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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: deftarchangel on June 03, 2011, 06:06:50 PM
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A Newfoundland senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.
"Amazing," he thought as he flew down the Transcanada highway, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw an RCMP Officer, blue and red lights flashing and sirens blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the officers' arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the officer got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused, then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with an RCMP officer, and I thought you were bringing her back!"
"Have a good day, Sir," replied the officer.
:)
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Male humor and camaraderie...very sweet! lol ~ :)
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After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell?" says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 160 mph. (Remember, the Pope is German.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. "Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 150 mph.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "A senator?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "The President?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "His chauffeur is the Pope!"
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;D ~ Good one...as an ex-Catholic ~ I can relate! ~ :D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D They were both gut busters......
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;D ;D ;D ;D good one eh????
;D ;D ;D ;D ciao bella!!!
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Male humor and camaraderie...very sweet! lol ~ :)
;D
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;D ~ Good one...as an ex-Catholic ~ I can relate! ~ :D
Yavool! ;D
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~ ;D ~ :)