This last four moths of my life had been the MOST condensed, overwhelming, exiting, drastic, enjoyable, sad, DRAMATIC, challenging, terrific, dangerous, DELIGHTFUL, emotional exhausting, happy, pleasurable, and highly tiring of my life.
I started my trip in santa cruz CA along with my new friend Grace, we traveled by car all trough mexico; cities, tows, and villages... I saw beautiful landscapes of many kinds, beautiful people, listen awesome music, tasted many fruits and ate cheap and healthy... also, worked hard, rested hard, drove hard, visited a brother, family for a few days, had many descent conversations and even had time to write on personal spiritual subjects (plus facing different challenges and dangers on the road).
Just very recently I am back in santa cruz, where it all started, but now we no moneys and my romantic hopes being washed away, just right where God wants me to be, so to show me that life it's all VANITY and goals are pretty much like trying to catch the wind.
I am tired and grateful... Grace and I are very similar in many ways, we have danced as we have got to know each other more and faced many challenges together, (but she is 6 years younger than me), we were in loved with each other, then she got scared of commitment (and faced past traumas), then I had to once again realize that I CAN'T change her strong deep patterns of behavior (only God can) and so, I got over it, and moved on... But now that we are back she wants to be romantic (-on her terms- but I am not willing to compromise my beliefs). I thought that since she is not religious person my beliefs would just have to be shown with actions, but the thing is that she is into some other kind of spirituality which kind of bothers me (since she constantly is trying to teach me her things). I admire her in many ways and love her. However, I think (but not 100% sure) that it's time for me to move on again and FOR GOOD... how sad, this time it really seemed that I got SO close to find a wife. However I am not feeling sad, --yet.
Anyway, God is bigger to me than my temporal fuzzy emotions, and I am asking Him for peace of mind and strength to increase my joy--everyday.