=> General Discussions => Topic started by: gedeon on December 23, 2006, 02:59:28 PM

Title: raising children
Post by: gedeon on December 23, 2006, 02:59:28 PM
I am new to this site and am glad to have found it.  My husband and I have not attended church for about 2 years now for alot of the reasons you all do not.  My question however is how do we raise our children in this world full of pressures from other kids, without a church to get the fellowship they need from others of like mind.  My daughter wants to be part of a church she is 11.
And of course my family is always asking me why i donot attend church anymore?  It is difficult to explain this to my family but harder to explain to my children.  They do need fellowship of others, they only have their school friends who all go to church, they are all nice kids but  the beliefs of the traditional churches are not how we believe.  How do any of you with children handle this? comments would be appreciated   thanks
Title: Re: raising children
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on December 23, 2006, 05:28:57 PM
Hello gedeon

Welcome on your first post!

......What we do with our son is tell him the truth and we answer his questions as and when they come.

He has asked us about hell and the usual indoctrinating heresy that is top of the adjenda to implant into innocent minds.

How we have handled this is .....gently....without making a stage performance out of the issue. We encourage him to understand that we do not give any importance to the teachings of the Church but that this does not create a conflict zone or opportunity for any hostility. Our son is 10 years old. Very intelligent and has not problem or negative consequences arising from what we have taught him so far.

He used to attend a Church with us not too long ago and actually prefers to not have to have anything to do with going there anymore.  He was the first one who wanted to leave! ;D

Each child is different though and each situation will have to be handled on the unique merits of the circumstances.  I find that because we are comfortable, our son is too. :D..............

Peace to you

Arcturus :)

Title: Re: raising children
Post by: Kat on December 23, 2006, 07:58:44 PM
Hi gedeon,

I have three girls (17, 19, 23) that I raised in church.  As I homeschooled, it was my concern that they have social opportunities with kids of moral upbringing. 
I have been out of church over a year now, and they all decided to not attend also. 
To me church was like a christian country club, because there was the same problems in it, that you find in the world.  Sure they dress it up and make it appear good on the surface, but I had to deal with many difficulties there. 
Of course it was not all bad, I had really close friends there too.  But what I am saying is, that church is not the only place to find good friends.  My youngest is in high school now, and has some great friends that do not attend church and some that do.  If she wanted to go to church with one of her friends, I would not have a problem with that.
But the teaching that I want them to have comes from me.  I believe I have come to a knowledge of the truth, not saying I know it all that's for sure, but I study as much as I can to learn and grow.  So I feel like it is up to me to guide them into the truth, when they need to know something. 
I know my family does not always agree with the way I do things, but I'm the one who will ultimately answer for the choices I have made.  I speak to them in kindness, considering their ignorance of the truth, and inability to understand, but will not back down about what I believe.
So I pray and trust God, and do the best that I can  :)

mercy, peace, and love

Title: Re: raising children
Post by: rrammfcitktturjsp on December 23, 2006, 08:30:36 PM
Welcome Gedeon,

  I wanted to share a little bit of our lives with you.  We are going to raise our beautiful baby boy in the beliefs that are so common on this site and that Ray has been gracious to expose to a dying Christendom.  We will not allow our son or future kids to take part in any mainstream church or to be influenced by it.

  My hubby and I will take our son's "religious education" in our own hands guided by the Spirit of course.  What also helps is that Susan and her family are also nearby.  They are one with us in their beliefs and practices.  I am releived that my son will not have to grow up with the fear of hell, of tithing, and things of that nature.

  We will do what Arcturus has suggested.  Tell him the truth and answer questions as they come.  We will not be indoctrinating, we will let our actions speak louder than our words.


  Anne C. McGuire
Title: Re: raising children
Post by: Deborah-Leigh on December 24, 2006, 07:43:17 AM
Hello Anne

Your post made this scripture come to my doubt also because I am not so young anymore! :D and also I too was prompted by the Holy Spirit it come into this Forum ;D

Luke 2 : 27 And prompted by the Holy Spirit, he came into the temple and when the parents brought in the little child Jesus to do for Him what was customary according to the Law 28 (Simeon) took Him up in his arms and praised and thanked God and said, 29 And now, Lord, You are releasing your servant to depart in peace, according to Your word 30 For with my own eyes I have seen Your Salvation 31 Which You have ordained and prepared before in the presence of all peoples. 32 a Light for revelation to the Gentiles to disclose what was before unknown and to bring praise and honor and glory to Your people Israel.

It blesses me to think that you have been called to raise your children in Spirit and in the Truth that is so visible through Bible Truths.

Peace and love to you and a hug for your precious son 

Arcturus :)
Title: Re: raising children
Post by: rrammfcitktturjsp on December 24, 2006, 11:25:04 AM

  Where are you?  Looking for a post here.  ;D 


  I love it when the Spirit is at work through people.  Good stuff.


  Anne C. McGuire
Title: Re: raising children
Post by: gedeon on December 24, 2006, 05:17:03 PM
thank you all for your posts.  I really do feel as you all and we have been teaching our children the truth of what we see from
God's world. I was baptized in water when I became a Christian and I wanted my children to be baptized when they are ready to accept Christ wholly.  I know Ray teaches baptism is symbolic and I do believe if there is a reason you cant be baptised in water this is fine  God knows our hearts but baptism is an affirmation in your faith in the Lord.  A physical step publicly to a spiritual commitment to the Lord and what about laying on of hands as the Bible speaks of to recieve the Holy Spirit?  These are things I question when I think of my children coming to an age of accountability before our Father .   Thanks
Title: Re: raising children
Post by: hebrewroots98 on December 26, 2006, 04:17:42 AM
Hello Gedeon and everyone,

(Great answers for Gedeon.)  Since my child is homeschooled, he has a different understanding as to whom his friends are.  He has realised that he can communicate with adults as well as with children of his own age and everyone else; he is very versatile in his communications with others and age is not a factor for him to like someone or want to be around them.  We simply use the daily opportunities of whom all he may encounter in a day and he excells in that arena.  We figure that God chose whom HE wants in our sons' life on a daily basis, and that HE will make those opportunities happen (weather a bunch of 8 yr olds from the home school group or no kids at all in one day;) it all works out for the good since God is orchestrating what is uniquely best for my sons' individual needs.  He never really grew up in an 'organised Sunday school class', so he really doesn't know that he is missing anything.  He recently turned 8 yrs old. (he did attend that 'church' type of setting on a few occassions and he liked it.)

But, as for your children having been raised in a public school environment where they are used to alot of children of the same ages being around one another; as is a Sunday school setting, they will have to learn to take Gods' lead here.  It won't be very easy for them, at the start, but God will provide for them whom needs to be in their life on a daily basis.)  Just don't forget and trust that God will bring someone special in their life that will fill their void.

As far as 'going' to 'church'; WE are the church.  What you and I are doing right now is 'having church'.  Perhaps when you get comfortable with teaching this concept to them, then they will come around  (and your family members whom are messing with you) will 'get it'. 

I hope this helps out.  Keep us posted dear sister!


Title: Re: raising children
Post by: mari_et_pere on December 26, 2006, 12:49:22 PM

Speaking from personal experience here: I grew up attending a Christian school and went to the Baptist church that started the school. In total, I attended the school for 12 years, from age 4 till I was 16, so obviously I'm well indoctrinated and knowledgable about the "mainstream" way of doing Christianity. And yes, they "do" Christianity. Hypocritically "do" I might add. I say all this to make a point: Through all my teaching of the mainstream Baptist doctrines as a child, I still learned the truth. Therefore I'm not sure if keeping a kid out of church isn't a disservice to him/her. Listen: having people your age to hang out with and discuss stuff with does wonders. That's what fellowship is all about, right? Our kids would be hard-pressed to find someone to "fellowship" with in a public school. Church at least has kids who are taught to read their Bibles, seek out Jesus and the truth, and to shun the wicked ways of the world.
When they come to you with questions of hell, Lucifer, salvation and what not, tell them the truth. Then perhaps they'll carry that truth into church and influence their peers. I would never lie to my kids. I'd never suggest that! But them getting some good experiences with other kids their age will do them good, IMO. Just keep an eye on what they're being taught of course.