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=> Off Topic Discussions => Topic started by: hillsbororiver on November 09, 2008, 11:55:36 AM
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This Christian man was going hunting one day by himself. While hunting, there was a bear that chased after him. While the man was running from the bear he dropped his gun. Then the man tripped over a huge log and broke his leg. He knew right then and there that he would be this big bear's meal. Then the man thought to himself, I know what I will do, I'll Pray.
So the man uttered a prayer: "Lord, make this bear a Christian bear."
***ZAP*** Lightning struck! And the man just knew that his prayer had been answered. Just then the bear came into view. It calmly walked up to the man and bowed down on his knees.
Then the bear spoke: "Dear Lord, I thank you for this food..."
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Joe the bear needed to add...may I not get indigestion from any false doctrines found within this tasy morcel and if there is any may is pass right through me.
Is this a spin off of the I have a question about eating at the banquet.. ;D ;D
beloved
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Joe the bear needed to add...may I not get indigestion from any false doctrines found within this tasy morcel and if there is any may is pass right through me.
:D
Great addition Beloved!
Joe
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Good one Joe...LOl
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That is right Joe..watch what you pray for..he asked for a Chrstian bear...God gave him one of his own a ....
BELIEVING BEAR.
Beloved
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That was a good one Joe!!! ;D ;D
Iris
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Oh come on!! The time it would take the bear to perform all of the christian rituals (20 second prayer, sprinkel holy water on face, drink wine and eat cracker, speak in tongues, do the cross sign about 20 times) the man could have easily run away. I'm sorry, but this joke is full of holes.
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Musicman, you make funny music!!! ;D ;D ;D
Iris
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Why would you ask for the bear to be made christian?
Christians are some of the most sadistic, unmerciful people I have ever met!
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Oh come on!! The time it would take the bear to perform all of the christian rituals (20 second prayer, sprinkel holy water on face, drink wine and eat cracker, speak in tongues, do the cross sign about 20 times) the man could have easily run away. I'm sorry, but this joke is full of holes.
:D :D :D
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Eaten by a Christian Bear ???, is that like burning in kindly hellfire.
george.
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:D
Hey George,
Neither option is especially appealing, but what about perhaps a dog?
This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping.
At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course).
That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little.
The friends were impressed, and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks.
Well, they said, "let's try this out."
Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!"
Quick as a wink, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
Peace,
Joe
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OOOOOoooooowww! That one was almost painful Joe! ;D :D ;)
(My father in law's gonna love it--thanks! The cornier the better, hee hee.)