I'm on a posting binge tonight I guess.
Sometimes I wonder, what do I do now?
I have spent the last 8 months learning these truths, reading all of Ray's papers and email's, studying the bible. There's still much more to study.
What happens next? I've tried to share with a few people online - not much luck there. I've talked with my wife a bit about it, no light bulb for her yet though. I will work on it.
But going forward I'm not sure how to proceed:
- going to work is like a "dream-state" now. I do my work but I'm constantly thinking about Ray's teaching's and bible study.
- my daughter is almost 4 years old and she is starting Jr Kindergarten with the Catholic school board - I wonder if that is a mistake
- I'm still going to church (Catholic). In fact I play piano for the Sunday service. I'm not sure what to do there.
So much to figure out and so much to learn still. It is overwhelming sometimes, especially without a support network. At least this forum is here.
However some things are giving me more perspective now. Like I will get stuck in traffic and get a bit upset. And then I will think "hey wait. Since I don't really have free will, God made me stuck in this traffic jam for a reason. Perhaps he wants me to learn patience."
Or I will be in the park with my daughter and I think "God designed this moment just to be as it is." I will look at a tree and realize God designed every leaf on that tree, and every cell of each leaf. And he set the wind in motion to cause each leaf to rustle. And I realize it is so beautiful and God is so amazing.
Really it has been a profound year
Kevin