I have experienced the same inability and frustration. How are we to square our experience with 1 Peter 2:11-12
1 Peter 2:11-12; 15-16:
11 Dear friends, I urge you as aliens and temporary residents NOT TO GIVE IN TO THE DESIRES OF YOUR OLD NATURE, WHICH KEEP WARRING AGAINST YOU; 12 but to live such good lives among the pagans that even though they now speak against you as evil-doers, they will, as a result of seeing your good actions, give glory to God on the Day of his coming.
15 FOR IT IS GOD’S WILL that YOUR DOING GOOD should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. 16 SUBMIT AS PEOPLE WHO ARE FREE, but not letting your freedom serve as an excuse for evil; rather, submit as God’s slaves.
We are not to give in to the desires of our OLD NATURE (we have now a new nature), we are not to let our freedom serve as an excuse for evil. I heard a self-appointed false Christ say that since ALL OUR SINS have been forgiven, we can do whatever our flesh pulls us to do. The sin is no more. In fact, he claims that Jesus has destroyed Satan, that he no longer EXISTS! I don't believe this of course.
Maybe the answer is in 1 Peter 2:1-2! : Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice, of all deceit, hypocrisy and envy, and of all the ways there are of speaking against people; 2 AND BE LIKE NEWBORN BABIES, THIRSTY FOR THE PURE MILK OF THE WORD; SO THAT BY IT, YOU MAY GROW UP INTO DELIVERANCE. 3 For you have tasted that Adonai is good.
"Growing up into deliverance". Growing up is a process; it takes time and lots of mistakes. A newborn baby grows up under the care of a loving parent that looks after him, picks him up when the baby has fallen, that wipes his tears and soothes his wounds, and so on and so forth. Our Heavenly Father is doing the same with us, I'm sure. We have tasted Adonai, and we know that He is good (Psalm 34.9: Taste, and see that Adonai is good. How blessed are those who take refuge in him!)
Roger