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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: Revilonivek on April 28, 2011, 05:52:09 PM

Title: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: Revilonivek on April 28, 2011, 05:52:09 PM

imagine 7 months suffering with  hemorrhoids?? That's before Prep H was invented

Finally figured out the meaning of emerods. They are hemorrhoids. Emerods are kjv 1611's version for hemorrhoids without the h.

According to 1st Samuel chapter 5 and 6, keep in mind that The Philistines were struck with hemorrhoids  by God for 7 months because they wouldn't return the ark of the covenant back to the Israelites. Anyway, the Philistines figured the only way to get rid of their itchy problem (hemorrhoids)was to give the Ark of the Covenant back to the Israelites, and make some golden images of hemorrhoids and mice also to soothe God's anger.  I feel bad for those poor souls.. imagine having hemorrhoids for 7 long months.. makes me wanna itch.


5:9  And it was so, that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.

5:12  And the men that died not were smitten with the emerods: and the cry of the city went up to heaven.

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: Craig on April 28, 2011, 06:25:49 PM

Who says God does not have a sense of humor?

Craig

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: Gabriel on April 28, 2011, 07:47:34 PM

I was just reading about this the other day, and couldn't stop laughing, Bad me.   ;D

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: Cypress on April 28, 2011, 11:12:12 PM

Quote from: Craig on April 28, 2011, 06:25:49 PM

Who says God does not have a sense of humor?

Craig

This is so something I would have done if I were God lol!

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: Duane on April 29, 2011, 04:30:01 AM

I was looking for Longhorn to come up with:   "in the KJV 1611 they were called "emarods"; in the
NKJV they are called "asteroids"!

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: lilitalienboi16 on April 29, 2011, 04:45:33 AM

I lol'ed  ;D

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: Samson on April 29, 2011, 10:52:39 AM

Quote from: Gabriel on April 28, 2011, 07:47:34 PM

I was just reading about this the other day, and couldn't stop laughing, Bad me.   ;D

Believe Me Dude, I've had problems in that area, not for 7 Months, but I highly doubt that I would have lasted that long before returning the Ark Of The Covenant. Knowing what I know about Hemorrhoids, All God would need to do is warn Me once about getting them.  :-[,  :'(,  ;).

Title: Re: Hemmorrhoids in the bible- not kidding
Post by: dre91 on April 29, 2011, 12:32:52 PM

I agree, that's funny.God does have a sense of humor.