I'm sorry it took me so long to respond to all of you wonderful people, but my modem was down, and then suddenly it started working again.
One thing for sure is that I wasn't looking for sympathy, but it looks like I got it anyway. Not only that, but I am overwhelmed with your understanding in having gone through this yourself. I agree with all of you that I need to take a break.
Since I came here and read all of LOF and got on this forum I haven't spent one day of giving it a rest. It literally has consumed me, but in a good way. Day and night, all day long, everyday I think about all of this truth; rolling it around in my head, and then seeing the applications in every ones questions, post and replies on the forum. I just couldn't get enough of it. I know this isn't a good example, but I'll give it anyway; it's like those days of smokin pot and getting the munchies, eating everything in the kitchen, and then going to the store to get more; ho hos, Twinkies and candy bars and ice cream. Everything tasted good.
Well, you get my point I know.
This morning I started my day like any other day, but something was wrong and not usual. I was very sad and distressed, something I can't explain. Its not like me to be that way. As soon as the forum page came up, I clicked on account settings and moved my cursor to delete with this overwhelming sadness in me, and deleted my account. This happened w/o giving thought to it. So strange. I went outside in the dark and prayed, came back in and reactivated the account to give notice and say goodbye, and deleted again. My emotions still aren't right, but one thing for sure is that I will not delete anymore, but I will take some time to gather my thoughts and feelings as all have suggested.
By the way; when I read all of your replies, I became very emotional and touched; to put it mildly.
I will be back.
Peace and love my dear friends
Roy