Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[mharrell08]

Bill: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Mr. Jones: Bill! Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?

Bill: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.

Mr. Jones: Yes.

Bill: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently have three companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.

Mr. Jones: A raise? Son, I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.

Bill: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic downturn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.

Mr. Jones: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?

Bill: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!

Mr. Jones: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?

Bill: Oh, the electric company, gas company and water company!


Marques 

[Astrapho]

Hahahahaha!!!

[iris]

    


iris

[Samson]

  , and that about sums it up, as to whats really going on.

                         Samson.

[aqrinc]

Hey i could use that raise, right about yesterday .

Wait someone is knocking on my door who's After Me

george .

[onelovedread]

A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide.'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

[cjwood]

onelovedread, it sounds like you been hangin out with our craig.

claudia

[Samson]

A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, ‘I would like to buy some cyanide.'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'
The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

Yes indeed, that was priceless, what goes around, comes around, well at least for those two,  .

                                Thanks, Samson.

[onelovedread]

I haven't been around that long, so I'm not sure whether this one was shared before. It's really not original and some British dude named G. Campbell Morgan used it to tell of the man who followed a method of Bible Study that I unfortunately used to follow before becoming a part of Bible Truths and Ray's teachings.
A curious seeker, after attending one of those hell raising evangelistic tent meetings, returned home. He was very perplexed and began searching for his bible. He dusted it off and with trepidation, randomly opened his Bible, pointed to a verse, and read Matthew 25:7: "Judas went out and hanged himself."
The man became greatly disturbed and finding these words unhelpful, he tried again. This time he found Luke 10:37: "Go, and do thou likewise."
By this time he had become quite scared and in desperation he tried once more.
This time the words that jumped at him were John 13: 27: "That thou doest, do quickly."