Just a bit of sharing

[MePogo]

We spent yesterday in the big city, Hermosillo, sixty miles from our village.  My husband had yet another round of CT scans and x-rays.  Here, unlike the US, we have rapid results...we pay equivalent of $4 for the visit and simply wait for the doctors to evaluate.  He has metastasis to the bone from bladder cancer and has been getting progressively worse since his hip shattered last year.  Radiation appeared to help for two months but now the cancer is growing so rapidly and spread from the hip to ribs.  His hip is as fragile as egg shell and at any point, will shatter.  He was an alive, vital active person last year and now uses a walker to make a daily trip to the bathroom; otherwise not leaving a recliner.  He is in pain constantly.  The hip has no normal bone left and the hip is a huge deformity pressing on nerves that set his whole leg on fire.  There is no hope here according to the doctors.  We have morphine and a great deal of other meds for pain relief but he hates the medication which he feels is robbing him of any life.  Just lay in the chair 24/7.  He can't lay in bed any more because the rib now leaves him unable to breath laying down.  I cannot leave the house any more, even go into my yard.  I'm too afraid to leave him alone, so I only sleep when I'm sure he is sleeping and sleep on the sofa to be close. 

Wayne wants to "let it go" and doesn't want to fight this any more.  But I'm strong enough to fight for both of us.  I've been in touch with Ray and family and tried the alternative treatments that I could but with no results so far.  I think we need more aggressive help but he isn't transportable because he can't sit up or lay down without extreme pain.  I keep thinking that I will wake up and find out this is just all a bad dream.  I cry a lot and pray a lot but not even sure what to pray for anymore. 

The up-side of this all is that we talk, when the pain is too bad we talk through it.  He has grown in faith and hope with the words of Ray.  He doesn't "KNOW" the way I do but hopes that this is true, that there is no hell, that God does love him.  So, why is he putting me through this is always the unanswerable question.  He feels this hell is the here and now as bone is not a vital organ and this may go on 2 days, 2 weeks, months or years.  After 40 years, I don't want to lose him and don't know where he begins and I end but I can't stand to watch the suffering.

If anyone has any suggestions as to scripture, words or hope to give him on faith, hell, church (Babylon), that could be comforting to him, I would be grateful for the help.  The nights we "talk through the pain" until meds kick in, it is the topic that helps.  He's afraid of death and I've read to him and talked hard and fast to ease his fear but so many here are wiser and know so much more than I do so any suggestions would be great.  I want him to love God and not be afraid of Him.  He is a good man but feels his life has been full of sin.... well, haven't we all fallen short? 

Wayne is about the same age as Ray and both were in the construction trade.  He had bladder cancer 6 years ago next December and now this.  There are a great many parallels and I talk to him often of Ray and read to him from Ray's words.  It's made him wonder why Ray has suffered such a similar illness when he was so into studying the Word of God.  He said "Ray didn't deserve this but maybe I did".  I don't think anyone deserves it.  So many "whys?"  If anyone can help me with words to say.... I'm running out of them lately. 

Thanks, and love to all,
Pogo

[lauriellen]

dear pogo,
i just can not tell you how sorry i am for what you are going through. i can relate so much with your feelings, questions and just not knowing what else
to do.....but i can tell you one thing for sure, God has guided you to this website, just as He did me...i truely feel that you will find all of your answers
in Gods scriptures....just keep drawing close to God and lean on Him for your
strength, comfort and wisdom....you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
love,
lauriellen

[walt123]

Hello pogo

Just something to think about.

Laughter's Effects on the Body
In the last few decades, researchers have studied laughter's effects on the body and turned up some potentially interesting information on how it affects us:

Blood flow. Researchers at the University of Maryland studied the effects on blood vessels when people were shown either comedies or dramas. After the screening, the blood vessels of the group who watched the comedy behaved normally -- expanding and contracting easily. But the blood vessels in people who watched the drama tended to tense up, restricting blood flow.


Immune response. Increased stress is associated with decreased immune system response, says Provine. Some studies have shown that the ability to use humor may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies in the body and boost the levels of immune cells, as well.


Blood sugar levels. One study of 19 people with diabetes looked at the effects of laughter on blood sugar levels. After eating, the group attended a tedious lecture. On the next day, the group ate the same meal and then watched a comedy. After the comedy, the group had lower blood sugar levels than they did after the lecture.


Relaxation and sleep. The focus on the benefits of laughter really began with Norman Cousin's memoir, Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins, who was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a painful spine condition, found that a diet of comedies, like Marx Brothers films and episodes of Candid Camera, helped him feel better. He said that ten minutes of laughter allowed him two hours of pain-free sleep.

Pro 16:24  Pleasan words are as an honeycomb,  sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

I just wanted to add something helpful
Walt

[Marlene]

Hello Pogo, I know, that we are here for a taste of good and evil. But, since coming here I know, that all will be well with everyone . God loves all not just a select few. I hope God comforts your husband and shows him his great love for him. I will keep you in my prayers.

I am going through a hard time myself with a niece who is 35 battling cancer that was in the colon and is in the pancreas and liver. Everything, over here seems like it takes them forever. MRI's Cat Scans and things.

Things, may look impossible, but with God they are not.  I know, that whatever God wills is right. But, of course we always see it the other way.

I think, Walt has good advice. We need to laugh.

In His Love,
Marlene

[firefly77]

MePogo,
There isn't anything I can say to make it easier for the two of you; I can feel your emotional pain and stress, however. The only thing I can do is pray for God to comfort, strengthen and love both of you in a very real and tangible way.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Angie

[NoviceBeliever]

MePogo:  I am sending you and Wayne all my prayers that you will find strength and comfort.

What would you suffer if you where given a promise to have the most unfathomable gift from GOD?  The love that HE has promised us is so beyond our understanding and grasp, it is all encompassing. HE has given us the most precious gift, of His son, to prove to us how very important and beloved we are.  What we are experiencing while we are here are all the things that he needs us to for a greater purpose in His kingdom.  But GOD would never make us experience these things alone. HE is always with us and always provides for us.  HE helps us with the people he puts into our lives, whether it be a spouse, a dear friend, or even through a stranger, to support, comfort, care and edify us. HE is showing us the smallest glimpse of the love HE has for us through the love that is expressed by others. You and Wayne are very blessed to have each other. NB

(Heb 6:14 YLT)  saying, `Blessing indeed I will bless thee, and multiplying I will multiply thee;'

(Heb 6:15 YLT)  and so, having patiently endured, he did obtain the promise;

(Heb 6:16 YLT)  for men indeed do swear by the greater, and an end of all controversy to them for confirmation is the oath,

(Heb 6:17 YLT)  in which God, more abundantly willing to shew to the heirs of the promise the immutability of his counsel, did interpose by an oath,

(Heb 6:18 YLT)  that through two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, a strong comfort we may have who did flee for refuge to lay hold on the hope set before us ,

(Heb 6:19 YLT)  which we have, as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and entering into that within the vail,

(Heb 6:20 YLT)  whither a forerunner for us did enter--Jesus, after the order of Melchisedek chief priest having become--to the age.

[Dave in Tenn]

In case you've overlooked this.  It's one of Ray's shorter articles and may be a comfort, if you agree.

http://bible-truths.com/death.htm

This scripture came to mind in struggling to reply.  Emphasis mine.

Heb 12:1-13  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.  In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.  And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.  For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."

It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?  If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.  Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?  For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. (that will be everybody) Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.

Prayers for you and your Wayne.  You are the light of the world.  You are the salt of the earth.  Mat 5:13-14

[9440geoff]

Hi Pogo,

I believe God gave me these verses for you and Wayne, but I don't know why:

Rev 3:18  I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.
Rev 3:19  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
Rev 3:20  Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
Rev 3:21  To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.

I'm praying that God will give both of you His strength to endure this difficult time.

Geoff

[bunnylife]

Dear Pogo, I can only imagine what you are going through. I have never been married but I did lose a sister to lung cancer 5 years ago. I know this hard and pray the that the peace of God surround you both. Tell you husband how much Daddy God loves him. Let the light of Christ love shine brightly through you. Comfort your husband that death is sleep but he will never experience an unconscious moment. The next moment will be in Jesus loving presence. My sister never took any morphine for pain through out the whole time except when she was in a coma the last 5 hours of her life. My mom gave it to her. She was in so much pain but never let us know. The peace of God was with all of us and His love was there and will always be there for you both. I remember watching her get weaker every day. I know how your heart breaks as you do all you can to comfort him. Daddy God is there to strengthen you when you are weak. It is such a blessing you have each other. I will be praying for you and your family. I wish I had answers for your "whys". It is part of God's wonderful plan, we just can't see the big picture. But you know God and He is Love. You trust Him for He is Good! Love never fails. All is of God.

In His Love,
Bunni

[Astrapho]

I'll be praying for you and Wayne. And let Wayne know that we here at BT will be cheering him on!! Don't give up!!