Topic: Aging (Read 9448 times)

hillsbororiver · « **on:** July 11, 2008, 11:44:34 AM »

George Carlin's Views on Aging
(Absolutely Brilliant)

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna
be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words
sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad
milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a
sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes,
it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are
gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day
thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you
TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you
start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Peace,

Joe

Rene · « **Reply #1 on:** July 11, 2008, 12:22:58 PM »

Yes, Joe,

His observations are right on the money! So funny and so true.

René

iris · « **Reply #2 on:** July 11, 2008, 02:55:11 PM »

Thanks for the laugh!

Iris

hillsbororiver · « **Reply #3 on:** July 11, 2008, 03:44:45 PM »

Hi Rene & Iris,

Glad you got a laugh out of this, I have always found the best humor has that ring of truth to it!

Peace,

Joe

Samson · « **Reply #4 on:** July 11, 2008, 05:14:46 PM »

Hi Joe,

That was pretty funny,

; In my case, if I live to be 100, that will give my EX-wives 49 more years to emotionally torture me and attach my character. As some have said, if you die, problem solved. Judgement starts at the House of God, that Judgement for me is usually of emotionally based nature, I know, Samson stop your whining, Delilah is not finished with you yet;

Anyway, Great Humor, I'll have show this to the Freckle Girl, right now she's being tortured at work.

Sincerely, Samson.

EKnight · « **Reply #5 on:** July 11, 2008, 07:17:10 PM »

I did a life expectancy test one and it said I would live to 102!! I don't want to live that long. Maybe I will feel differently when I am 90.

Eileen

hillsbororiver · « **Reply #6 on:** July 11, 2008, 07:34:26 PM »

Quote from: EKnight on July 11, 2008, 07:17:10 PM

I did a life expectancy test one and it said I would live to 102!! I don't want to live that long. Maybe I will feel differently when I am 90.

Eileen

Or when you are 100 and a half!

Peace,

Joe

EKnight · « **Reply #7 on:** July 11, 2008, 07:40:19 PM »

Ha ha yeah. You're funny

Eileen

hillsbororiver · « **Reply #8 on:** July 11, 2008, 07:45:32 PM »

Quote from: Samson on July 11, 2008, 05:14:46 PM

In my case, if I live to be 100, that will give my EX-wives 49 more years to emotionally torture me and attach my character. As some have said, if you die, problem solved.

Hi Samson,

At least they are "ex" and now you have a wife who you can truly share with!

There is no doubt you have not been the first to experience this, as it is written;

Pro 21:9 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Pro 21:19 It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Ladies PLEASE understand that I know there are plenty of bone headed men out there who have a unique talent for making one's life miserable, just ask my ex wife!

Peace (really),

Joe

OBrenda · « **Reply #9 on:** July 11, 2008, 09:58:32 PM »

I wouldn't argue with the wisdom of a Proverb!

I actually considered telling people I'm 20 years older than I am, thinking people would respond, Wow you look good for your age. But I am afraid it might backfire

rk12201960 · « **Reply #10 on:** July 11, 2008, 10:03:48 PM »

The way I see it,
20 to 25 more years and I'm off of this rock, then I can go home.

Peace and get it done.

Randy

EKnight · « **Reply #11 on:** July 11, 2008, 10:06:13 PM »

Ha ha Brenda. There was a time when neighbors would see me across the street and say "oh, I thought you were one of the kids" (I am only 4'10). And I got ID'd for cigarettes when I was close to thirty. But those days are long long gone. Now people think my kids could be my grandkids. He giveth and He taketh away.

Eileen

OBrenda · « **Reply #12 on:** July 11, 2008, 10:32:00 PM »

Were you insulted at the time they mistook you as one of the kids?

I got a funny one for you....Eileen!

My Husband is 5 years older than I am. My Bother in Law is my age and almost completely gray! One day I come home from work and they are both there at my house with a Sears repair guy fixing our clothes dryer. After some polite banter the repair Guy ask me how I put up with my two sons!

What Ya Gonna Do...maybe he was Discerning how Spiritually Mature in Wisdom I am?
(not)

EKnight · « **Reply #13 on:** July 11, 2008, 11:00:28 PM »

ooooo, I would have shot him a look to kill!!!!

Eileen

Vangie · « **Reply #14 on:** July 12, 2008, 01:30:42 AM »

Ouchy O Brenda! That one stung me way over here too.

Shooting looks with Eileen...Pffff on that Sears repair guy, what does he know?

Funny thread Joe, thanks for the George Carlin stories--he was unique and so witty.

Dave in Tenn · « **Reply #15 on:** July 12, 2008, 05:28:49 AM »

A lot of times when I'm out with my mother, people think we're married. I like to believe that's because she looks so young, because the other option is just too hard to bear.

None of those are as humiliating as the time I was in the hospital. My sister was visiting me when the Doctor came in to give me the pre-release speech. He looked at both of us and said, "No sex for 6 weeks." thinking she was my wife. We assured him that THAT was one post-operative suggesting we would certainly keep.

I believe the laugh we had over that was what cured me.

Hugely fun thread, ya'll. Thanks.

Craig · « **Reply #16 on:** July 12, 2008, 09:09:15 AM »

Funny Dave,

Reminds me of a doctors visit a few weeks ago. My wife has always had problems with breast lumps. Every 6 months is seems she is visiting a surgeon to remove a cyst. She had her first mammogram that turned up something (imagine that) So she sees the surgeon again. I went this time with her, when the doctor came in he said "I see you've brought your husband with you" I replied that "I came to see what it was you did because you see her breasts more than me" The doctors face turned 3 shades of red and he said "You just need to make an appointment"

Craig

Samson · « **Reply #17 on:** July 12, 2008, 11:52:06 AM »

Quote from: Craig on July 12, 2008, 09:09:15 AM

Funny Dave,

Reminds me of a doctors visit a few weeks ago. My wife has always had problems with breast lumps. Every 6 months is seems she is visiting a surgeon to remove a cyst. She had her first mammogram that turned up something (imagine that) So she sees the surgeon again. I went this time with her, when the doctor came in he said "I see you've brought your husband with you" I replied that "I came to see what it was you did because you see her breasts more than me" The doctors face turned 3 shades of red and he said "You just need to make an appointment"

Craig

Hey Craig,

Is that the inevitable fate of ALL(Pas) men, hopefully the translators in this case render the Greek Word(Pas) to mean some or as many as, instead of everyone.

Apparently, their is some advantages in being a Doctor.

Samson.

Vangie · « **Reply #18 on:** July 13, 2008, 12:02:28 AM »

Making an appointment can go a long way too.

Just make sure you're not late for the date!

bible-truths.com/forums

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Author Topic: Aging (Read 9448 times)

hillsbororiver

iris

hillsbororiver

Samson

EKnight

hillsbororiver

EKnight

hillsbororiver

OBrenda

rk12201960

EKnight

OBrenda

EKnight

Vangie

Samson

Vangie