Just watched some of that movie "Earth" playing at the theatres. Those of you that saw it may comment about the wonderful scenes. Others may comment about the savageness of nature while others are just thankful to share the planet with such amazing creatures. I, however must set everyone straight about this movie. See, what you saw was mostly rigged. I'll give you a few examples. But first, you're probably wondering how I know this. Well, it just so happens that I was one of the main camera men for this movie (Musicman's Hollywood Filming Agency), and boy do I have some revelations. I guess one of the more disturbing moments for people watching this film was seeing that polar bear struggling with every ounce of strength, only to end with its demise. Remember, we are led to believe that this animal got stuck way out on the ice as the warmer months approached and couldn't walk on the thin ice. We remember how it made it to shore with all of those walruses there. Lacking strength, it fought tooth and nail for a meal, but in the end, the walruses escaped and the bear supposedly laid down for the last time.
Not so. Do you think the animal is so stupid that it would travel that far away from land with the warmer months approaching? First off, if you'll remember, the polar bear looked pretty p'd off to be walking on the ice to begin with. That's because we lowered the bear down from a helicopter right on to that ice. We watched it struggle and struggle through the ice and water until we got bored and tazered it. Then we took it to that island with all those ugly walruses. As it began to come to, we started filming again. It was now famished and weak. We had hoped that it could handle itself but unfortunately, it was made a fool of and the big ugly seals went back into the water. Furthur, you'll notice that when the bear was really weak the seals came back and began taunting the weakend bear. Due to my love of animals, I was raging mad at that. But do you really believe that giant bear died? It did not. That's because I went and tazered the biggest walrus on the island. I then cut it up into thin, easy to chew slices and fed it to the dieing bear.
How about that little deer thing that was running from the wolf? Well, when the wolf caught it, notice how they switched scenes quickly. That's because I walked up behind the wolf and clubbed it with a frying pan. The little deer died anyway from internal injuries, but clubbing the wolf made me feel better. And the crew laughed.
Finally, how bout them skeet trying to fly against the wind over the Himalayas? They nearly lost their lives trying to reach the fertile other side. But they made it and all the children at the theatre cheered. Little do they know what took place when the scene changed. . . . .Just to put this into perspective, imagine you're a skeet struggling with all of your might to fly against a very stiff upper breeze. Anyhow, you finally make the other side. You are relieved and beginning to relax when you see a bunch of us guys holding skeet riffles. You say "Oh", "Come" "ooooooooooonnnnnn"!! Then the fire works start. I won best shot. Sorry for bragging. Man I love nature.
Anyhow, you guys at bibletruths can't tell anybody about this. I could be sued badly for what I've leaked out here. It's a good thing nobody knows that we were firing those seals out of a cannon. right at the great white shark to assure perfect angels for filming.
Author
Topic: Earth (Read 13417 times)