thank-you for your encouraging words and prayers Arc.
thank-you too Nan for your prayers.
John from Kentucky: i'm trying to understand your tone, perhaps i have it wrong. i don't want to control her, i want to rest knowing that i have done as i should towards her. if she dies tomorrow, or if she finds truth in this life and repents, or if she goes on a 10 year in-the-gutter on-the-news bender, it is part of our Fathers plan. i know that. it's more that my desire to "do the right thing" is frustrated by the fact that i don't know exactly what the right thing is in this situation. i don't believe we're called to just kick back and watch the show- we're IN the show. and i feel as though you might not have thought through the statement "let Jesus save her." none of us are in any position to "let", "allow", "authorize" or "enable" the creator of the universe to do or not do anything. so we drop the "let" part. Jesus will save her. i want to be a useful tool in the masters hand in this process of saving her. despite our unworthiness, it pleases Him to use us to achieve His work. yes i'll be useful IF God intends me to and i won't if He doesn't. i get that too. i feel like i might be stepping off of solid ground here so correct me if i'm wrong, but (part of) how he gets us to do His will is by motivating us to, and i'm motivated. but now what?
i suppose to answer my own question, i look to Him for guidance.
despite my confusion or maybe difference of opinion, thank-you too for your response, John from Kentucky. i pray that this is received in the spirit it was given.