largeli, when reading the Scripture one thing that I consider is that when one of the Apostles calls somebody a "brother" they are referring to the believers they were teaching. So I look at the Scripture as instruction to the elect and they are the only ones that will understand of the spiritual message within it. The world can read the physical stories, but they are blind (just like we all are at first) to the spiritual message behind those stories.
When Scripture say that you must "hate" somebody it is in the relative sense or in comparison to something... look how it is used by Jesus Christ. I will make comments in blue.
Luke 14:26 If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his (physical) father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also (in comparison to their love for God), he cannot be My disciple.
v. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me, he cannot be My disciple.
v. 28 For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he may have enough to finish it;
Mark 10:28 Then Peter began to say to Him, Lo, we have left all and have followed You.
v. 29 And Jesus answered and said, Truly I say to you, There is no man that has left (from our old life) house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands for My sake and the gospel's sake,
v. 30 but he shall receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands (these are real physical things too, but are provided for our spiritual well being) with persecutions (comes with the 'spiritual' territory), and in the world to come, eternal life (the ultimate prize).
Just wanted to give you another perspective to consider. Hope it is helpful.
mercy, peace and love
Kat