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=> Testimonies / Prayer Requests / Fellowship => Topic started by: daywalker on July 10, 2011, 05:34:31 AM
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30 minutes ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. This was completely from left field to me because we get along great and we hardly ever argue (our last argument was over 2 months ago, and it was mild). She says it's her, she says she's changed and we're so different now, different dreams, different plans for the future...something like that... Anyway, never thought I'd be "divorced" before turning 28 years old. I'm in shock, practically paralyzed... I'm not okay...please pray for me! I'm very angry at God right now...I don't wanna be...but, I am.
Daywalker :'(
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That's nasty...real nasty...I am not saying your wife is nasty...the circumstances are nasty...real nasty...I feel for you...I feel for you both!
So sorry for the hurt and pain, grief and turmoil this event unleashes...so sorry...
May the agony be over soon for you both and lead you to quiet calm, peaceful healing and solitary wisdom in the Plan God appoints for you.
Arc
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Amen Arc and John.
Christopher, so sorry to hear your awful news.
I've been there a couple of times myself and do empathise with what you're going through.
In my prayers.
Grape x
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30 minutes ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. This was completely from left field to me because we get along great and we hardly ever argue (our last argument was over 2 months ago, and it was mild). She says it's her, she says she's changed and we're so different now, different dreams, different plans for the future...something like that... Anyway, never thought I'd be "divorced" before turning 28 years old. I'm in shock, practically paralyzed... I'm not okay...please pray for me! I'm very angry at God right now...I don't wanna be...but, I am.
Daywalker :'(
I am sorry to hear about your situation Daywalker...
God has plans for us that we really don't know about.
Pray and ask God for guidance and enlightenment.
God can turn any bad situation, into a good one.
Whenever I hear someone talk about having bad relationships..
I always remember this quote....
"A man's enemies will be the members of his own household;
Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me;
Anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me;
And anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me;
-Matthew 10:36-38
All I can say is, if God is MORE IMPORTANT in your life, you will follow HIM
on WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU.
Why do we need to follow HIM? Simply because HE is GOD, who sees all things
knows all things.. HE ALREADY KNOWS WHATS BEST FOR US, WE JUST HAVE
TO TRUST HIM HE WILL GIVE THE "REWARD" THAT HE PROMISED TO US.
Thats what we hold on to for.
"God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?"
-Numbers 23:19
We suffer all the persecutions of this world because we know and believe that we will
have "something better" in the future.
If there is nothing to hope for in the future, then we dont need to sacrifice.
But no, if you really believe in GOD, you know that HE has a reward for HIS loyal sons
who sacrifice day and night for HIM.
Always think about the end result 'the reward' from GOD, and you will always feel
"STRONG" and "FILLED WITH HOPE"
And my brother, always remember this COMMANDMENT FROM GOD, YOU SHOULD FOLLOW
THIS UNTIL THE END OF YOUR DAYS. THIS IS A COMMANDMENT.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."
-Philippians 4:6
God be with you brother
-remo
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The trials and tests of life are never easy or expected when they occur. This didn't take God by surprise as he knew it was coming all along. There is a reason and a plan behind this trial even though right now you are consumed with the emotions of anger and grief. When you get on the other side of this you will be able to look behind you and see God guiding you each step of the way. His ways are not our ways and even though right now you can't see any possible way that any good will come out of this yet good will come out of this. Your just going to have to trust him that he knows whats best in this situation. Prayers for you both during this time and that God would give you peace of mind and wisdom beyond your years.
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So sorry to hear that Christopher, my heart breaks for you. Will be praying for you both.
G.Driggs
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Dear Daywalker:
I am praying for you!
Dean
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wow dude thats terrible. I'm so sorry to hear that. I will definitely be praying for you man! If you're angry with God, don't beat yourself up about it, we never wanna be angry with Him but we're human and He knows it. He knows you're upset, so get mad at Him, get real with Him. He wants to hear it! He wants you to come to Him, even if its in anger frustration and sadness. I know its what I do, He's real to me, so no reason to hide how I really feel when I really am upset with Him. He already knows it anyway, so be real with Him!
Praying bro, please stay strong!
God bless,
Alex
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Day,
I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound hollow or fall terribly short.
*big, big, warm hug*
This too shall pass, and "God will work it to the good." I know it's hard to see that right now, but it is the Truth.
I know how it feels to have your heart ripped out of your chest while you're still feeling, awake, and looking right at the person. The best scenario I can use to describe it is this: imagine your beloved ripping your heart out while you're embraced, throwing it on the ground, spitting on it, defecating on it, and ripping it into a million pieces (while you feel every act) while laughing maniacally. Then, the person walks off, gleefully, leaving you alone to tenderly and brokenly kneel down, eyes stinging from tears, and try to pick up the pieces that have been shattered into the size of a grain of sand. You feel so lost, and you can't breathe. That is just touching the very tip of the iceberg.
My heart aches with you, brother. You are in my prayers.
In His Love,
John
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may God grant you healing, peace, grace, strength and understanding Amen
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dear christopher, my heart aches with you, in tandem. :'(
5 yrs ago, on christmas eve morning, i opened the door into our computer room and found my husband web camming, frontal nudity and all, with a woman in another country. out of left field for sure!
as soon as i read your tragic post this evening, i felt the very same sickening kick, square in the solar plexus, just like i did 5 yrs ago.
i am so sorry that you find yourself in a place now you never even considered you would ever have to arrive at. surreal at times, especially at first. :'(
approximately 3 wks. ago i found out my husband (9mths dating/19yrs married, tomorrow actually) :( , was having another online relationship, which then crossed into fantasy tales being written and passed between the two of them, which included multiple sex scenes. this time it was with a woman i have considered my friend for the past 4 yrs. this time, the options have been exhausted. this time, it IS time, for me to proceed with separating myself from this marriage.
the overwhelming, unbearable, deep ache in your heart is an actual pain, felt physically. a bazillion questions and hypotheticals bombard your mind, weaving into your soul. your very faith and trust that Father Creator loves us so much, that He draws us into His bosom of security and rest; as visualized in great hugs of affection, is put to the test, front and center. circumstances cause so many questions.
i am now sitting here, trying to find words to soothe your heartache, and the sense that you have lost all direction. spun around like a top and left to land where you end up.
i am finding that sometimes, there are no words to say.
sometimes, the deafening silence can render us mute.
seemingly frozen, unable to move in any direction.
but, christopher, the deep, deep silences are needed.
just as the voices are, of our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum.
everyday for the past 3 wks. i wanted to post a request for prayer on my behalf, and for my husband. to bare my pain. to cry out that i was broken. but, i was frozen. stuck.
now i get an inkling of why it was not time for me yet to 'go public'.
it's always about timing.
God's perfect, precise timing.
the time for your wife to expose her heart to you had not yet happened.
now, as brother and sister in His Truth, Love, heartbreak and pain, we can help carry each others' cross for a little while. :)
please forgive me dear daywalker, and forum family, for going on so long...
i will keep you in my prayers. continually.
His peace will come. He gives us just enough light for our feet, so we don't trip up looking too far ahead.
Jesus Christ is our True Beloved.
claudia
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Dearest Claudia and daywalker, there is nothing worse than loving someone wholeheartedly and being betrayed or have them change the entire picture of your life to the point you wonder what dream world you were living in and not noticing the little and subtle messages. For ten yrs. I either denied or ignored the messages, I just knew something was wrong.
My heart aches for the both of you. Just today a friend called and said her daughter's husband wanted out of the marriage for more freedom. Actually freedom had a picture, a beautiful blond woman across the street!!!!
Nothing hurts worse than a marriage turning badly.
It took many yrs. for me to get over it when i found my husband with my best friend but i did. One thing NEVER do!!!!!! Do not go over and over what YOU could have done better, it is their own decision thorougly distanced from anything concerning you!!!
The lie that was my life was over, it was a pretty lie with all the trimmings and children and security but it was not real, just my fantansy. I realized I didn't even know this man but I did find myself, my true self again and I am freer than he could ever dream of being. My eventual good and his eventual bad.
I grew, God was there and I am happy now. Someday you will be too!!!
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. love, judy
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Hi Christopher
I just wanted to let you know that my heart has been bleeding for you from yesterday when I first saw your post.. I can only imagine the state of your heart right now. Please just hang in there... all will make sense in God's perfect timing.
I am with you in prayer.
Matty
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30 minutes ago, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. This was completely from left field to me because we get along great and we hardly ever argue (our last argument was over 2 months ago, and it was mild). She says it's her, she says she's changed and we're so different now, different dreams, different plans for the future...something like that... Anyway, never thought I'd be "divorced" before turning 28 years old. I'm in shock, practically paralyzed... I'm not okay...please pray for me! I'm very angry at God right now...I don't wanna be...but, I am.
Daywalker :'(
Christopher,
I'm Truly sorry about Your recent Trial. Yes, when confronted with sorrow that's completely surprising and totally unexpected, it's the worst kind. True, on an intellectual & Spiritual level, All of us at Bible Truths know that All is of God and it's part of God's plan for us to experience Evil in order to Humble us and it's a gradual process, but once again People make choices, because they DESIRE to do so and regardless of their motive, these choices can and often do hurt others. Your above sharing of the reality of getting Divorced based on the content of your Post is a surprising shock to Me and constitutes an emotional dagger. If there's anything within My circumstances that might be of benefit in Your behalf, please let Me know, your participation at this Forum is much appreciated by Me.
Also, I wrote you a PERSONAL MESSAGE, When you find the time, feel free to read and respond at your earliest convenience. My prayers go out in Your behalf the God Will have mercy on you using His divine influence to heal you and see you through this experience of Evil.
Your Brother in Christ, Samson.
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dear christopher, my heart aches with you, in tandem. :'(
5 yrs ago, on christmas eve morning, i opened the door into our computer room and found my husband web camming, frontal nudity and all, with a woman in another country. out of left field for sure!
as soon as i read your tragic post this evening, i felt the very same sickening kick, square in the solar plexus, just like i did 5 yrs ago.
i am so sorry that you find yourself in a place now you never even considered you would ever have to arrive at. surreal at times, especially at first. :'(
approximately 3 wks. ago i found out my husband (9mths dating/19yrs married, tomorrow actually) :( , was having another online relationship, which then crossed into fantasy tales being written and passed between the two of them, which included multiple sex scenes. this time it was with a woman i have considered my friend for the past 4 yrs. this time, the options have been exhausted. this time, it IS time, for me to proceed with separating myself from this marriage.
the overwhelming, unbearable, deep ache in your heart is an actual pain, felt physically. a bazillion questions and hypotheticals bombard your mind, weaving into your soul. your very faith and trust that Father Creator loves us so much, that He draws us into His bosom of security and rest; as visualized in great hugs of affection, is put to the test, front and center. circumstances cause so many questions.
i am now sitting here, trying to find words to soothe your heartache, and the sense that you have lost all direction. spun around like a top and left to land where you end up.
i am finding that sometimes, there are no words to say.
sometimes, the deafening silence can render us mute.
seemingly frozen, unable to move in any direction.
but, christopher, the deep, deep silences are needed.
just as the voices are, of our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum.
everyday for the past 3 wks. i wanted to post a request for prayer on my behalf, and for my husband. to bare my pain. to cry out that i was broken. but, i was frozen. stuck.
now i get an inkling of why it was not time for me yet to 'go public'.
it's always about timing.
God's perfect, precise timing.
the time for your wife to expose her heart to you had not yet happened.
now, as brother and sister in His Truth, Love, heartbreak and pain, we can help carry each others' cross for a little while. :)
please forgive me dear daywalker, and forum family, for going on so long...
i will keep you in my prayers. continually.
His peace will come. He gives us just enough light for our feet, so we don't trip up looking too far ahead.
Jesus Christ is our True Beloved.
claudia
Claudia,
Indeed, as with Christopher, I'm truly sorry for Your ordeal too, it seems that many of Us at Bible Truths share experiences in this Emotional relationship pain. I read John From Kentucky's Post and that adds to the mix, He was in His late Twenties too and had it all taken away from Him(Wife & Children). I don't wish any of this on anyone. I sent you a PERSONAL MESSAGE too, only hoping to help. I'm truly sorry you are suffering. When experiencing these emotional trials, AT THAT TIME, it doesn't seem fair, only later on, Do We get the answer as to WHY.
With Agapeo, Samson.
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Christopher and Claudia,
I was so sorry to read of the trials you both are going through.
I pray that your pain will bring you closer, rather than further, from God.
I realize this is probably a difficult concept right now.
The pain of loss of a loved one is so heart wrenching.
You are both in my prayers.
Love, Lin
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Dear Daywalker, and all,
I just know that God will see you through in this, even though it feels devastating now. I will pray for both you and your wife, and all others on the Forum who have passed through similar experiences.
God bless you all,
Eirik
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I’m so sorry for your current circumstances Daywalker, I add my prayers to the above brothers and sisters in empathising/sympathising and supporting you in this current heartbreak and pain.
Claudia, Judy, Johnmichael and the testimonies of others who went through this heartbreak or similar experiences (as I also have), it is devastating to know that someone so close and loved has betrayed that trust you had in them. When we take our vows, we are convinced in that moment it will be for better or for worse (and that the worse can be worked through), but often times it is not. :(
The truths that we have come to know has made and will make us stronger and give us peace, but the daily struggles and trials of our lives we have to live through, as this is God’s will.
God Bless us all! :D
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dear christopher, my heart aches with you, in tandem. :'(
5 yrs ago, on christmas eve morning, i opened the door into our computer room and found my husband web camming, frontal nudity and all, with a woman in another country. out of left field for sure!
as soon as i read your tragic post this evening, i felt the very same sickening kick, square in the solar plexus, just like i did 5 yrs ago.
i am so sorry that you find yourself in a place now you never even considered you would ever have to arrive at. surreal at times, especially at first. :'(
approximately 3 wks. ago i found out my husband (9mths dating/19yrs married, tomorrow actually) :( , was having another online relationship, which then crossed into fantasy tales being written and passed between the two of them, which included multiple sex scenes. this time it was with a woman i have considered my friend for the past 4 yrs. this time, the options have been exhausted. this time, it IS time, for me to proceed with separating myself from this marriage.
the overwhelming, unbearable, deep ache in your heart is an actual pain, felt physically. a bazillion questions and hypotheticals bombard your mind, weaving into your soul. your very faith and trust that Father Creator loves us so much, that He draws us into His bosom of security and rest; as visualized in great hugs of affection, is put to the test, front and center. circumstances cause so many questions.
i am now sitting here, trying to find words to soothe your heartache, and the sense that you have lost all direction. spun around like a top and left to land where you end up.
i am finding that sometimes, there are no words to say.
sometimes, the deafening silence can render us mute.
seemingly frozen, unable to move in any direction.
but, christopher, the deep, deep silences are needed.
just as the voices are, of our beloved brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum.
everyday for the past 3 wks. i wanted to post a request for prayer on my behalf, and for my husband. to bare my pain. to cry out that i was broken. but, i was frozen. stuck.
now i get an inkling of why it was not time for me yet to 'go public'.
it's always about timing.
God's perfect, precise timing.
the time for your wife to expose her heart to you had not yet happened.
now, as brother and sister in His Truth, Love, heartbreak and pain, we can help carry each others' cross for a little while. :)
please forgive me dear daywalker, and forum family, for going on so long...
i will keep you in my prayers. continually.
His peace will come. He gives us just enough light for our feet, so we don't trip up looking too far ahead.
Jesus Christ is our True Beloved.
claudia
O my gosh, Claudia! I'm so sorry. I'll keep you in my prayers as well.
Christopher
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Hey,
I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your overwhelming support. Each post was inspiring and well-received. These last few days have been the very worst of my life. I know that God works all out for good, but right now it's hard to see that through these tearful eyes. Now, that this has happened, I can look back and see some of the warning signs, but unfortunately at the time, they were too subtle. I soo wish that we could atleast try to work it out, but she's convinced it's over. She says she loves me and I'm her best friend, but she's no longer "in love" with me. Not the kind of words you wanna hear from your significant other.
Thanks again everyone for your love and support.
Christopher
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I waited ,Christopher ,until I was sure your wife did not have a bad day and hurt you in the course of it. But it seems she has made up her mind.
So very sorry, and sorry to all those who shared so much pain they have endured. I dont know you but my heart aches, and thats not over emotionalism. Thats empathy. I spoke long to my husband who is away on contract after I read your posts. I just needed to hear his voice.
I have not been through this but have loved ones who have. Dont dull the pain with antidepressants or by any other artificial means Christopher . It only takes longer to work through. Other than that I have nothing to add that can help. Just that you are in my prayers. And my sisters whose husband walked out on her the day before Christmass many years ago and left her with two little girls. She and I prayed hard for you.
God bless and keep you my young friend
Jassy.
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Yesterday my sister once again chided me for my involvement with B-T because I was "forsaking the assembling of ourselves together" with others of like faith by not going to church to worship.
Now why would I bring this up right in the middle of heart-break from our members? Because if this forum isn't the "assembling together of believers" for the encouragement and edification of each other I don't know what is!
My prayers are with you both Claudia and daywalker, as we all join together with each other for prayer and support. Duane
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Hey,
I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your overwhelming support. Each post was inspiring and well-received. These last few days have been the very worst of my life. I know that God works all out for good, but right now it's hard to see that through these tearful eyes. Now, that this has happened, I can look back and see some of the warning signs, but unfortunately at the time, they were too subtle. I soo wish that we could atleast try to work it out, but she's convinced it's over. She says she loves me and I'm her best friend, but she's no longer "in love" with me. Not the kind of words you wanna hear from your significant other.
Thanks again everyone for your love and support.
Christopher
Still praying every night for you dear brother and will continue to do so. I know Words do the pain you feel no justice, there is nothing to say but just know you do not hurt alone.
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:( will pray for you & Claudia. *hugs*
Elaine
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Hey,
I just wanted to thank EVERYONE for your overwhelming support. Each post was inspiring and well-received. These last few days have been the very worst of my life. I know that God works all out for good, but right now it's hard to see that through these tearful eyes. Now, that this has happened, I can look back and see some of the warning signs, but unfortunately at the time, they were too subtle. I soo wish that we could atleast try to work it out, but she's convinced it's over. She says she loves me and I'm her best friend, but she's no longer "in love" with me. Not the kind of words you wanna hear from your significant other.
Thanks again everyone for your love and support.
Christopher
Hi Christopher,
I just wanted to post some comforting scriptures. I don't mean this as a hollow regurgitation of scripture. These are posted with the desire to help and comfort you in your time of heartache.
Psa 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
Isa 61:1 The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;
Isa 61:2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all that mourn;
Isa 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
Job 5:18 For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole.
Mal 4:2 But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall.
Psa 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
Psa 91:2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
Psa 91:3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
Psa 91:4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Psa 91:5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
Psa 91:6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
Psa 91:7 A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Psa 91:8 Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Psa 91:9 Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
Psa 91:10 There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
Psa 91:11 For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
Psa 91:12 They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Psa 91:13 Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
Psa 91:14 Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
Rth 2:12 The LORD recompense thy work, and a full reward be given thee of the LORD God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhF-OG_3_wU&feature=related (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhF-OG_3_wU&feature=related)
Here's hoping these bring you comfort and healing in your time of grief. :(
In His Love,
John
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dear brother christopher, i just wanted to let you know i've been thinking about you and your well-being.
i was driving through the tx hill country, coming home from my sister's the other evening at sunset, and God put you on my heart really big. i pray that each day which passes will bring you closer to the love of our LORD, and that His peace will come to you, here a little, there a little, until you can one day truly accept, and come to the place in your heart, mind, and soul that even this horrible, horrible, pain is part of your journey to Him. perhaps you have already done this. i know i am having trouble with this in my life. but, i know HE will NEVER leave us. EVER...
claudia
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A lovely song JohnMichael...
It is beautiful to see the heart felt warm empathy, kindness, love and prayer being felt and said for you Christopher and for you too Claudia, including those being said for you in silence and private.
Isa 53:3 ........... a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief:
Arc
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Christopher,
I am very sorry to hear about your troubles. Samson read it to me, and all I can think of was...Shame on her! Don't let this harden your heart. I know it is easier said then done. Our Father above loves you and is there comforting even if you can't feel it right know. I wish I had more to say to comfort you. It is old and a cliche but time does heal all things. I will keep you in prayers and hope that someday you can find the love you greatly deserve.
Pam
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At times when words fail me, I am reminded of Job...
Job 2:11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came every one from his own place; Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite: for they had made an appointment together to come to mourn with him and to comfort him.
Job 2:12 And when they lifted up their eyes afar off, and knew him not, they lifted up their voice, and wept; and they rent every one his mantle, and sprinkled dust upon their heads toward heaven.
Job 2:13 So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.
My prayers are with all of you who are going through the valley of the shadow of death...
tau
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Christopher, I'm so sorry my brother. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. But I'll pray for you, and I know many of our Brothers and Sisters, here at bible-truths are praying too. :) If you need someone to talk to, you can PM or chat with me, on facebook for as long as you like.
Gabriel
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Thank you again everyone for your overwhelming love, prayers and support.
I am feeling much better today, though I'd be lying if I said the hardest part was over. But I've come to accept that she really is serious about this divorce and that there's no turning back or reconciliation. In her own words, she says she "loves me, but is not longer in-love with me". She said when she looks at me she sees her best friend and nothing more. This is very hard for me to hear because I was that guy in high school that tended to get stuck in the "friend zone" with girls. I was the nice, sweet, brother-like friend that every girl loved to hang out with, but none wanted to date. So hearing my wife say that to me made me real bitter and i can't help but feel a little resentment toward her. though I can't fault her for being honest. it sucks but it is what it is.
I think the hardest part for me will be making myself "fall out of love" with her, yet still find a way to be friends. How does one make themselves "not" love someone romantically, yet still love them as a friend? I don't know how, but I don't think God wants her completely out of my life either. We've been together 8 years and being that I am 27 and she is 25, those are real important years, growing together from adolescents to adults. I met her when she was a senior in high school and was with her all the way through college years and beyond. She's been a huge part of my life and I really do hope she can continue to be...though it will be sooo very hard to do at first.
The good news is we are on speaking terms. In fact, we've been talking via google chat every day. (she is staying with a friend until next week) We seem to be on the same page as far as what needs to be done from here on and we both want to make this as smooth as possible. I guess thank God we dont have any kids! LOL.
Anyway, I've accepted that she doesn't want to be with me, and I definetely don't want to be with someone who doesn't feel for me like I feel for them. So, now it's time to move forward. Just so you all know, you may not hear as much from me for awhile, but know that I am here. We shutdown the Internet at home and I probably wont have it at my new place for a few months at least so only at work can I get online. But even then I will probably read a lot more than I will speak while these wounds heal.
Thanks again for everything. I love all of you!
Christopher 8)
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My brother, all I can say is to trust God and never give up. Believe it or not, the same thing happened to me in 1999 just one year after I had gotten married. What made it worse was that my wife was still in Jamaica and declared that she did not want to join me here in New York. I would travel back to Jamaica every 4 months at that time and it was during one of those trips that she told me she did not love me any more and wanted her freedom. I bawled like a baby and returned to Brooklyn a heartbroken man. I remember putting all our letters, wedding pictures and mementos in a box and feeling the pain which you are now describing. I remember the big hole in my heart.
One day I was listening to a Men's Retreat message by a popular preacher who said that God could restore marriages although they were apparently broken forever.
In 2002, she migrated here and lived in another borough of New York. I was only in contact by phone as we have a daughter who was also still in Jamaica.
In 2004 the Lord brought us back into contact, and in early 2005, we were reconciled and are still together. If God's will is for you two to be together, He will restore in His time. Just don't say never and in your pain, still trust God, Christopher. I am praying for you.
John (onelovedread)
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Dear Claudia and Christopher, still thinking and praying for the both of you! Please remember what i said before, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU! For yrs I plagued myself with guilt over not having been a better wife. This was fruitless and took a terrible toll on me. Then I started on a road to perfection which almost killed me, totally over doing it! Nothing worked. I lived in the past and prayed continually but God was silent and until I gave it up and surrendered (obviously don't surrender easily) did some peace come, still grieved but a balance started to come wherby God restored me and showed me His love and that I was in His eyes His spouse.
The thought of FALLING in love now with a human being is so foreign, sure it would be nice to have a personal lover but when I think of all that goes with it, I shudder. Something in me died and really don't see that ever being ressurrected. I am very happy with the love of God in me for me and others. I live for my Savior now. judy
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Thank you again everyone for your overwhelming love, prayers and support.
I am feeling much better today, though I'd be lying if I said the hardest part was over. But I've come to accept that she really is serious about this divorce and that there's no turning back or reconciliation. In her own words, she says she "loves me, but is not longer in-love with me". She said when she looks at me she sees her best friend and nothing more. This is very hard for me to hear because I was that guy in high school that tended to get stuck in the "friend zone" with girls. I was the nice, sweet, brother-like friend that every girl loved to hang out with, but none wanted to date. So hearing my wife say that to me made me real bitter and i can't help but feel a little resentment toward her. though I can't fault her for being honest. it sucks but it is what it is.
I think the hardest part for me will be making myself "fall out of love" with her, yet still find a way to be friends. How does one make themselves "not" love someone romantically, yet still love them as a friend? I don't know how, but I don't think God wants her completely out of my life either. We've been together 8 years and being that I am 27 and she is 25, those are real important years, growing together from adolescents to adults. I met her when she was a senior in high school and was with her all the way through college years and beyond. She's been a huge part of my life and I really do hope she can continue to be...though it will be sooo very hard to do at first.
The good news is we are on speaking terms. In fact, we've been talking via google chat every day. (she is staying with a friend until next week) We seem to be on the same page as far as what needs to be done from here on and we both want to make this as smooth as possible. I guess thank God we dont have any kids! LOL.
Anyway, I've accepted that she doesn't want to be with me, and I definetely don't want to be with someone who doesn't feel for me like I feel for them. So, now it's time to move forward. Just so you all know, you may not hear as much from me for awhile, but know that I am here. We shutdown the Internet at home and I probably wont have it at my new place for a few months at least so only at work can I get online. But even then I will probably read a lot more than I will speak while these wounds heal.
Thanks again for everything. I love all of you!
Christopher 8)
Just hang tight my brother...
We are here for you...
God is always with you...
Godbless us all..
-RemO