Wow I am so proud of how all of you guys addressed this delicate subject., good answers especially Dennis.
As an OB/Gyn it seems to me that there may be
several issues going on at the same time.
Your wife fseems to feel that since the delivery that she is uncorfotable, was she cut or did she tear. The repeair could be the problem.
She could be fearful of getting pregant and having to experience childbirth again.
Right on Dennis Her hormones could be unbalanced, if breastfeeding it could be estrogen if not it could be DHEA or testosterone.
All of these issues should be addressed by a gynecologist.
Another issue is her sexuality. Could there be a history of abuse?
On the other hand some girls have been brainwashed that sex and their bodies are "dirty" and cannot let go of these thoughts even when they conflict with their feelings towards their husbands.
These issues are best handle by gyneclogist who has a special interst in sexuality (many are too busy to be able to do this because it take so much time). If you live in a cosmopolitan area you can also look for a sex therapist, I recommend a female one in this case. Even though I hate to refer to Babylon....there are even christian sex therapists...they should at least help with scriptural references even though they will be physical and not spiritual references )
It is sweet that you are so patient but I fully understand how difficult it is that your wife is not meeting your needs
(1Co 11:9 CLV) For, also, man is not created because of the woman, but woman because of the man."It is the only the wife who can brings out the best in her husband...that is why God gave Adam a helpmeet. When her husband needs are met there is nothing he will not do for her in return.
(1Co 11:11 CLV) However, neither is woman apart from man, nor man apart from woman, in the Lord. A married couple are one flesh and symbolic of Christ and his elect
(1Co 11:12 CLV) For even as the woman is out of the man, thus the man also is through the woman, yet all is of God."Eve came from Adam
All makind is born through womandkind
All of humankind will return to GOD
Beloved