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[Ian 155]

This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two seater airplane with just the pilot.  He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead, and I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground.

I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.

'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now look at the front panel and give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

(Pause)


"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ."   

The Irish Millionaire:

Mick, from Dublin , appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter,
"but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left, phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"

"Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?

a) Sparrow
b) Thrush,
c) Magpie,
d) Cuckoo?"

"I haven't got a clue." said Mick,
''So I'll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ..."

Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and
repeated the question to him.

 Paddy:"Dat's simple it's a cuckoo."
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure."

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go with cuckoo as my answer."
"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Dat it is."

There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million euros!"

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"

"Because Mick  da Cuckoo lives in a blooming clock!"

[Rhys 🕊]

Ha ha Ian 2 jokes in one post. Is dat even allowed?

I prefer da second joke there Paddy. We are suppose to love da blonde's and dat I do.

Dat be true about da cuckoo, dat's what I picked Paddy my son. As sure as sure can be.

Rhys better go now before I become permanently Irish. Oh dear dat would be shame!