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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Craig on January 10, 2011, 07:28:33 PM

Title: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Craig on January 10, 2011, 07:28:33 PM

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.

On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load our pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: aqrinc on January 10, 2011, 07:55:26 PM

Wow craig, you must have been a contortionist too ???. Purina diet, LOL.

george ;D :o.

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Akira329 on January 10, 2011, 09:42:02 PM

That is the funniest story I have ever heard!!!
Thanks for that laugh Craig!!
Antaiwan

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: iris on January 10, 2011, 09:55:03 PM

(http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/2.gif) (http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/2.gif)(http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/2.gif)(http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/2.gif)(http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/2.gif)(http://bestsmileys.com/clapping/2.gif)


Iris

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Kat on January 10, 2011, 10:51:26 PM

Good one Craig  ;D

Kat

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Stacey on January 11, 2011, 03:35:02 AM

Sounds like something Bill Engvall would say then add at the end, "here's your sign"

Too funny  :)

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Vangie on January 11, 2011, 07:54:45 AM

 ;D :D ;D

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Astrapho on January 11, 2011, 09:35:16 AM

 :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on January 11, 2011, 09:41:18 AM

Ha! THAT'S what happens when you've got time to kill! ;D

LOL ...Give my love to Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus! :D... LOL

Thanks Criag!

Debx

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: hillsbororiver on January 11, 2011, 05:54:30 PM

LOL!

That's amazing Craig, I had virtually the same experience with 2 very large bags of kitty litter...

You should have seen everyone running for the exits when I began to claw open the bags with a determined look and a real expression of purpose on my face.

Peace,

Joe

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: moxicarose on January 11, 2011, 07:23:20 PM

That's a really funny one! That story was forwarded to me in an email a couple years ago...it was identical, except for the reason for hospitalization was that the person got beat up for sniffing an irish setters butt...:D

Title: Re: Ask a Stupid Question
Post by: grapehound on January 11, 2011, 10:10:12 PM

Yeah, my uncle got killed chasing after motorcycles.