trying to do things our way, seeing only our way and opinions independent of each others. We were both self centered and blind to each others feelings. It was all carnal full of pain.
Two people that loved each other, brought together by God, hurting each other to no end.
Finally We gave it to God with all sincerity, and it was as if a calm gentle breeze blew upon us and carried it away opening our eyes, and gave us peace and love for each other as if it were new.
We both know that it was God that put us through this. Just when we thought it was over, and that we couldn't take anymore, God showed us His love and passed it on to us and through us. God has taken our marriage to a new wonderful level. We both are at peace and full of joy with each other, but most of all and most important is that it brought us closer to God.
I'm sorry if I caused a stir about deleting my account. I have enjoyed every moment of being here. It was temptation I was fighting, yet it was God working. We love Him deeply; more today than yesterday.
Silvia has been reading all of Rays material for seven months now. I haven't been able to get her to even look at the forum yet. She is very intelligent and sharp and witty with a beautiful sense of humor. She is smarter than I am, but I don't dare tell her that. I think she is about ready to open up to the forum. I keep telling her that she is in for a treat and blessing.
Well Ive said enough for now and will end by saying thank you for your understanding, your prayers and fellowship giving all the glory and praise to our heavenly father.
Peace
Roy
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Roy Martin,
What you are expressing is similar to what i have gone through several times; Daily. I thank GOD For The Scriptures quoted below:
Joh 5:19 (MKJV)
Then Jesus answered and said to them, Truly, truly, I say to you, The Son can do nothing of Himself but what He sees the Father do. For whatever things He does, these also the Son does likewise.
Joh 5:30 (MKJV)
I can do nothing of My own self. As I hear, I judge, and My judgment is just, because I do not seek My own will, but the will of the Father who has sent Me.
Joh 15:5 (MKJV)
I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
Without that little bit of Spiritual sight and hearing GOD Has Graciously Given to me; i am lost already.
george. :)
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Silvia has been reading all of Rays material for seven months now. I haven't been able to get her to even look at the forum yet. She is very intelligent and sharp and witty with a beautiful sense of humor. She is smarter than I am, but I don't dare tell her that.
Peace
Roy
Oh God is sooooo good!
Praising Him for this work in your and Silvia's life.
luvya,meee
PS:Cute!!
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Praise God Roy M, your in my continued prayers brother. Peace
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So very glad things are working out for you and your wife. I was very concerned and prayed for you. Love, Judy