My 62 year old cousin, Garth died last night after battling a brain tumor which was found after his cancerous right lung was removed last August. For many years he had been a chronic marijuana user who always mixed his drug with tobacco.
I'd been visiting him once a week since last year when he was admitted to hospital. I never prayed with him at his bedside and occasionally shared scriptures. He was not open to that type of sharing and would constantly curse me with quite vivid expressions which I could not repeat here. But he would always tell me he loved me after his tirades, and I told him I loved him too. Near the end, his sister requested that I get my ex-pastor to come and pray for him, but when I asked my cousin's permission he did not say yes or no. And somehow I did not feel led in my spirit to do so.
I once made a thoughtless remark which revealed or at least hinted at my self-righteousness and he quite rightly rebuked me. He told me that he prayed everyday and who the hell was I to judge him. I told him I was sorry and I really was.
I find that I am not sad because he died before he underwent severe pain, and I believe now that God does not finish with us when we die. My cousin, like all of us, will stand at the judgment and God will decide his future. Thank God that we now know that there is no 'eternal' torture at the hands of a wicked deity who will let sinners perish in fire that burns forever yet does not consume flesh.
Because of Ray's teaching me on the sovereign God Who operates all, I find myself feeling full of hope and no longer worrying about my cousin's soul or self-righteously condemning him.