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Author Topic: First Love  (Read 4532 times)

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First Love
« on: July 09, 2008, 08:38:32 AM »

> Hello Mr. Ray Smith,
> I just read the article about the beast within us. All my life I was told that
> the antichrist was, as you said, someone who was going to deceive all of us (as
> if the government doesn't do that enough already). I think back on my life and
> believe I have left Jesus in the past. I don't tell this story to many people
> because its embarrassing. But I need to know if you consider this leaving the
> Lord.
> Maybe about a couple of years ago I thought I was gay. I had unnatural urges. I
> finally gave in after my best friend (Who by the way I teach about God) didn't
> want to reciprocate affection (Simple things, like hugs). I in a way disowned
> him, and I had an attitude that basically was like telling Jesus to leave me
> alone, I wanted to find a boyfriend and find acceptance. After about a full year
> in dating many guys I came to the realization as to how dirty I was as a sinner.
> I felt terrible; to this day I feel terrible about it. I never believed it
> before, but I left Jesus because I gave into the belief that HE made me that
> way.

> I knew all along while indulging in this life that I was doing wrong. I got
> tired of the life, I never did get accepted by anyone (I even got rejected a few
> times), I learned my lesson. I fell to my face and said sorry to Jesus, to God
> my Father so many times. I am still sorry for what I have done. I have never
> thought of myself as a beast before, or a son of perdition. But now after seeing
> what you had to say about it, it does make sense. And I do believe I was a beast
> in my sins. I literally grieve in my heart for turning away from HIM.
> I am happy to say I am definitely back, and me and my friends relationship
> couldn't be any stronger. I have unconditional love for him and would never
> truly disown him in anyway. That definitely goes for God the Father and Jesus
> Christ as well. That must be somewhat rare for someone to fall away from God in
> the way I detailed. I have never heard of anyone else doing the same. Anyway,
> thanks for taking part with God to open my eyes, to understand that I was in
> fact, a beast.

Dear Reader: Quite to the contrary. Many have left their initial belief and acceptance of God and Jesus and have gone back into the world with a spiritually-minded vengeance!  Thankfully, God recalls some out of that condition, as He has done with you. All we who have "left our First Love" have similar feelings about how stupid, and selfish, and carnal we became.  But it is good to feel guilt and shame. These emotions help to continuously keep us from committing the same sins or to the same degree.  We have to "COME OUT"  of Babylon, and then we need to "STAY OUT."  And the staying out is often as difficult as the coming out. The more we spiritually grow and understand, the more we see our shortcomings.  It is good that God does not show us all of our sins all at once--it would be so over-powering and shameful, that we would have trouble facing another day.  Glad that you have seen the Light.
God be with you,
« Last Edit: July 09, 2008, 09:24:08 AM by Chris R »
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